I’ve already chosen self-compassion as my theme for 2023. I’m guiding a group on New Year’s Day in my Meetup group, and figured I should do my own work ahead of time. I chose the solstice for my introspective inventory of what’s going on in myself and in my life and what I’d like to call in for next year.
What came up for me is a desire to be 100% on my side, 100% of the time. I saw so clearly how I sometimes reject my feelings when they are uncomfortable or inconvenient and how very unkind that is. I had the image of shoving a lollipop in a little girl’s mouth with the intention of stopping her tears. NOT how I want to be responding to my own emotions!
I made short video of a process that I use to cultivate compassion. It’s so simple! And we don’t often see it modeled in our culture, so it might seem completely foreign. I feel confident that everyone can learn how to do this with some practice.
If this resonates with you, you might be interested in an upcoming event, an installment of my Holistic Wellness series, which will focus on self-compassion. You can learn more and sign up here. If that’s not your thing, I hope you’ll at least take the exercise from the video out for a few spins and see how it lands for you.
I’ve already chosen self-compassion as my theme for 2023. I’m guiding a group on New Year’s…
We had some crazy cold temperatures and frigid wind last week. It hasn’t risen above freezing yet, so the gorgeous effects have been preserved. Happily it’s gotten less cold; enough so that it no longer hurts to breathe, and I ventured out today. I documented some of the sights for you to enjoy if 28F doesn’t sound like fun to you.
I actually found myself overdressed once I started moving. I suppose the second wool sweater was a bit too much, and ended up peeling it off and carrying it home. I seem to be more warm blooded than most and have a pretty hearty constitution. I find the cold to be invigorating! And it keeps the crowds down, which is a bonus in my eyes.
Whatever you’re doing today, I hope you’re warm and toasty. May you be peaceful and full of joy.
OOPS! I didn’t publish this yesterday, December 21, which was actually the solstice. Oh well, close enough. 🙂
A significant turning point in the cycle of the year, today is the winter solstice in the northern hemisphere. That means tonight is the longest night and that tomorrow night will be slightly shorter. The days will become increasingly longer.
It’s a great time of year to turn inward. Our western society does a tremendous job of compelling the exact opposite, but if you tune in to the rhythms of nature, you can sense the pause. The pause is where clarity arises. It’s my goal to use this time of the year to slow down and allow inner wisdom to guide me. Before I begin investing my time and energy in the new year, it really helps to have a grounded and embodied sense of where I actually want to go rather than just continuing on the same trajectory I’ve been following.
My plans for today include venturing out into the cold quiet of the winter woods to refresh my life-force energy and spending some time in community. It’s lovely to be with other folks who are doing the inner work of exploring and releasing the old patterns that are no longer beneficial. I’ll give myself some time to integrate the results before setting my intentions for the new year, at an online event you’re most welcome to attend.
Whatever you do today, or on the days surrounding the solstice, I wish you peace, clarity, and acceptance. This may not be your preferred season, but isn’t it beautiful in its own way, nonetheless? We haven’t yet had any snow to speak of here in Philadelphia, but I think this photo from my last adventure in the woods conveys the spirit of Pennsylvania in winter.
Seasons greetings, friends. Take good care of yourselves.
OOPS! I didn’t publish this yesterday, December 21, which was actually the solstice. Oh well, close…
I’ve been intentionally slowing down for the month of December. I realized that I perhaps overshot the mark when more than 50% of my clients this month cancelled or moved their sessions to January! I wanted to slow down and do less, but SHEESH! not that slow! I’ve since course- corrected and things have been normalizing over the past few days.
During this time of contemplation and introspection, a plan has emerged. I’ve gotten a lot of clarity about how I want to invest my energy in the new year. It will take some time to unfold, but today I’m happy to announce the first step. I’ve launched a Meetup group: Reiki Plus, Online Metaphysical Wellness Group. It’s free to join and I hope to see you there!
“Whether you’re curious about Reiki, wanting to learn more or maybe get initiated, or a practitioner (seasoned, beginner, reluctant, or lapsed), this group is for you! Wherever you are on the planet, there is space for you here. We will be meeting exclusively online.
“Together we will explore tools and applications for holistic healing, personal growth, embodied spirituality, and self-empowerment. While Reiki is the foundation of my offerings, I also “stack” complementary techniques for a synergistic effect. We’ll experiment with different metaphysical recipes to maximize your results: what I call Reiki Plus.
“Uncovering wholeness and worthiness, examining unconscious beliefs and conditioning, regulating the nervous system, and replenishing life-force energy are the goals for our events. No matter what your history, circumstances, or beliefs, I believe it’s possible to use Reiki to experience optimal wellness, joy, peace, freedom, and creativity.
“You’ll find a wide variety of events, including intention setting circles, Reiki circles, group coaching and workshops for folks already initiated, and traditional Reiki certification classes.”
The first event I’m hosting will be on January 1st. I’ll guide a body-mind-spirit centered intention-setting process. I call this the head-heart-belly approach to getting #$^! done. The idea is to get all the parts of yourself on the same side, working together as a team for your greatest good. It’s a practice I do myself every year and have shared with my local Reiki community in the past. I’m expanding the invitation to anyone who’s interested in joining.
If you’re new to Meetup, you’re in for a treat! It’s a great network of folks doing unique work. It’s easy to sign up. The notifications can get overwhelming, so I suggest you make alterations that suit the amount of activity you’d prefer in your inbox.
I have a lot of ideas about what I want to share. The easiest way to keep up with the offerings as they develop is to join the Meetup group. There’s no obligation to ever attend, but you’ll keep your options open. I’d love to have you onboard!
