I met a client this week who shared after her session that she was surprised that I didn’t painfully dig in to her muscles. (She came to me by way of a gift certificate and hadn’t seen my website where I very clearly state that my style of bodywork is NOT painful.)
It gave me the opportunity to address what I believe is a very common myth that pushing really hard on sore muscles is the way to create relief. In my experience, this is absolutely not true! At least for me and the thousands of people I’ve worked with.
What happens when the body feels pain? It tenses. How does that help? It doesn’t.
And when someone is experiencing chronic pain, their muscles are already tense and their nervous system set to hyper-protection mode. Even the hint of pain activates an instinct to fight or flee. How does that help? It doesn’t!
Instead, I find that a soothing, gentle approach allows the nervous system to calm and the muscles to melt. I meet the painful areas with a curious and compassionate attention: “Hello, I see you there, what can I do for you?” Rather than an attack: “Bad muscle, I’ll pummel you into submission!”
I don’t know where where this “no pain, no gain” mentality comes from in the massage realm, but it saddens me that people think that they need to suffer to experience relief. Or worse yet, that because they are unwilling to suffer, bodywork is not for them.
There are tons of deep tissue therapists out there who want to jab an elbow into your achy spots. If that’s your thing, you’ll have no problem finding someone to hurt you. But it isn’t me.
If you are pain averse and want your session to be enjoyable while leaving you feeling relaxed and gooey, that’s my wheelhouse.
Working with the nervous system, musculoskeletal system, endocrine system, emotional and energetic bodies is a lot more nuanced and effective than pushing hard on a sore spot.
It doesn’t mean a feather-light touch, either, just in case that’s a concern. It means meeting the tissue as it is, sinking in as far as it allows, and responding when it says stop.
It’s a technique that respects the body and its innate wisdom rather than trying to force an arbitrary solution from the outside.
If you’re in the Philly area, I’m here to be of service. If you live elsewhere, don’t be afraid to inquire with the provider before you book a session. Any respectable therapist will be able to answer your questions and confirm if they are able to offer a pain-free experience.

