awareness

“You’re Teaching Me to be Kind to Myself.”

A client said this to me during a massage treatment a few weeks ago. The concept of treating our bodies with kindness is somewhat uncommon in our culture of harder/ faster/ deeper/ push-through it mentality. In this particular case, I was working on an inflamed tendon that had been causing quite a bit of pain for over a month and interfering with her quality of life. I was using gentle pressure to soothe and comfort the entire area to encourage circulation and the release of muscular tension.

She had been braced for a painful session and was quite surprised at the results she experienced from my gentle approach. During the treatment she noticed how various body parts connected to one another and then began to see a bigger picture. While it is true that one particular tendon was inflamed due to overwork and a moment of excess strain place on it, all the surrounding muscle groups had been recruited to assist and protect the injury. Tension spread out from the source and had enveloped the entire quadrant. As relaxation settled in and muscles began to release, she could feel the internal structure settle into a more neutral position and breathed a sigh of relief.

When she returned two weeks later for a follow up treatment, she reported much less pain, more ease of movement, and a greater sense of harmony in her body. The persistent pain had been downgraded to a dull ache and the surrounding muscles were no longer locked in defensive contraction. Again I worked gently; this time spending a greater portion of the session integrating the limb with the torso while explaining how the whole body works as a team. She became intrigued with the idea of this one small tendon affecting distant areas and realized how she had adapted posture as well as movement to accommodate the injury.

She left that day encouraged to be more aware of her body mechanics and overall attitude towards her body. Introducing clients to the transformative belief that treating ourselves and our bodies with kindness produces lasting and deep effects is perhaps the most helpful input I have to offer as a bodyworker. I could explain this in terms of the nervous system triggering the fight-or-flight reflex vs the relaxation response and get into the biological effects of an aggressive approach vs a more gentle on; yet I think that deep down we can all intuitively grasp this concept. Be kind to your body; and it will respond by letting go of stress and pain.

You’re Teaching Me to be Kind to Myself

“You’re Teaching Me to be Kind to Myself.” A client said this to me during a…
Political unrest and emotional upset are growing daily. We seem to have entered an alternate reality in which confusion rules. Anger, fear, and hatred seem to be increasing exponentially. It is a challenging time for us all. My personal challenge is to become a warrior of truth while standing within my values. Without kindness and integrity, I have nothing to offer. Without courage and conviction, I risk loosing the freedom to express myself. In a sense, I have been training my entire adult life for this opportunity to be fiercely loving.

I struggled with joining the resistance. In yoga we learn “what you resist, persists” and the law of cause and effect teaches that we attract that which we fuel by our attention. How can I participate in an effort that would only enhance the negativity I see growing? Yet I am unable to remain silent and watch as justice becomes an obscure memory of a long neglected democracy.

I realized that standing for my beliefs of freedom, equality, diversity, and fairness is completely different that fighting against a man, an executive order, or a threat of tyranny. Speaking up for the civil rights of my fellow citizens activates the energies of synchronicity to support the efforts of preserving justice. It is possible to amplify the power of change by keeping my focus on love rather than fear.

While it is true that I wish the popular movement had chosen different language than “resist” and “protest”, I am able to get beyond these labels and see the heart of the matter. I see people waking up and getting involved in their own unique and creative methods. I see brave souls taking action and joining together to protect one another and this planet we call home. I see the necessity of getting involved, knowing I could not live with myself if I sat on my meditation cushion as the country I love falls into ever-deepening despair.

I see clearly that I am able to contribute my voice and participate in a way that is aligned with my truth. We each bring our own individual offerings to the whole, and together we create a synergy that could not be accomplished without each and every member. Every instrument is invaluable to the symphony. It matters not if you play the violin, the trumpet, or the triangle. It matters only that you show up and play.

United We Stand

Political unrest and emotional upset are growing daily. We seem to have entered an alternate reality…
Over the years of practicing mindfulness, I’ve come to recognize the warning bells of my mind whirling uncontrollably. It’s a sign that I need to stop everything and Just Be. Just for a few minutes, until I get realigned with my peaceful, harmonious nature. Otherwise I’m prone to accidents, mistakes, and attracting unpleasant people and situations.

