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self-acceptance

  • I talk about self-care a lot. A LOT! It’s an important part of my wellness and healthy aging plans and my career. It’s become increasingly popular over the years and social media is full of prescriptions for all the things you should be doing (and buying!) to practice self-care.

    I’m here to propose that “should” be removed entirely from the conversation. What if self-care practices aren’t something that you do because external experts have advised you to?

    What if, instead, it’s a simple practice of checking in with yourself frequently? Asking yourself three simple questions (curtesy of Kristy Arbon’s Somatic Self-Compassion work) that can help you get in touch with your inner landscape and allow your decisions to emerge from there? How do I feel? What do I need? What can I do?

    What if we learned to care for ourselves the same way we would a three-year old?

    Are you hungry? Let’s have a snack. What would you like? Can we find a reasonable compromise that will satisfy desires without causing harm? Can we plan to keep some healthy and convenient options on hand for the future?

    Tired? Can we take a minute to stretch or move or just close our eyes and regroup? Can we do some restorative yoga at lunch and cancel any non-essential plans this weekend to enjoy some downtime?

    We wouldn’t give a child a list of 20 items that have been prescribed by a self-care guru as daily requirements! Let’s not impose such rigidity on ourselves in the name of wellness. Instead, might we choose to let go of the dogma and let self-care be a practice of caring for ourselves, our needs, our bodies, and our feelings with kindness and compassion?

    A revolution like this just doesn’t happen spontaneously. We need to make it a priority. Make ourselves a priority. What if my feelings matter? What if my comfort matters? What if I actually matter? How would I approach my day?

    Likely some forethought will be helpful. If I have an energy crash every day at 2:00 that compels me to reach for artificial energy, I could research ways to prevent the crash or healthier ways to navigate it. It is beneficial to tuck some tricks up your sleeve in advance. But rather than bending over backwards to do the tricks just for the sake of checking off a box, see what tricks are going to fulfill your current needs. Let the tricks work for you!

    What if self-care is actually a lifestyle based on self-inquiry, self-acceptance and self-compassion rather than more tasks to perform? Let’s find out!

    Redefining “Self-Care”

    I talk about self-care a lot. A LOT! It’s an important part of my wellness and…

  • I’ve come to notice that when I deliberately choose to do something that I know is not in alignment with my values, the consequences are harsher for me than if someone else engages in that same behavior, but without the knowingnes. The difference, it seems, is that not only am I absorbing negativity or toxins from the action, but I am a separating my mind and body from my spirit. It is this splintering that is the most damaging to our well-being.

    Reiki, and especially my daily self-treatments, helps guide me to my highest good. It opens me up to receive messages about how to  achieve my goals. Quite often I get a message during my meditation that a certain habit or behavior is blocking my progress.  The most recent example was when several months ago I realized that my morning mug of black tea with agave nectar and almond milk was interfering with my energy field. Well, I was quite attached to the ritual of my morning cup of tea! I carried on, despite the intuitive guidance. Nothing drastic happened; there was no illness or catastrophe that resulted from my impudence. Yet each sip was infused with a hint of guilt because I knew I wasn’t making the decision to pursue my highest good. So now, not only did I have the original deed on my conscience, but the added weight of self-criticism. I believe it was the latter that was more injurious than the former.

    Eventually I decided that enough was enough. I wasn’t yet ready to forgo the habit, but I chose to love and accept myself while enjoying my tea. And do you know what? A short week later, I really had no interest in having it anymore. It was easy to replace my morning drink with a cleansing cup of warm lemon water. I had no cravings or withdrawal pains. It truly was miraculous. I brought my mind, body, and spirit back into alignment where they all began working together to support my highest good. Now that I am caffeine-free, I am noticing better quality sleep and more energy throughout the day even though I am naturally waking up earlier. My intuition knew that by letting  go of this seemingly harmless habit that I could accomplish more of what was really important to me. Giving up the judgement and guilt was the key to creating a healthy energy flow and the subsequent ease of making the shift.

    Negative thoughts and feelings block our ki (life force energy) as well as our internal guidance. Our spirits know that we are perfect, whole, and complete just the way we are. When we behave in ways that deny this truth, it interrupts the flow of energy that keeps us healthy and vibrant. Simply being kind to ourselves, no matter what our current choices are, creates a shield of dignity that enhances our well-being and motivates us to be truer to ourselves. It might seem ironic, but self-acceptance truly seems to be the magic that produces transformation.

     

     

     

     

     

    Knowing better

    I’ve come to notice that when I deliberately choose to do something that I know is…