bodywork

A new client returned for his second massage to report that after his first session, he had slept without discomfort for the first time in months. Oh the joy of hearing updates like this! We still have work to do releasing patterns created by overuse and postural habits, but he was feeling hopeful.

He went on to tell me that his previous experiences with massage were so intense that he had been in massive pain for three or four days after each treatment. After experiencing relief from our session, he had come to the conclusion that the previous “strong sensation” (aka painful) approach had actually been making the condition worse.

I concur.

We had a brief chat about pain, the fight or flight reflex, and the resulting release of stress hormones and contraction of muscles. It’s my intention to create the exact opposite effect by encouraging the relaxation response: the release of feel-good hormones, unwinding tension, deep breathing, and muscle melting. It’s part of my mission to educate people about the power of coaxing the body into relaxation rather than attempting (and almost always failing) to force it into submission.

The thing that brings me even more joy is the next step in healing where people recognize that wellness is the result of listening to the messages their bodies deliver, treating themselves kindly, and taking good care of themselves. We live in a world that values doing more, going faster, powering through the upsets, and pushing ourselves incredibly hard. Until we begin to value wellness, relaxation, pleasure, and comfort equally as much, if not more, we will continue to suffer with chronic pain and promote the internal conditions that contribute to chronic and debilitating disease.

If you’re interested in a gentle, therapeutic massage and you live in the Philly area, this is my jam. I’m a no-pain specialist. The goal is to meet muscles where they are, sinking in until the first hint of resistance says stop, and lingering there while inviting the tension to soften. Schedule online here.

If you live elsewhere, I’d encourage you to do some research before scheduling a session. Some therapists are firmly entrenched in the “no pain, no gain” agenda and therefore going gentle is not in their repertoire at all. There’s a local studio that uses 💪 💪 💪 next to each of the providers’ names as an indicator of pressure range. Just like the 🌶️ 🌶️ 🌶️ rating in a Thai restaurant, you can better choose appropriately if you know what to expect.

(I’ll add that out of a possible five 💪, none of these therapists offered a level 1, and only two of the eight offer level 2. There was a whole lot of hoopla about seven of them going all the way to the max. Sigh.)

If you call a spa and ask for a certain kind of pressure, you’re likely to get a “yes”. Yes, sir, how high sir? The goal in a spa is to book lots of sessions and the front desk folks are eager to get you in the door. You might try asking which therapist they would recommend given your desire to relax instead of suffer. Since they might never have had a massage, might enjoy something entirely different, or don’t know the staff’s strengths and weaknesses, this approach is hit or miss.

Instead, I’d suggest going with an individual in private practice. Someone who works for him/herself and has hopefully created some content online so you can get an idea of what to expect. Sure, the spas and the franchises will have glossier websites with lots of bells and whistles. But this mission is about finding a good match for your needs, and that’s likely to come from a humble site like this one.

You could start simply by saying that you enjoy a relaxing/gentle/medium or light pressure/full body treatment and wonder if that’s available. Then listen to what they don’t say. They might agree, but with hesitation suggesting that this is out of their comfort zone or that they just aren’t into work like this, even though they can do it.

Personally, I’d rather have no massage than to suffer through one that hurts or to have to constantly ask the therapist to back off. AND there are enough of us providers out there, I feel confident that you can find a compatible practitioner if you do a little exploring.

Massage doesn’t have to hurt. I truly believe that it shouldn’t. But you’re going to have to advocate for yourself because much of the world doesn’t know this yet.

Painful Massage is Not the Answer

A new client returned for his second massage to report that after his first session, he…
This is a question often asked by a first-time client at the end of our session. This week it was a man wondering how I knew that his right foot had been troubling him when he hadn’t mentioned it during the intake.

He came for help with chronic back pain after having already been through all the tests and scans and been told by numerous doctors that he was “fine”.

But he didn’t feel fine. He was in constant pain. Clearly there was something out of whack, even if it couldn’t be seen on an MRI.

I know from experience that foot, knee, and hip alignment impacts the lower back. Put a rock in your shoe for a day and then notice how the pain ricochets up the legs and into the spine. It’s simple body mechanics that when we favor a sore spot, muscles compensate and protect and can easily throw the entire musculoskeletal system off balance.

I could tell this by looking at the position of his feet while he was lying on the table. I could clearly see that the right and left feet were very different from one another. I could especially tell when I touched his feet.

What he noticed is that I used a different technique on his right foot. I explained that because his feet were different from one another that they called for different strategies. My intuition and sense of touch informed me in the moment of how to proceed. Not some procedural manual or protocol.

