honoring the body

We’re reaching that part of summer when I’m just over it. My resilience for heat and humidity has dwindled and I’m ready for falling leaves and pumpkins. Instead, we have winds that feel rather like standing in front of my blow dryer. 😅

Every morning I go out onto the porch for a sunrise meditation. Lately I feel like I’m entering a swamp when I step outside. At 6am!

Looking on the bright side, there’s no need to hit the sauna. Getting in the sweltering car a few times every day must have some sort of detox effect, right? And going into most stores has got to have benefits similar to a cold plunge, what with the 30 degree temperature differential.

I joke that I now have a 10am curfew. I don’t love being hermetically sealed inside for so much of the day, so I try to get out to the woods early. It’s a few degrees cooler by the creek.

I took a little video to remind me of this little oasis. May it offer you some relief and a touch of nature’s medicine. Imagine yourself being there in person, drinking in the fresh air and cool breeze.

Adapting my routine and bright-side-thinking can only take me so far, though. Let’s be realistic, mint tea and coconut water are refreshing, but they aren’t miracle workers.

Eventually my inner rebel emerges.

“You can’t make me stay inside!”

(It might help to explain that I give my internal voices a descriptive character name and speak of them as separate beings. It’s just a tool for understanding the workings of my mind. It ends up sounding like there’s a full cast in my head. Because there often is! Can you relate?)

Please note, this rebel is the same character who said, “You can’t make me go outside!” when summer began. 😆

She’s just contrary. But the thing about rebelling is… that’s not really freedom. When you’re just doing the opposite, breaking the rules, rocking the boat just to be different, you’re still controlled by the status quo.

Last year about this time, she came out and insisted we absolutely could go for a hike in the 95 degree weather. The hike itself was fine, but afterwards, a whopper of a headache erupted. The end result could hardly to be described as “freedom”.

What I did today was mediate a negotiation. Ignoring, suppressing or overriding the rebel generally fails. At best, it’s energy consuming and not much fun.

Same goes for the inner overprotective mother. She’s the one who’d prefer I remained at a consistent 72 degrees year round. Bah!

So I called upon the inner stern auntie, a role I have perfected in real life with my niece and nephews. I’m fair, but not a softie with them, and this wise, compassionate, mature part of me is best qualified for overseeing arguments between children as well as different aspects of myself.

Rule #1: Everyone has a chance to say their piece.

The rebel wants to go out and it’s past our 😂 10am curfew. Helicopter mom says no, it’s too hot.

Rule #2: We don’t rule things out just because they didn’t work in the past. Instead, we workshop ideas to improve them and plan accordingly.

I’ll spare you the details, but I sorted through options of when and where to go, what to bring, what I could do before and after in order to get a proper walk in the woods without ending up dehydrated and decrepit.

In this way of relating, everyone wins. The parent figure gets to keep us safe, the rebel gets to go out and experience some freedom, the auntie gets to play peacekeeper.

This approach works for all sorts of inner incompatibility. When I find myself resistant to doing the thing I promised myself I would or wouldn’t do, torn between two choices or completely clueless about how to proceed, I invite all the characters to a round table session and discuss how to meet everyone’s needs.

This engenders trust in myself and reduces future resistance and outbursts.

I learned this ages ago as an energetic practice of aligning head, heart and gut. Getting thoughts, emotions and instincts all onboard for decisions and actions. Since then, I’ve drawn on the IFS (Internal Family Systems) model. “No Bad Parts” by Dick Schwartz is a good entry point if you’d like to learn more.

The reason I’m using such a minor issue to demonstrate this technique is because I think it’s important to begin with the easy stuff. Jumping in to the deep end can backfire and cause emotional distress and a rift in self trust.

I’m happy to report that I’m back from the woods, showered, hydrated and feeling ready to meet the rest of the day. I’ve learned something about myself and am more likely to be self-compassionate moving forward as a result.

Whatever your day brings, whatever season you find yourself in, whatever inner turmoil might be brewing, I wish you harmony and peace. I hope these words can help you cultivate it.

