women’s health

  • As soon as I posted my blog on Reiki, the Vagina, and Holistic Healing, a followup began to emerge. That post was pretty lengthy and I decided to keep it readable rather than sharing everything I have to say on the topic. I thought that an exploration of the mental, emotional, and energetic patterns that contribute to lack of wellness in the reproductive and sexual organs would satisfy the assignment Spirit had given me.

    Not so.

    My new assignment is to cover the nature of our relationships with our bodies. I’m here to suggest that befriending the physical body is a means to creating wellness and accessing inner wisdom and power. Heretical? Maybe! Uncomfortable? Absolutely. Worth the effort? Hell, yes! We cannot be whole (healed) while rejecting any part of ourselves.

    Living in the modern western world, we’re taught to identify with our minds, thinking that Logic and Reasoning are the bomb. We’re taught that the physical body and the emotions are messy inconveniences, best avoided until they complain too loudly, and then silenced with any number of harmful behaviors or substances so that we can get back to our planning, thinking, and analyzing.

    We expect the body to perform as a vehicle, carrying around our heads with very minimal support. We berate it for needing so much sleep and nourishment, we criticize it for not complying with our wishes to be a certain shape or size, for aging, for aching and eventually breaking down.

    As women, we’re taught to compete with insanely impossible Beauty Ideals and to judge our worth in comparison to photoshopped, waif-like, supermodels who have a team of professionals tampering with their natural appearance. Body dysmorphia is common as a result.

    It’s quite normal in this day and age to have a very dysfunctional, neglectful, even abusive, relationship with one’s own body! Sadly, the body receives these disparaging messages and responds defensively. It senses danger and activates survival mechanisms that wear it down over time.

    Imagine how you would react if someone were constantly yelling at you, complaining about you and lamenting your very being. You’d want to run away, hide, or lash out, right? Self-criticism chronically activates the fight/flight/freeze response and creates a toxic chemical soup that encourages inflammation.

    Can you see how such a relationship would ultimately disrupt the flow of life-force energy? Since the vagina, vulva, and reproductive organs are not essential for survival in the face of immediate danger, these areas are among those that are most affected by the disrupted energy flow. If you want to heal yourself, it’s important to look at any habits that cause the body to think it’s in danger (including self-criticism). Then… just stop. Stop berating your body with negative self-talk and then wondering why it’s not healing.

    Learning to befriend the body might seem like a radical suggestion if you’ve been treating it as your archenemy for decades. What would it be like to listen to your body’s sensations and learn to respond the same way you would to a friend?

    To eat when you’re hungry, and maybe even eat the foods that your body is requesting?

    To rest when tired?

    To empty your bladder at the first signal rather than waiting till you’re about to burst?

    To move in ways that feel good rather than pushing yourself to do vigorous workouts when fatigued?

    What if you learned to honor your body as the expert on what it needs, rather than relying on externally imposed dogma?

    Let’s go one step further and tune into the vagina (or whichever parts are asking for your attention). I bet there are specific requests about what and what not to be inserting in there. Overriding these requests is the opposite of honoring. At the very least listen and acknowledge her.

    Yes, I refer to my vagina as “her” and listen to what she has to say.

    I’m not asking you to perform the heroic act of loving your body. That’s master level kung fu. Let’s start with not being a bully. Maybe you can work your way up to compassion eventually. I often repeat the phrase “May I be kind to myself.” as a reminder of my intention to befriend my body.

    I can also recommend Dr. Rick Hanson’s book “Hardwiring Happiness” as a source of helpful and very doable techniques for changing habitual thoughts and behavior patterns.

    And since I’m a devotee of the Reiki system of healing, of course I believe that it can be a supportive tool to help repair any neglect or abuse that has damaged the body as well as helping to create new healthier habits of listening and honoring.

    Because building new neural pathways requires consistent attention, I highly recommend finding a daily practice to support your efforts. If you are interested in learning how to give yourself daily doses of Reiki, I have an online training coming up that’s just the thing.

    Reiki, the Vagina and Holistic Healing: Befriending the Body

    As soon as I posted my blog on Reiki, the Vagina, and Holistic Healing, a followup…

  • Once again, I’m noticing a trend in women seeking Reiki for sexual and reproductive issues. I thought it would be helpful for me to explain how this healing modality can help with the wide variety of challenges that are being faced by so many of us.

    Reiki is spiritually guided life- force energy. It can saturate an area with healing energy, providing the necessary boost for the body to do its natural healing work and reverse the effects of stress and overwhelm. Reiki restores the natural energy flow through all physiological systems and revitalizes internal balance. In doing so, it highlights unconscious, limiting beliefs and any suppressed emotions which might be interfering with the organic flow of energy. Perhaps most importantly, it connects us with our highest self, or soul, and reminds us that we are powerful, sovereign beings living in these human bodies.

    What’s really great about Reiki is how adaptable it is to individual needs. Given that the vagina, sexuality, and reproduction can be sensitive topics, you might like to know that Reiki can benefit you without disclosing any details you don’t feel comfortable talking about. Reiki sessions are received fully clothed and the genitals are easily treated without touch.