A skilled and attuned bodyworker approaches each session with curiosity and compassion rather than an agenda. We’re not afraid to use gentle touch to explore painful areas to try and provide some relief.

I remember a time in college when my back was hurting. My friends and I were at a terrible sports bar. It was loud and crowded and I’d been standing too long. My roommate knew I was uncomfortable and laid her hand on my low back and made a few circular movements. I froze in place. Not because it was weird to be getting massage in that atmosphere, but because no one had even done that before and I’d been suffering from chronic pain for six years. I sensed then that the power of touch was some potent medicine even if I didn’t consciously understand what was happening.

It was many years after that aha moment that I found myself in training to become a massage therapist and Reiki practitioner and ever so eager to help others with chronic pain. An astrologer once told me that I was fated to work in the healing arts based on my natal chart. That may be true; it does seem like my entire life set me up to understand that there is more to healing than X-rays and prescriptions.

I soon developed a knack for finding the knots, the anomalies, the inconsistencies and exploring how to address them. It didn’t take me long to realize that pushing hard on a painful area did not produce lasting results. After doing thousands of sessions, it became easy to pinpoint the areas that needed attention. I can’t always explain it, but I soon become aware of an X that marks the spot during many sessions.

That’s how I know. That body doesn’t keep secrets, and I know how to listen.

I expect I’ll be seeing that man again soon. What’s really cool is that each session will be different because I’ll connect with him, his foot, and all his parts exactly as they are, discerning where the tension and constrictions lie.

My answer will be the same if he again asks, “How did you know?” I knew because I was tuned in to what the body was telling me and responded accordingly.

How Did You Know?

This is a question often asked by a first-time client at the end of our session.…
A good portion of my work is focused on helping folks with chronic muscle tension and the resulting discomfort. Let’s just say I have a fair amount of job security; thanks to the stressfulness of modern-day living there’s no shortage of tension.

I’ve learned some interesting things over the past 20+ years doing massage and Reiki in addition to finding balance in my own body.

Very frequently a protective mechanism is involved and stimulating the muscle(s) to contract. Fighting against a contracted muscle is an arm-wrestling match you can never win.

It could be the nervous system activating the reflex that attempts to ensure your survival by preparing to fight or flee. It does this by tensing the muscles in your extremities.

It could be an old injury, long forgotten, and the resulting movement pattern that continues on long past it’s helpfulness. It could be an emotional upset or energetic blockage.

What these things all have in common is that they are not effectively treated by pummeling, stretching, thumping or mashing a tense muscle.

Protective mechanisms respond to creating a sense of safety and awareness in the body. Gentle, non-invasive, non-painful touch can communicate to the part that is standing guard, hyper-vigilant and overprotective, that it’s ok to let go. Once that message is received, the muscles can relax effortlessly.

Rather than trying to force the muscles, which btw are only following orders from the nervous system, to release, in my work I go right to the command center and convince the boss that it’s time for a new strategy.

This is why a lot of DIY approaches fail. Stretching a muscle that is on high alert/lock down might feel good in the moment, but it does nothing to change the reason why the muscle is tight to begin with. Same goes for getting your GF, BF, BFF, spouse, sister or neighbor to jab an elbow into the knot.

If you’re not experiencing relief from your current approach, I’d like to suggest trying something different in order to invite different results.

Makes sense, right?

I specialize in gentle massage and Reiki treatments to reduce stress, pain and suffering. These are not your ordinary sessions! My clients report deep transformation and relaxation because I communicate with the command center rather than attempting to overpower muscles.

Book yourself an appointment and let’s get started on rewiring your nervous system and giving your muscles a break.

Book Online

A Holistic Approach to Muscle Tension and Chronic Pain

A good portion of my work is focused on helping folks with chronic muscle tension and…
Over the past few weeks, four mothers have contacted me to schedule treatments for their teenage children. I couldn’t be more delighted! How wonderful that they have the opportunity to learn the value of listening to and honoring their bodies and emotions at a young age. I feel like I’m inducting them all into a revolutionary counterculture club in which cultivating health includes creating body/mind/spirit balance and freely flowing life-force energy.

I love teaching them that bodywork is much more complex than pushing hard on a tight muscle or rubbing where it hurts. I wish everyone knew this! I’m thrilled to introduce such a radical concept to anyone anytime, but the idea of someone starting off their bodywork experiences knowing this little gem can set them up for amazing results over time.