I’ve been intentionally slowing down for the month of December. I realized that I perhaps overshot…
A beautiful talk on acceptance of what is vs. rejecting the parts of ourselves we think shouldn’t still be here. “Sadness wants to be held, not healed.” I found this <9 minute video to be very touching.
A beautiful talk on acceptance of what is vs. rejecting the parts of ourselves we think…
This is just delightful! I’ve been using it this evening to drown out my neighbor’s TV. It’s a lovely background sound, allowing me to read and meditate without being distracted by unwanted noise. Try it! The visuals are enchanting.
This is just delightful! I’ve been using it this evening to drown out my neighbor’s TV.…
It’s perfectly natural to rub or press on sore muscles. Instinctive even. I encourage folks to actively participate in caring for their bodies and think self-massage is a beautiful addition to a wellness routine. As many parents know, simple human contact can be incredibly soothing. As massage recipients know, treating aching and stiff muscles can provide incredible relief.
There are lots of tools that can help us reach spots that are difficult to touch, and I use my Backnobber, foam roller, and a tennis ball frequently. However, I’ve all but stopped recommending self-massage to clients. Many of them got too aggressive and showed up the following week with bruises!
So, yes, these tools can be helpful, but even more helpful is understanding the reasons what makes massage beneficial. I can’t stress enough that a compassionate, gentle approach is going to be most effective. Let go of any idea of punishing muscles for misbehaving or trying to beat them into submission.
It’s also important to examine the cause of the pain. It’s often an imbalance in the structure of the body. Muscles that are habitually shortened due to posture and repetitive movement tug on the opposing muscles, eliciting a complaint from a location that is not the cause. Neck and shoulder pain from hunching over a keyboard all day is the perfect example. Treating the symptom might provide pleasant sensations, maybe even temporary relief in the form of distraction, but won’t create any lasting change.
I have a few basic guidelines I’d like to share to promote safe and productive self-massage.
Massage promotes relaxation. My specialty is connecting with the nervous system, and allowing chronic tension to fade by reducing the internal alarm bells signaling danger. Pain, even self-induced pain produced in an attempt to treat chronic pain, triggers the symapathetic nervous system and activates muscular contraction. It’s totally counterproductive!
Massage promotes circulation, bringing oxygenated blood to muscles and removing cellular wastes. This is easily achieved with a light to medium pressure. Intense pressure that produces pain, over even the expectation of pain, causes the breath to become shallow or even held. Counterproductive!
Massage ideally addresses musculoskeletal imbalances. A basic knowledge of anatomy, physiology, and body mechanics is helpful. For example, in the 15,000 + sessions I’ve given, never once have the rhomboids (the muscles between the shoulder blades) been the cause of pain in that area. Sure, they’re tight on almost everyone, but that’s because chest muscles are habitually contracted, overstretching the rhomboids. Applying a lot of pressure to an overstretched muscle is beyond counterproductive.
I am in full support of anyone who wishes to improve wellness with a DIY approach. Please do keep in mind these simple guidelines so that you can take action without creating harm. When in doubt, check in with your body- it doesn’t lie! But our minds have been conditioned to do more, go deeper, suck it up, and push through. Counterproductive!
It’s perfectly natural to rub or press on sore muscles. Instinctive even. I encourage folks to…
A quick update on my Slowing Down for December intention. The universe heard my request and has responded with half of my clients cancelling appointments this week and last. It’s a good opportunity to let go of the ancient fear of not having enough, to re-examine the wisdom of the “careful what you wish for” maxim, and to renew faith that things always work out, often in unexpected ways.
For the greater part of my days, I’m camped out of my Bio-Mat, surrounded by a stack of books that I’ve wanted to read for ages, a cup of tea, my journal, and an array of colorful markers. There’s something about having a beautiful notebook and great pens that makes the task of inner exploration seem less daunting. As do my comfy pajamas- it’s hard to take things too seriously when you’re covered in lemons and wearing your favorite fuzzy socks. 🙂
I do have some structure provided by guided meditations and written exercises designed to help me uncover what’s beneath the surface identities that I present to the world. The process of letting go of attachments and conditioned beliefs can be unpleasant, and I have a circle of friends with whom I check in frequently. It’s helpful to hear that they are facing many of the same challenges, and like me, continue to show up and face whatever arises, nonetheless.
Curiously some physical discomfort has amplified-or is it that I’ve removed enough distractions that I can actually receive the messages my body is sending? I’ve pulled out some massage tools to apply gentle pressure andstimulate circulation. (This is key! The goal is not to punish muscles for misbehaving or to beat them into submission, but to give them some loving attention and bring awareness to postural and movement patterns. More on this in an upcoming post.)
I ventured out to the farmers market for some produce and have been getting out most days for walks, so I’m not entirely reclusive aside from work. The goal has really been to clear my schedule so I can tune into my needs and desires with minimal influence from those insidious “shoulds”. As it turns out, I prefer books and trees to small talk, media of all forms, and shopping. No surprises there!
Basically, I’m playing detective and discovering what I can let go of and what I can cultivate in order to move into the new year in the most authentic way. Being present with emotions and sensations seems to be the only way to get an accurate reading on what to keep and what to release. Being still and quiet supports the inquiry.
We’re really in the darkest of days here in the northern hemisphere as the moon wanes and the winter solstice approaches. It’s really no hardship to stay tucked inside my cozy little apartment as much as possible. While it’s not exactly easy either, I am grateful that I decided to give myself this gift of doing things my way. It’s my hope that you’ll lean into doing things your way too.
Luminous Heart Reiki & Massage 