acceptance

Some days just don’t go as planned. One thing goes awry and then another and another, eventually things snowball farther and farther from the desired destination. Soon, it all seems out of my control and nothing works the way I want it to.

Sometimes, on days like this, I’m able to relinquish my attempts to get things going my way and relax into the way they are unfolding.

On those days, I often get shown how the magic appears when I stop trying so hard and allow myself to be lead to where I’m meant to be.

Today was one of those days. I found myself hanging out with a heron by the creek, enjoying several moments of wonderment. It’s my hope that the next time everything falls apart that I’ll remember this and pivot, allowing things to fall into place in a much more delightful way than I could have arranged with my best efforts.

Here’s a bonus clip of a goose argument for anyone who scrolled down far enough.

Getting Good at the Pivots

Some days just don’t go as planned. One thing goes awry and then another and another,…
I very much enjoy Jeff’s teachings on a very uncommon style of meditation. Instead of going up and out, escaping the body, he guides us down and in, landing squarely in our humanity.

He’s offering yet another free webinar that I’m excited to attend.

Here’s an excerpt from his newsletter:

THE PEACE PARADOX – Why Chasing Calm is Making You Miserable (and What to Do Instead)

Together we’ll explore:

• Why chasing “calm” often creates more inner tension
• How true meditation can welcome ALL emotions – even rage, grief, and fear
• The astonishing paradox of peace – how true peace emerges when you stop trying to be peaceful!
• A radically compassionate, deeply human approach to spiritual practice

This is not about transcending your humanity—it’s about befriending it.
https://jefffosteronline.com/the-peace-paradox/

I often share his free webinars here because they address the very obstacles that I and so many others experience on the spiritual path. He’s very generous with his offerings and these freebies offer a taste of what you can expect from his programs should you wish to go deeper.

I have no financial ties to him, this is just an amazing opportunity I want to pass along.

The Peace Paradox with Jeff Foster

I very much enjoy Jeff’s teachings on a very uncommon style of meditation. Instead of going…
I just got back from the most glorious hike. It’s drizzly and cold here in Philly, but it’s my day off and I wanted to go to the woods. While I was trekking through the trees, I chuckled to myself about descriptors people often use for days like today.

Dreary.

Miserable.

Dreadful.

Come on, now! You can write a story in your head about it being a miserable, rainy day, and it will most definitely be true for you.

But is it True, with a capital T?

No!

It’s rainy. It’s wet. The sky is gray. There are mud puddles. The fallen leaves are slippery. These statements are objectively True. That means I need to dress appropriately and be careful where I step on the trail.

So I did. No biggie. And you know what?

Nowhere did I find any misery.

Instead, I found fresh, clean air. Mud puddles! (My inner child was delighted to have a splash.) And magic. That’s the story I told myself, and for me it became True.

I did pass a couple along the path and we all agreed that it was wonderful being out there without much company. The fellow said that the rain keeps the amateurs away and we all had a good laugh.

As adults, we have myriad opportunities to stretch our comfort zone and rewrite our stories. If we don’t, the zone shrinks over time and we begin to lose freedom of choice. It’s up to each of us to recognize how much discomfort we can face in order to grow and build resilience. Or we can wallow in our restrictive demands for comfort and forever remain an amateur.

For me, hiking in a drizzle is not much of a stretch. Perhaps that’s because I have a great affinity for water and a disposition and constitution that enjoys the cold. There are other areas of life that are much more challenging for me, and this new insight has all sorts of ideas brewing about how I can better meet them with grace and willingness if not ease.

And it all begins with the words I use to describe the event/situation/environment I choose to face. Will it be dreadful or simply unknown? Dreary or just wet? Miserable or potentially magical?

You tell me.

(Please do! I’d love to hear what words you use to rewrite an old story that keeps you from experiencing absolute freedom. What’s your rainy day equivalent?)

Love Me a Rainy Day!

I just got back from the most glorious hike. It’s drizzly and cold here in Philly,…
Here we are at the beginning of another holiday season. These can be rough times for some of us. All the faux merriment imposed from the media can feel like a lot of pressure and make isolation or loneliness seem even darker. The competition to post the shiniest selfies on social media can weigh down even the most cheerful folk.

I’m here to remind us all that however we’re feeling is ok. Judging ourselves harshly for the way we feel just increases our suffering needlessly. Please be kind to yourself especially today! If you’re able to find one small thing to feel grateful for, no matter how simple or mundane, it could really help shift your mood.

If that’s just not happening, I offer this video of laughing quadruplet babies. It’s just darling. Cracks me up every time.

Wherever you are and however you’re doing, I wish you the peace that comes from within and allows us to accept ourselves exactly as we are. Laughter and gratitude are simply two of the many portals to get there. May you find your own way when the time is right.

Wishing You Peace

Here we are at the beginning of another holiday season. These can be rough times for…
“Change me, Divine Beloved, into One who honors my emotions. Let me have my feelings without judgment, and then release them. May I feel deserving to say no when needed. Show me how to be kind and loving to the child inside who needs care.”