What’s most exciting is educating them about their autonomy during a session. (Yes, I meant autonomy, not anatomy!) They get to say what they’d like to work on and what they need to be comfortable. They can tell me to avoid anything they don’t like, and I will, even if I think it’s important to the treatment. We might have a chat about it, but they get the final word. They have the power to end the session immediately without needing to explain why. They can say “ouch” or “no” during a massage if they want less pressure or for me to move on to another area.

It occurred to me while discussing this with a young woman that these guidelines apply to people of all ages, but I don’t usually take the time to discuss them with adults. I assume that grown-ups know. But there is a seeming power differential in the treatment room where the professional can be seen as the expert. We’re standing, the client is lying down. We’re fully dressed and they, at the very least, have taken their shoes off. These factors can make it look like we’re in charge.

But we’re not.

The client is always the expert on their needs. Always.

However old you are, I hope you’ll hear me when I say this! You’re the boss of your session. OK, there are limits, and you won’t get a great treatment by micromanaging your therapist. We do have extensive training and many of us years, decades even, of experience. But “no” means no during a session. If your practitioner will not honor that, find one who does. There are plenty of times in life when we are not fully in control of our experiences, but healing treatments should not be one of them.

If you’re a caregiver for a child who needs some support, please contact me to discuss treatment options.

I wish everyone knew this about bodywork…

Over the past few weeks, four mothers have contacted me to schedule treatments for their teenage…
It’s perfectly natural to rub or press on sore muscles. Instinctive even. I encourage folks to actively participate in caring for their bodies and think self-massage is a beautiful addition to a wellness routine. As many parents know, simple human contact can be incredibly soothing. As massage recipients know, treating aching and stiff muscles can provide incredible relief.

There are lots of tools that can help us reach spots that are difficult to touch, and I use my Backnobber, foam roller, and a tennis ball frequently. However, I’ve all but stopped recommending self-massage to clients. Many of them got too aggressive and showed up the following week with bruises!

So, yes, these tools can be helpful, but even more helpful is understanding the reasons what makes massage beneficial. I can’t stress enough that a compassionate, gentle approach is going to be most effective. Let go of any idea of punishing muscles for misbehaving or trying to beat them into submission.

It’s also important to examine the cause of the pain. It’s often an imbalance in the structure of the body. Muscles that are habitually shortened due to posture and repetitive movement tug on the opposing muscles, eliciting a complaint from a location that is not the cause. Neck and shoulder pain from hunching over a keyboard all day is the perfect example. Treating the symptom might provide pleasant sensations, maybe even temporary relief in the form of distraction, but won’t create any lasting change.

I have a few basic guidelines I’d like to share to promote safe and productive self-massage.
1. Massage promotes relaxation. My specialty is connecting with the nervous system, and allowing chronic tension to fade by reducing the internal alarm bells signaling danger. Pain, even self-induced pain produced in an attempt to treat chronic pain, triggers the symapathetic nervous system and activates muscular contraction. It’s totally counterproductive!
2. Massage promotes circulation, bringing oxygenated blood to muscles and removing cellular wastes. This is easily achieved with a light to medium pressure. Intense pressure that produces pain, over even the expectation of pain, causes the breath to become shallow or even held. Counterproductive!
3. Massage ideally addresses musculoskeletal imbalances. A basic knowledge of anatomy, physiology, and body mechanics is helpful. For example, in the 15,000 + sessions I’ve given, never once have the rhomboids (the muscles between the shoulder blades) been the cause of pain in that area. Sure, they’re tight on almost everyone, but that’s because chest muscles are habitually contracted, overstretching the rhomboids. Applying a lot of pressure to an overstretched muscle is beyond counterproductive.
I am in full support of anyone who wishes to improve wellness with a DIY approach. Please do keep in mind these simple guidelines so that you can take action without creating harm. When in doubt, check in with your body- it doesn’t lie! But our minds have been conditioned to do more, go deeper, suck it up, and push through. Counterproductive!
Self-Massage Tips

It’s perfectly natural to rub or press on sore muscles. Instinctive even. I encourage folks to…
Since I was 13, back pain has been a lingering presence in my life; one I’ve learned to minimize through holistic lifestyle choices. I’ve also worked with countless clients over the past 20 years with similar issues. I have accumulated tons of experience in this area. When this nemesis reappeared with gusto last year, I had a lot of tools at my disposal, but I still frequently experienced sensations that ranged from discomfort to debilitating pain.

I’ve learned so much on my journey. I can speak to this issue on the physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual planes. While I sometimes utilize analgesics, I know the cause is not a deficiency of ibuprofen or CBD cream, so I keep investigating. I want to treat the root, not just the symptoms. Tight hip flexors, sitting too much, exercising too aggressively, one’s ability to ask for and receive support, and complex feelings related to sexuality, belonging, safety, or worthiness can all contribute to an imbalance that affects the low back.