Cultivating peace and harmony internally is essential to cultivating holistic health. Hit subscribe and stay connected for more tips and tricks to enjoy optimal wellness.

Type your email…

The Rebel and the Heat Wave

We’re reaching that part of summer when I’m just over it. My resilience for heat and…
If you’ve ever followed someone’s advice for healing an ailment and found yourself disappointed in the results, you aren’t alone.

Lots of people share with me the tricks they use for xyz and often they are things I’ve already tried to no avail.

It’s frustrating.

The thing is, the root of the problem is often hidden. Two people might have frequent headaches, but the same treatment might not be effective for both of them since the causes are different.

If you’re dehydrated and have a headache, a big glass of water can work wonders. You can go on to write a book about water being the miracle healer, yet it will be 100% ineffective for someone with a mold allergy or a tension headache.

No worries, though. Your body knows. There is an innate wisdom within and you can learn to access it. I’m not saying it’s easy, at least not in the beginning, but like any skill, you can hone it with practice.

My suggestion is to be like a cat. They move in ways that feel GOOD! Now, don’t go researching “how to move like a cat”. That’s something I would have done in the past. 🙄

Instead, feel into what movements your body would enjoy. Let pleasure be your guide.

It all starts with an intention to tap in and honor the messages that come from your body. Next, you’ll need to create time and space to listen. Many of us are just running around all day, every day, so that we can’t receive the messages that come through.

Remember the olden days when phones were atttached to the walls of homes? And you had to be at there when the call came through? And then you had to pick it up, at that moment, and listen to the voice on the other side?

It’s a lot like that.

Your body will tell you how it wants to move and rest, what it wants to eat and when, and all sorts of other information- if you pay attention.

But you have to be available to pick up the phone.

Yes, this means forgetting about tons of external rules about how many steps you should take or what your target heart rate is. It might mean shaking things up in your family, workplace, or circle of friends.

But, let’s face it. If you keep on doing what you’re doing, you’ll continue to get what you’ve already got. I’m guessing that if you’re reading this, you’d prefer a different outcome.

Why not go directly to the source of wisdom?

I find Reiki incredibly helpful for increasing my clarity, motivation, and capacity to receive messages from my body. If you want to do the work, it could help you too. Or if you prefer to receive support and let me do the work, that can also help. It’s not the only way by any means. As far as I can tell, it’s the simplest, easiest, and most accessible though.

One of the things I really love about Reiki is that the healing energy sinks beneath the symptoms and addresses the initial imbalance. It might be in the mental, emotional, spiritual, energetic, or circumstantial realm which would have been overlooked by modern medical treatment.

What would your body appreciate today? If it’s Reiki or some gentle bodywork, why not schedule a treatment? Or perhaps you’d like a walk, a bath, some time on your yoga mat, or a nap. Only you know for sure.

Book a session

Healing Isn’t One Size Fits All

If you’ve ever followed someone’s advice for healing an ailment and found yourself disappointed in the…
As soon as I posted my blog on Reiki, the Vagina, and Holistic Healing, a followup began to emerge. That post was pretty lengthy and I decided to keep it readable rather than sharing everything I have to say on the topic. I thought that an exploration of the mental, emotional, and energetic patterns that contribute to lack of wellness in the reproductive and sexual organs would satisfy the assignment Spirit had given me.

Not so.

My new assignment is to cover the nature of our relationships with our bodies. I’m here to suggest that befriending the physical body is a means to creating wellness and accessing inner wisdom and power. Heretical? Maybe! Uncomfortable? Absolutely. Worth the effort? Hell, yes! We cannot be whole (healed) while rejecting any part of ourselves.

Living in the modern western world, we’re taught to identify with our minds, thinking that Logic and Reasoning are the bomb. We’re taught that the physical body and the emotions are messy inconveniences, best avoided until they complain too loudly, and then silenced with any number of harmful behaviors or substances so that we can get back to our planning, thinking, and analyzing.