This little gem comes from Tosha Silver’s book Change Me Prayers. It resonated with me deeply this morning and intuition tells me that others can benefit from these wise words as well, so I’m sharing them here.

My emotions are all over the place these days, and I hear the same from people of all walks of life. I’ve observed that the simple practice of noticing and accepting whatever comes up without attachment, denial, or aversion contributes tremendously to my ability to return to peace with greater ease.

Witnessing all the parts of myself is essential for reclaiming wholeness. I cannot be whole if I’m rejecting any aspect of myself, including inconvenient or uncomfortable emotions. I’ve spent decades and loads of money and energy avoiding grief and anger only to discover it controlling my behavior from the shadows. Now I’m choosing to face it head on and allowing it to flow through me.

It is my hope for all of us to cultivate and enjoy inner calm despite the turmoil of the outer world. Tosha’s book, and this prayer in particular, are simple tools for spending maximum time feeling as serene as possible. Why not give it whirl and see what happens?

Change Me Prayers

“Change me, Divine Beloved, into One who honors my emotions. Let me have my feelings without…
I’m trying something new this year. 2018 is the time for me to feel all my feelings. It doesn’t sound all that impressive, I know. Yet it is a huge undertaking! The vast majority of my emotions have been ignored, suppressed, or deflected for decades. They’re still buried within, waiting to be experienced, digested, and released. It seems that this is the process that needs to be allowed for true healing to occur.

There are several key components that I’ve committed to in order to support this endeavor. I’ve recently realized that lasting change requires all of the pieces to be in play simultaneously.
- Gathering a team of compassionate, understanding, and supportive friends who can witness my journey without judging, blaming, shaming, or advising.
- Eliminating self-medication strategies such as alcohol, sugar, and processed foods and limiting time spent on social media, watching TV, and engaging in meaningless chit-chat.
- Devotion to spiritual practices that release blockages and reroute that freed energy for a higher purpose.
- Willingness to be radically honesty with myself about what is coming up in each moment.
- Commitment to stillness when uncomfortable emotions arise.
Ugh! It’s so much easier to eat something, to distract myself with electronics, or to check out with a nice pint of beer. I’ve become a master at using yoga, dance, and Reiki to shift the energy of discomfort. I now recognize this behavior as misusing these powerful techniques to avoid the work of healing by preventing emotions from rising to the surface for processing. Discomfort cannot be avoided in the healing process. Ugh!

Perhaps the most valuable lesson I’m learning is that there are multiple ways to use Reiki for emotional healing. First, it can be a remedy for getting through difficult situations by providing comfort in the moment. Second, it can be used to prevent emotions from becoming festering wounds that develop over time through neglect and abandonment. And thirdly (perhaps most importantly) it can be used to muster up the courage and willingness to sit quietly in loving awareness with whatever is true in each moment; without moving to escape or repair it.

So here I sit, prepared to experience whatever arises; willing to feel all my feelings despite great discomfort and the urge to flee. It might not sound impressive, but when I am able to allow complete emotional honesty, the liberation I experience is phenomenal. While the rewards are mostly internal, they are truly transformative. And that is more valuable to me than sounding impressive.
Emotional Honesty

I’m trying something new this year. 2018 is the time for me to feel all my…
I’ve been experiencing intermittent pain in my left foot for almost a year now. It comes and goes mysteriously, aggravated by hiking, dancing, and bouncing- basically the types exercise that bring me joy. At first I tried to ignore it; after all it’s usually a dull ache, with short spurts of intensity, but generally tolerable. Obviously this strategy was a failure!

For several months I’ve been using all my tools: anti-inflammatory diet, healing essential oils, ice packs, rest, elevation, and of course loads of massage and Reiki treatments. Nothing seems to have any lasting effect. A friend suggested castor oil packs, which did seem to allow for more mobility immediately afterwards, but now not so much. As summer is approaching, the idea of sitting still with my foot in a castor oil-soaked sock wrapped in a heating pad is decidedly unappealing.

So what to do when all the healing techniques you know aren’t helping? It seems there are four basic answers for me, and I’m exploring them all with full gusto. First, get some help. Sounds obvious, right? Trading in fierce independence for a more balanced regime of giving AND receiving through interdependence is a big lesson for me. I am determined to keep practicing this skill. I’ve started receiving acupuncture twice a week to relieve pain and to balance the energy flow through my body.

Secondly, can I accept that forces bigger than myself are at play? Can I acknowledge that I’m feeling frustrated at my seeming failure to heal myself and the resulting lack of mobility? And at the same time, can I investigate the possible silver lining? Can I react favorably to a forced rest period that allows me to read <gasp!> novels and to journal? Can I learn to accept that this is what I have to work with in this moment, and release all my attachments, judgments, and expectations that only increase my suffering? Although I’m not 100% there just yet, I’m convinced that yes, I indeed can do this.