Relieving lumbar pain and its frequent companion, sciatic nerve pain, is my wheelhouse. Yet none of my interventions had any lasting effect. The irritation that arose from being so ineffective only contributed to the problem. Such events are quite humbling for us bodyworkers! Until I remembered… it can be hard to see the forest for the trees.

Finally, I asked for help. I was pointed to a specific, often overlooked, muscle. (Thank you, Laura! <3) The moment I heard the word, bells went off in my head. It’s part of every bodywork session I provide, but I’ve rarely thought of my own sartorius muscles since, well… ever. While I religiously address all the soft tissue that connects to the pelvis when working with clients, I had left it out of my stretching routine. Given my tendency to sit cross- legged, it had shortened and began to tug on the front of my pelvis, creating an imbalance that spread through my lumbar region.

It took a bit of searching to find a good technique for addressing this bugger. It’s not something that’s easy to get into without intending to do so. Many of the videos and articles I found didn’t really do it justice. I’m sharing the one that really did below, along with the reminder that even though we may be knowledgable about something, it never hurts to get a second opinion from a subjective and trusted advisor.

You can ignore the ”for runners” qualification in the title. I am not, nor ever have been, a runner, and found this stretch to be very helpful. It might be the missing link in your search for freedom from back pain too.

Treating Low Back Pain Holistically

Since I was 13, back pain has been a lingering presence in my life; one I’ve…
Recently I was talking with a friend who’s also an occasional client. Many moons ago we did a series of three massages over the course of a month to treat shoulder pain which had been plaguing her for years.

“To tell you the truth,” she said quietly, with a sheepish look on her face, “I didn’t think the gentle work you did would be effective. As it turns out, it was exactly what I needed to experience a deep healing.”

We have this erroneous belief in our culture that a therapy needs to be aggressive to produce results. That somehow the more painful a treatment is, the better the outcome will be. I’ve heard reports of clients not returning to me, or others with similar technique, because “it didn’t hurt enough.”

True story! It didn’t hurt enough. Which begs the questions, how much should it hurt? Or what is the origin of this mistaken belief that causing pain is a realistic strategy for releasing pain?

Pain, or even the hint of possible future pain, stimulates the fight/flight/freeze response which activates a sequence of physiological reactions, including the tensing of muscles. Tense muscles tend to pull joints and the skeleton out of alignment and impede the circulation of blood, which delivers oxygen and removes toxins. This is a recipe for more pain!

Perhaps in some extreme cases, this might be beneficial, but in my experience as a giver and receiver of massage for nearly 20 years, gentle touch produces much more beneficial results. Creating a soothing, relaxing experience can alter the body’s chemistry, promoting healing as well as circulation, and allowing muscles to soften rather than contract. A type of somatic trust develops organically, with the body learning that it will be comforted and acknowledged rather than attacked and punished. Think “ahhhhhh….” vs “OW!“

While we might be able to force a muscle to temporarily release under duress, it’s indeed possible to cultivate long lasting healing with a more gentle approach. If you’ve shied away from bodywork due to upsetting experiences in the past, I’m sorry. I’m sorry that you were hurt and even more sorry if it prevented you from seeking further treatment.

While many massage therapists will disagree with me, there are plenty of us who are willing to work with you in a pain-free setting. A simple inquiry will help you discern who is a good match for your needs. And if you’re wondering why your aggressive therapy isn’t producing lasting change, you might want to switch it up and try a different approach.

Massage. It really doesn’t have to hurt!

Massage Doesn’t Have to Hurt!

Recently I was talking with a friend who’s also an occasional client. Many moons ago we…
I get this question a lot from new clients. Is Reiki or massage better? It’s common knowledge that both are helpful for reducing stress and pain, so how does one choose which treatment will provide the most relief?

First of all, neither is better. They’re both fabulous. Just different.

For people who don’t wish to get undressed, don’t want their hair to get mucked up, or don’t like to be touched, Reiki is the perfect solution. Clients remain fully clothed, no oil or lotion is used, and healing energy can be transferred either with or without touch. For those who enjoy the gliding or kneading of bodywork or the moisturizing benefit of being coated in massage cream, well that’s an obvious choice as well.

For the rest of us, it all depends on the goals for the session and the origin of the stressors. Massage is extremely helpful for correcting postural imbalances from sitting too long at a desk and for muscle aches from repetitive movements. It’s my go-to technique for issues that are firmly rooted in the physical body.