We expect the body to perform as a vehicle, carrying around our heads with very minimal support. We berate it for needing so much sleep and nourishment, we criticize it for not complying with our wishes to be a certain shape or size, for aging, for aching and eventually breaking down.

As women, we’re taught to compete with insanely impossible Beauty Ideals and to judge our worth in comparison to photoshopped, waif-like, supermodels who have a team of professionals tampering with their natural appearance. Body dysmorphia is common as a result.

It’s quite normal in this day and age to have a very dysfunctional, neglectful, even abusive, relationship with one’s own body! Sadly, the body receives these disparaging messages and responds defensively. It senses danger and activates survival mechanisms that wear it down over time.

Imagine how you would react if someone were constantly yelling at you, complaining about you and lamenting your very being. You’d want to run away, hide, or lash out, right? Self-criticism chronically activates the fight/flight/freeze response and creates a toxic chemical soup that encourages inflammation.

Can you see how such a relationship would ultimately disrupt the flow of life-force energy? Since the vagina, vulva, and reproductive organs are not essential for survival in the face of immediate danger, these areas are among those that are most affected by the disrupted energy flow. If you want to heal yourself, it’s important to look at any habits that cause the body to think it’s in danger (including self-criticism). Then… just stop. Stop berating your body with negative self-talk and then wondering why it’s not healing.

Learning to befriend the body might seem like a radical suggestion if you’ve been treating it as your archenemy for decades. What would it be like to listen to your body’s sensations and learn to respond the same way you would to a friend?

To eat when you’re hungry, and maybe even eat the foods that your body is requesting?

To rest when tired?

To empty your bladder at the first signal rather than waiting till you’re about to burst?

To move in ways that feel good rather than pushing yourself to do vigorous workouts when fatigued?

What if you learned to honor your body as the expert on what it needs, rather than relying on externally imposed dogma?

Let’s go one step further and tune into the vagina (or whichever parts are asking for your attention). I bet there are specific requests about what and what not to be inserting in there. Overriding these requests is the opposite of honoring. At the very least listen and acknowledge her.

Yes, I refer to my vagina as “her” and listen to what she has to say.

I’m not asking you to perform the heroic act of loving your body. That’s master level kung fu. Let’s start with not being a bully. Maybe you can work your way up to compassion eventually. I often repeat the phrase “May I be kind to myself.” as a reminder of my intention to befriend my body.

I can also recommend Dr. Rick Hanson’s book “Hardwiring Happiness” as a source of helpful and very doable techniques for changing habitual thoughts and behavior patterns.

And since I’m a devotee of the Reiki system of healing, of course I believe that it can be a supportive tool to help repair any neglect or abuse that has damaged the body as well as helping to create new healthier habits of listening and honoring.

Because building new neural pathways requires consistent attention, I highly recommend finding a daily practice to support your efforts. If you are interested in learning how to give yourself daily doses of Reiki, I have an online training coming up that’s just the thing.

Learn to give yourself Reiki!

Book Now!

Reiki, the Vagina and Holistic Healing: Befriending the Body

As soon as I posted my blog on Reiki, the Vagina, and Holistic Healing, a followup…
Creating balance seems to be the key to healing. I aim for an 80% clean diet rather than restricting all foods that are less than ideal for me. I allow myself to enjoy some mindless, recreational screen viewing every week and make space each day for downtime. It’s important to make compromises and remain flexible.

So when given the opportunity to attend a Yoga Dance class with live drumming while visiting Kripalu, I couldn’t resist! Dancing is an expression of the joy in my heart. Certain music tends to move through me, using my body as a vehicle. I feel especially alive when my body is dancing; like a spring flower bursting through the snow.

Given the torn meniscus in my knee and my self-prescription for holistic therapy which includes lots of rest, I struggled with this decision. In the end, my heart won out. I realized that the joy to be gained was greater than the risk of set back. So I took it nice and easy and rested when I felt the first twinge of discomfort.

The next three days I was again presented with this opportunity to dance. Each afternoon I checked in with my body to see what was in my best interest. Each day I heard a “no”, loud and clear. While this was indeed disappointing, I chose to honor my inner voice.

