Over the past few weeks, four mothers have contacted me to schedule treatments for their teenage children. I couldn’t be more delighted! How wonderful that they have the opportunity to learn the value of listening to and honoring their bodies and emotions at a young age. I feel like I’m inducting them all into a revolutionary counterculture club in which cultivating health includes creating body/mind/spirit balance and freely flowing life-force energy.

I love teaching them that bodywork is much more complex than pushing hard on a tight muscle or rubbing where it hurts. I wish everyone knew this! I’m thrilled to introduce such a radical concept to anyone anytime, but the idea of someone starting off their bodywork experiences knowing this little gem can set them up for amazing results over time.

What’s most exciting is educating them about their autonomy during a session. (Yes, I meant autonomy, not anatomy!) They get to say what they’d like to work on and what they need to be comfortable. They can tell me to avoid anything they don’t like, and I will, even if I think it’s important to the treatment. We might have a chat about it, but they get the final word. They have the power to end the session immediately without needing to explain why. They can say “ouch” or “no” during a massage if they want less pressure or for me to move on to another area.

It occurred to me while discussing this with a young woman that these guidelines apply to people of all ages, but I don’t usually take the time to discuss them with adults. I assume that grown-ups know. But there is a seeming power differential in the treatment room where the professional can be seen as the expert. We’re standing, the client is lying down. We’re fully dressed and they, at the very least, have taken their shoes off. These factors can make it look like we’re in charge.

But we’re not.

The client is always the expert on their needs. Always.

However old you are, I hope you’ll hear me when I say this! You’re the boss of your session. OK, there are limits, and you won’t get a great treatment by micromanaging your therapist. We do have extensive training and many of us years, decades even, of experience. But “no” means no during a session. If your practitioner will not honor that, find one who does. There are plenty of times in life when we are not fully in control of our experiences, but healing treatments should not be one of them.

If you’re a caregiver for a child who needs some support, please contact me to discuss treatment options.