letting go

  • A quick update on my Slowing Down for December intention. The universe heard my request and has responded with half of my clients cancelling appointments this week and last. It’s a good opportunity to let go of the ancient fear of not having enough, to re-examine the wisdom of the “careful what you wish for” maxim, and to renew faith that things always work out, often in unexpected ways.

    For the greater part of my days, I’m camped out of my Bio-Mat, surrounded by a stack of books that I’ve wanted to read for ages, a cup of tea, my journal, and an array of colorful markers. There’s something about having a beautiful notebook and great pens that makes the task of inner exploration seem less daunting. As do my comfy pajamas- it’s hard to take things too seriously when you’re covered in lemons and wearing your favorite fuzzy socks. 🙂

    I do have some structure provided by guided meditations and written exercises designed to help me uncover what’s beneath the surface identities that I present to the world. The process of letting go of attachments and conditioned beliefs can be unpleasant, and I have a circle of friends with whom I check in frequently. It’s helpful to hear that they are facing many of the same challenges, and like me, continue to show up and face whatever arises, nonetheless.

    Curiously some physical discomfort has amplified-or is it that I’ve removed enough distractions that I can actually receive the messages my body is sending? I’ve pulled out some massage tools to apply gentle pressure andstimulate circulation. (This is key! The goal is not to punish muscles for misbehaving or to beat them into submission, but to give them some loving attention and bring awareness to postural and movement patterns. More on this in an upcoming post.)

    I ventured out to the farmers market for some produce and have been getting out most days for walks, so I’m not entirely reclusive aside from work. The goal has really been to clear my schedule so I can tune into my needs and desires with minimal influence from those insidious “shoulds”. As it turns out, I prefer books and trees to small talk, media of all forms, and shopping. No surprises there!

    Basically, I’m playing detective and discovering what I can let go of and what I can cultivate in order to move into the new year in the most authentic way. Being present with emotions and sensations seems to be the only way to get an accurate reading on what to keep and what to release. Being still and quiet supports the inquiry.

    We’re really in the darkest of days here in the northern hemisphere as the moon wanes and the winter solstice approaches. It’s really no hardship to stay tucked inside my cozy little apartment as much as possible. While it’s not exactly easy either, I am grateful that I decided to give myself this gift of doing things my way. It’s my hope that you’ll lean into doing things your way too.

    How Slow Can I Go?

    A quick update on my Slowing Down for December intention. The universe heard my request and…

  • Once again, nature is slowing down during these short winter days. Most of the plants are stripped back to the bare minimum and many animals are hunkered down in their dens. I feel the same impulse to stay at home and do less. When I do venture out, I’m moving slowly and intentionally. 

    I’ve cleared my calendar of all extraneous events. Easier said than done, I know! I’m also looking at my daily rituals and habits and wondering which can be paused for now. At first glance, everything seems essential, but I know that’s not entirely true. Which of these tasks are fueled by “shoulds”, such as what society informs me is necessary or from my own ego, clinging to an identity that may no longer be valid?

    Over the next few weeks, I’ll be wiping the slate clean. Letting go of who I think I should be, who I think I am, and who I am expected to be in order to allow the truth to emerge without the imprint of conditioning. The activities I engage in will be flavored with this sense of inquiry and intention of releasing old patterns. For example, this post is still being written (obviously!), and aligns with December’s exploration and my desire to share the processes that support me. 

    (I’m fascinated by how much of life can fall into the “both this and that“ category when I let go of “either this or that“ thinking.)

    While I do still have responsibilities to meet and bills to pay, I’ve created a spaciousness that will allow me to slow down. The goal is to be more present with what arises in each moment in order to be more mindful of my inner landscape. Ideally, this awareness will help me let go of all the embedded beliefs that prevent me from experiencing and expressing my essential self. 

    I imagine a backpack that contains all the beliefs I hold about the world. Some of these concepts were dropped in before I had the capacity to object and others snuck past my defenses when I wasn’t paying attention. It’s my hope to empty this backpack, examine those beliefs, many of which I’ve been carrying around since the 70’s, and carefully choose which to keep and which to discard. Ideally, I will be more discerning moving forward, and only collect items that align with my desires and values. 

    I’m very much looking forward to lightening my load!

    If you have access to Reiki, it can be a helpful tool for analyzing your belief system. I find that activating Reiki when I’m doing any sort of introspection helps me remain in the present moment, focused on the task at hand, without getting too caught up in memories or projection. 

    Reiki also helps me calm my nervous system, reduce the impulses to run away from the discomfort, and accept myself just as I am, 40-year-old baggage and all. My go-to technique is to turn on the flow of healing energy, place one hand on my heart and the other on my belly, and state my intention. I do this at the beginning of my process and whenever I feel the urge to do the laundry, check my emails, or any the other distracting/avoiding/numbing strategies that are so familiar. I return to this hand position and my intention, allowing the Reiki to help me find my center again, as often as necessary. 

    Is there just one thing you can let go of this month that is no longer serving you? I’m choosing to stick firmly to my work schedule and stop making minor adjustments to accommodate clients. There are parts of me that feel afraid that this will affect my income, but I have trust that the clients who are meant to work with me will adapt, and those who aren’t will move on, making space for new ones who are more compatible. 

    I did such a good job of letting something go last year that I can’t even remember what it was! Several years ago, I stopped rushing. That’s one goal that I can recommend wholeheartedly. I allowed more time in between appointments, especially if traveling was involved. I also stopped filling up every last moment with some sort of activity. Now, when I find myself with five minutes until my next client arrives, I take the opportunity to sit quietly and meditate rather than the trying to squeeze in a chore. It’s been great for cultivating a calm feeling within me. 

    I’d love to hear how you’re slowing down. Maybe next month we can truly claim to be moving like molasses in January. 

    Slowing Down for December

    Once again, nature is slowing down during these short winter days. Most of the plants are…

  • This morning a lady arrived for her weekly massage and announced, “Time for my meltdown!” I was surprised at first, because generally speaking a meltdown is a traumatic and dramatic event. Then it hit me- she was referring to the feeling of melting from the inside out. I couldn’t help but to smile at this beautiful concept. Meltdown = rubdown + enhanced inner peace. What a lovely way to describe the work I enjoy doing!

    Yesterday, I gave a Reiki/massage combo to a sweet young lady who was having a stressful day. I started off with some balancing Reiki to move any stuck energy out of her mind and body, and could feel her sink deeply into the treatment. Afterwards she told me that she had been worried about having a breakdown on the table. While this is not uncommon during bodywork as emotions often get stirred up and pushed to the surface for release, it is often uncomfortable for clients who are shy about expressing heavy emotions or crying in front of others. She confided in me that instead of a breakdown, she had been able to release all the gunk she had been holding onto without the tears or upset. She instead had a meltdown!

    When it comes to stress, the psyche runs the show, but the body pays the price. We get worn down by incessantly thinking that there’s never enough time to do what we need to do, that we’re running in place, that we always need to be on guard. These feelings weaken our energy flow, making our immune systems vulnerable, and creating an opening for illness. Gentle, nurturing touch and energy healing helps people let go of the thoughts and emotions that are the true source of most of the discomfort and pain in the body. Creating a safe, compassionate space for people to relax and restore is a surefire way to enhance health and well-being. How lucky am I that I get to be a facilitator of this beautiful process!?!?

    Time for My Meltdown

    This morning a lady arrived for her weekly massage and announced, “Time for my meltdown!” I…