If I had listened to my rational voice, I wouldn’t have danced at all. If I had listened to the ego, the voice demanding more More MORE! I would have taken all the classes. (And likely have re-injured myself.) Instead I tapped into my higher knowing, the voice of Spirit sometimes called the still, small voice within. It guided me to the path of balance and harmony. It always does.

All I need do is listen.

Healer, Heal Thyself: Balance

Creating balance seems to be the key to healing. I aim for an 80% clean diet…
I’m super-psyched to announce that Luminous Heart Reiki has found a home in Philadelphia. Next week I will begin offering treatments and classes on a regular basis. While this is a dream come true, on the practical side, things are getting rather hectic. Just a few weeks ago I took on part-time work at a nearby spa to provide the financial stability necessary to pursue building a private Reiki practice. Now I have two PT jobs and a new business, all of which demand attention.

As I will be doing more massage than I have in years and spending hours in front of the computer launching a new business, it’s absolutely necessary to step-up my self-care program. I need to better manage my dwindling free time and maximize my ki/chi/qi/prana and overall wellness. I’ve decided to commit to a 40 day radical self-care adventure. I’ve read that it takes 40 consecutive days of practice to create a new habit, so I’m going to spend that time exploring a variety of options to refine my daily routine.

Today is Day 1. It’s also the day I signed a lease for my new office space, so it seems like the perfect day to begin. And my revolutionary self-care act for today, was to NOT go for a hike. That’s right! I skipped it altogether. The last two times I hiked in the woods, I felt a sharp pain in my ankle on the return trip. As much as it feeds my soul to meditate by the creek in the morning, I chose to stay home. I opted to rest and simply hold my ankle between my hands and flood it with healing Reiki energy.

So that’s it for Day 1. I tuned in and honored my body where it was at and sat on my butt for an entire 15 minutes! Sometimes less is more. And I’m truly grateful to begin this voyage with a lesson in being rather than doing. Stay tuned for more exploration into the world of self-care. I can’t be sure that I’ll be posting everyday as I want to remain in the flow of what I need in every moment, but I will indeed report back faithfully.

Buckle Up! Radical Self-Care, Less is More

I’m super-psyched to announce that Luminous Heart Reiki has found a home in Philadelphia. Next week…
I’m really focusing on the somewhat radical belief that pain is a message, from our bodies or our spirits, indicating that something needs our attention. When we acknowledge it as such, and receive the message we can then make the appropriate adjustments. This acceptance and taking of responsibility may or may not result in the lessening or elimination of the pain, but will absolutely promote a deeper healing from within.

I’ve been working with a client who’s recovering from an auto accident. She has both good days and bad days. On the days when she’s feeling pain, she will often take a muscle relaxer. Then she says she feels better and can do the things she wants to do. Of course, there’s nothing wrong with that. However, then she perceives a false sense of strength and well-being and tends to overdo. She thinks she’s feeling better, but actually she’s just feeling less. She’s missing out on the message from her body to rest or slow down or take it easy. Then that sets off a whole other chain of events as her recovery is set back by harmful activity.

Over the course of the 60 minutes we spend together, she’s starting to see that overriding her body’s request to have down time for healing is actually creating a longer period of recuperation. She’s recognizing that forcing her agenda of returning to her former state of athleticism before her muscles and nervous system are ready is causing her to feel worse in the long run. She’s coming to the awareness that the pain she experiences is an important message.

By no means am I suggesting that she stop taking the meds. Really that’s her decision and it’s not for me to know whether or not they are helpful. What I’m suggesting is that if she chooses to take them, to remember that she may have shot the messenger, but that doesn’t make the message itself any less important. As she learns to honor the input her body is readily sharing, I have no doubt that her healing will progress much more quickly. She can choose to feel less AND honor her body’s request. It’s just a matter of being mindful.

Pain as a Messenger

I’m really focusing on the somewhat radical belief that pain is a message, from our bodies…