Thirdly, what is the message my body is trying to deliver? At first glance, asking for and receiving help and enjoying more stillness are answers that float to the surface. Yet I want to tap into the deeper layers. Yesterday during my acupuncture treatment, I asked my inner self, “What am I not seeing?” I had an instant vision of dense roots reaching up from the earth, trapping me in place. While I’m still contemplating the full meaning of this experience, it seems obvious that fear of moving forward, of stepping into my full potential, and rising above my current belief system has been tethering me.

It’s tempting to be lured into the story of why, when, and how I got here; I have the tools to release fear and tap into my inner strength, purpose, and willingness to heal without intellectually understanding this ailment. That’s the beauty of Reiki; it is spiritually guided and I don’t need to know. Now that I have a goal of getting unstuck and releasing fear of the unknown that change is certain to bring, I can begin to appreciate the final answer to my question of what to do when nothing is working. Gratitude, mingled with trust. Clearly the universe has a plan in place for my growth and awakening that I am unable to see.

For some reason, this chapter is a part of my journey. For now, I can accept this on faith and remain open to the lessons at hand. I’m also reminded of my upcoming role on a panel for Healthy Aging at my neighborhood holistic health fair. It’s a fantastic opportunity to share my knowledge about growing older while prioritizing health, recharging Ki (life force energy), and heeding pain as a messenger. This helps create a healthy lifestyle that cultivates wellness and vitality, regardless of the hand (or foot) we’ve been dealt.

Ouch! That hurts.

I’ve been experiencing intermittent pain in my left foot for almost a year now. It comes…
This morning I woke up in a funk. Knowing myself as I do, I recognized that there were three possible outcomes. One was to let the funk take over and drag me down, potentially for days or even weeks. I was all about finding an alternative to this undesirable conclusion. Another possibility was to numb and distract myself from the gnawing sensation inside. I am well-practiced at the art of avoidance and needless to say none of these activities actually make me feel better.

I am choosing Door Number Three: sitting with the pain. My Reiki practice has taught me that much of the suffering I experience is due to stuck emotions. Once I am willing to let go, things begin to shift, and progress might be slow, but it begins rather quickly. Since I had been planning to go to my favorite yoga class, I realized that would be a great opportunity to get unstuck. It was a close call as I really wanted to stay home with the novel I was enjoying and just zone out. So I went online immediately and signed into class, knowing that once I’d paid, I’d have excellent motivation to go.

I highly appreciate the detailed anatomical instruction I received during this “Fundamentals” class at Magu Yoga. Alex is a brilliant teacher and enthusiastically guided us through very specific movements that aligned my posture and allowed my energetic pathways to open. I felt muscle tension releasing and emotional gunk clearing. My limbs were trembling, which I recognized as a sign that my body was letting go of needless tension and my nervous system was unwinding. The precision demanded by this type of class gave my mind something to do other than fret, and the overall reward was body-mind-spirit rejuvenation.

The challenging work of sitting with the discomfort and surrendering attachment is still ahead of me. I’ve cleared any unnecessary tasks from my schedule today to make space for that to happen. The yoga class really paved the way for me to sit quietly and honestly observe what is happening inside. It released the charged sensation of needing to escape as well as the fear of suffocating in the heaviness, which needs to be felt in order for true healing to occur. It created a non-stick surface on which energy can flow rather than stagnating in depression, suppression, or self-pity.

Now it’s time for the main act.

Ready? Set? Sit.

Radical Self-Care, Just Sit

This morning I woke up in a funk. Knowing myself as I do, I recognized that…
Last night I was in charge of navigating my girlfriends and myself to an art opening in center city. I have the most experience with public transit, so I was happy to accept this role. We arrived smoothly, although we did walk farther than anticipated. That was the end of my leadership success.

From the gallery I schlepped us to another neighborhood only to discover that our destination was closed and the alternate shop was a block away from the gallery. Then due to traffic slowing our bus, we missed our train home. I suggested a nearby pub where the slow service caused us to miss the next train and my misreading the schedule caused us to miss the last train of the night. Epic navigation fail!

My friends graciously rolled with the continuously changing plan, and we eventually arrived home, two hours later than expected. Somewhere along the line I noticed myself slipping into self-criticism that easily could have led to a shame spiral. I also noticed my frustration was not mirrored back by my friends. They were just hanging out. Not in the environment we had planned, but not letting that disrupt the opportunity to have an animated conversation.

I grasped this cue and realized that while my plan had indeed failed, that didn’t make me a failure. I got to choose if I would sulk on the extended journey home or to embrace the chance to rally and enjoy the good company available to me. I remembered Louise Hay’s words that to be truly loving, we should never, ever criticize ourselves. And just like that I dropped the self-blame and joined in the laughter.

Radical Self-Care, Gimme a Break!

Last night I was in charge of navigating my girlfriends and myself to an art opening…