    In fact, if you prefer, the entire treatment can be offered without touch. You could remain seated across the room from a provider and receive a full treatment that way. You could even remain at home, in the comfort and privacy of your own space, and the practitioner can connect with you remotely. You could also take a Reiki class and within a few hours learn how to give yourself treatments.

    There are lots of options, and none of them are invasive. There need not be any discomfort or embarrassment. If you’d prefer not to even name the specific reason for your visit, you could simply say your intention is for your highest good. In the holistic realm, that includes the entire body and all of its functions as well as the connected beliefs, postural patterns, and emotions.

    Let me be clear. This is not a magic pill. Long-standing problems often take time and consistent treatment to resolve. Learning to treat yourself is simple and easy, and by far the most affordable route. For those uninterested in the DIY approach, consider scheduling a session once or twice per month and committing to this routine.

    Let’s have a look at the underlying causes of the vast majority of issues that I see while helping women heal their vaginal issues. The are two primary culprits that I’d like to discuss: unconscious beliefs and suppressed emotions.

    Our society sends us conflicting messages about sexuality and women’s bodies. At a very young age, we become conditioned (both overtly and covertly) into the surrounding belief system of our culture, family, religion, educational system, and consumer markets via the advertising industry. As young girls, we are already laden with messages about our bodies, genitals, and roles as female beings. We absorb these messages before we are old enough to question their truth and then continue operating from that foundation until we actively investigate and reprogram ourselves.

    We might have thoughts running beneath the surface of our awareness about virtue, chastity, and propriety that run contrary to biological urges and organic desires. Until this conflict is brought to the surface, the disharmony may be stored in the vagina, disrupting the flow of life-force energy, and creating an opening for maladies.

    What about the emotions that we carry about our vagina and vulva, sex and pleasure, menstruation, and reproductive issues? Feelings such as shame, disgust, confusion, aversion, and fear. They are stored in this area of the body until we allow ourselves to feel and integrate the energy.

    It’s probably obvious that any non-consensual experiences and the resulting pain, shame, anger, or grief would be stored in the delicate tissue of the vagina. Given the number of women who have confided in me about unwanted sexual experiences that were never reported, I suspect the statistics that claim 1 in 3 women have experienced some sort of abuse is vastly underreported. This is a global tragedy. Many of these women don’t receive any support or treatment for a number of reasons and continue to carry the emotional and energetic scars.

    What about those of us who didn’t say “no” but our bodies or our hearts didn’t say “yes”? Perhaps we didn’t have a choice because of a power differential or because we were doing the best we could to get our needs met in the only way we knew how. Perhaps we were going along to get along, or trying to be loved and accepted. These events also left an imprint on our psyches and bodies.

    What about the times when we were a wholehearted YES! and the experience was disappointing or otherwise upsetting? Or we felt guilt or ashamed about our desire or pleasure because of that BS cultural conditioning installed during childhood? What if our advances were rejected? All of this was imprinted.

    For those of us lucky enough to have only had positive experiences, a sex- positive upbringing, and a healthy body image (Please introduce yourself! I imagine you exist out there somewhere), every sexual experience has left some residue, which will have accumulated over time. This collection of foreign energies can also interfere with the flow of life-force.

    Let’s not forget tampons and other hygiene products and our thoughts and feeling towards menstruation and any shame or embarrassment in that arena. Or insensitive medical providers, invasive procedures, and cold speculums inserted without proper care or warning.

    And finally, childbirths that happened naturally or by unexpected intervention, with difficulty or as planned, or didn’t happen at all.

    Damn! It’s not easy having a vagina. Any one of these occurrences could easily lead to emotional shut-down, destructive coping strategies, loss of a sense of safety or agency, disconnection from desire, pleasure, or the physical body itself. Symptoms range from recurring infections, discomfort, pain, intimacy issues, and disease.

    And all of this can be treated with Reiki. Your experiences may be affecting your current mental, emotional, and physical health but they have not, CANNOT, diminish your essence. It may have been covered up or shoved into a deep, dark closet, but your sexuality, sexual energy, and sexual power is yours to reclaim should you wish to.

    It’s not easy work to do the deep healing that provides the results many us of desire. It’s advisable to have some emotional support scaffolding prearranged (a therapist, counselor, group therapy, advisor, trusted and nonjudgmental BFF) before beginning such a journey if you’ve experienced abuse of any kind. I believe that spiritual practice (some way of connecting to the divine within yourself) is also helpful, but if that’s not your thing, no worries. It’s not a requirement.

    Be willing to learn to be kind to yourself, to accept yourself and your feelings and needs while restoring the flow of life-force energy is non-negotiable. And Reiki can help with that too. I’d be happy to have a 10 minute conversation to help you decide if working with me is a good match for your needs. If you’re ready to jump in, you can go ahead and schedule an in-person Reiki session in Philadelphia, a remote session wherever you are, or join the mailing list to be informed about upcoming events and classes.

    Most importantly, know that you are not alone. I’m in several peer groups in addition to my work as a Reiki teacher and provider, and I’ve met very few women without at least one upsetting story to tell. It need not define you and it is possible to integrate the energy of any and all experiences and reclaim wholeness.

    Reiki, the Vagina, and Holistic Healing

    Once again, I’m noticing a trend in women seeking Reiki for sexual and reproductive issues. I…