For concerns that arise primarily from the mental/emotional realm, I find Reiki to be more helpful. For example, the type of stress that is unleashed from having too much to do and too little time. Reiki is brilliant. It excels at resetting the inner alarm system that keeps us on edge when we’re trying to unplug for a rest. Anxiety, depression, and insomnia all respond particularly well, as does old trauma that was hasn’t yet been released fully.

Yet it really isn’t as black or white as that. The physical, mental and emotional bodies are all interwoven and constantly impact one another. If I’m worried about meeting a deadline, the concern begins in my mind but it triggers physiological affect as well. If I spend 12 hours in front of my computer, it’s my body that is slumped over and achy, but my mood also pays a price.

If we bring in spiritual aspirations such as reclaiming worthiness or embodying the divine, the waters get even murkier. Releasing tension from the muscles allows us greater freedom to pursue a meditation practice or creative projects. And using Reiki to bring the chakras into alignment or balancing the flow of energy top to toe can give us the fuel we need to really dig into the necessary action steps.

The good news is, you don’t have to choose. This needn’t be an either/or situation. It can be a both/and scenario. It’s possible to blend energywork and bodywork together in a treatment. I really enjoy offering combination sessions as I can pull what’s most useful from each system for the immediate circumstances. Or it’s possible to alternate modalities depending on what your unique needs are on that particular day. This might require some advanced planning if you’re seeing two different practitioners. However, there are quite a lot of us hybrids out there who can adapt relatively easily.

I don’t think I’ve done a very good job answering the question! I guess my short answer is, it depends. In the care of a skilled and caring practitioner, you really can’t go wrong though. Either modality can be an effective tool for most complaints. Rather than trying to analyze the benefits intellectually, I think you’ll get a lot more information from experiencing a session. When in doubt, place a hand over your heart and inquire within. You have a great well of wisdom inside and who knows better than you what is in your best interest?

Which is Better, Reiki or Massage?

I get this question a lot from new clients. Is Reiki or massage better? It’s common…
Over the past 18 years of practicing Reiki and massage, I’ve noted the things that clients, particularly women, apologize for that don’t require an apology. Once somebody head-butted me while turning over and sometimes people don’t show up for appointments. These are apology- worthy events. The way you look or feel is not. It saddens me that we’ve been indoctrinated to be embarrassed or ashamed of our bodies and emotions.

I’m sorry that my hair is wet or not freshly washed, that my toes are unpainted or just-now-painted, that my legs are unshaven, that I did or didn’t put on makeup. These are all expressions that I used to hear frequently when I worked in a spa. In my private practice, my regular clients have all been informed that none of these things matter to me. They are accepted exactly as they are and have learned to forgo the amends.

My all-time favorite is, “Sorry I fell asleep.” Feeling safe and relaxed enough to drift off during a treatment is the ultimate compliment to me! Likewise, snoring isn’t offensive. It’s amusing and endearing when it gets loud enough to wake the snorer up.

Having difficulty settling in or getting comfortable is quite common in a treatment room and it’s the therapist’s job to help you do so. There is absolutely no call to apologize for being too hot or too cold or having a leg cramp. Seriously, we want you to be ideally cozy and without sudden, searing pain and will go to great lengths to accommodate your needs. It’s no trouble at all to get an extra blanket or adjust the face cradle.

It’s not uncommon for tears to come up before, during, or after a session. Sometimes people arrive in vulnerable state and other times old pain is released from its storage place. Either way, there’s nothing to be ashamed about. While clients may not be accustomed to crying in front of another person, any bodyworker or energyworker worth their salt is solidly rooted in compassion and able to stay present without feeling the need to fix or solve anything. You might feel uncomfortable shedding tears, which is perfectly natural, but please know that there is absolutely no reason to apologize for them.

I’d like to suggest that we save our apologies for when they are truly necessary; when we hurt someone either accidentally or deliberately and condolences. Let’s stop apologizing for things that are beyond our control or that violate ridiculous societal norms, especially for feeling upset and for the shape and condition of our bodies.

Here’s a trick that might help you. When wondering if I need to say “I’m sorry”, I imagine my adorable six year old niece and whether or not I would expect or demand an apology from her in similar circumstances. Why would I apply higher standards to myself than this sweet, sassy, and innocent being? Choose a cutie you know or even one from a darling YouTube video and give it a try. I think you’ll find it incredibly liberating! I sure did.

No Need to Apologize

Over the past 18 years of practicing Reiki and massage, I’ve noted the things that clients,…