Been there, done that. No need to repeat those lessons, thank you very much!

So I forced myself to sit on the couch for five full minutes and sip a cup of tea before I left for work. Man, was it uncomfortable!

I didn’t respond to a potential student’s inquiry about studying Reiki considering her religious beliefs. I didn’t craft an email to another student who wishes to apprentice with me about forming a student clinic. Both are exciting projects and dear to my heart. They can wait, however, till I’m more centered and grounded.

I took several deep breaths and a sip of my tea. I ignored the dust in my bedroom that is such a nuisance and soooo not a priority. I fought the urge to make a shopping list to prepare for the lunch I will serve my parents in a few days when they visit or a list about what to pack for an upcoming trip.

A few more breaths and several sips later and I felt my shoulders relax. I did not engage in calculating the edits I need to make for the article I’m writing for my neighborhood food co-op or to my website. I absolutely did not allow myself to second guess my decision to go out to dinner and the theater last night for some much needed fun that kept me out late. And I certainly didn’t make notes about this blog and the ideas I wanted to share here.

I just sat there, drinking my tea, and focusing on my breath. It didn’t matter that I had already meditated, practiced yoga, and flooded myself with Reiki healing energy. I needed an emergency intervention to keep myself from spinning out into an anxious mess.

All of the above tasks are important to me and clearly need to be accomplished in the very near future. Except for the dusting. Seriously, I can’t seem to give a hoot about that! Yet none of them are more important than my peace of mind or well-being. So forcing myself to be still was a valuable remedy.

It was mental torture for about 4 1/2 minutes. Then I was able to sink in and let go and the last 30 seconds got me ready to face the world. I’m feeling much more like myself and prepared to give my clients excellent service. I’d say that was five minutes well invested! Knowing that the rewards will ripple out and benefit everyone who crosses my path makes me doubly sure that this is true.

Don’t Just Do Something- Sit There!

Over the years of practicing mindfulness, I’ve come to recognize the warning bells of my mind…
This morning I awoke with a dull headache. I didn’t pay it much attention till this afternoon when it started to grow stronger. As a practitioner of the healing arts, I recognize that pain is often a signal from the body to slow down and rest. I decided to heed my own advice and take better care of myself.

I cancelled my plans for the rest of the day so I could take a nap and maybe watch a movie. I applied an aromatherapy remedy to my feet, made a cup of tea, turned off my computer, and sat on the couch. Within minutes the headache started to dissipate.

Now that I have a moment to reflect, I realize I have neglected my rule of keeping one day each week free from all work. Starting my own business brings a seemingly never ending to-do list and lately I’ve been spreading it out so that no one particular day is overflowing. It made sense at the time, but I haven’t had a proper day of rest in many weeks. Luckily my body spoke up!

Viewing symptoms as messages allows me to fine tune my habits and lifestyle to maximize my wellbeing. I’ve learned to decode the minor ailments that pop up and address the imbalances that created a need for such red flags. For me, headaches are a warning signal that I’m going too fast, or working too hard.

Even though I’ve been on top of my self-care routine of yoga, meditation, Reiki self-treatments, and natural foods; I haven’t given myself the downtime that I need to feel my best. I’ve been doing everything right except for doing nothing at all. So here’s to the blessing of a simple headache that guided me to clear my schedule and spend a few hours doing absolutely nothing that looks productive. And to knowing on the inside that being kind to myself is actually the most productive act I can ever take.

Now if you’ll please excuse me, I’ve got a whole lot of nothing that needs my attention!

Slow Down!

This morning I awoke with a dull headache. I didn’t pay it much attention till this…
Lately I’ve been attempting to talk to my clients about doing less. Ironically, I seem to be triggering the fight or flight reflex when I suggest resting or doing activities to calm their frazzled nerves. The more I learn about stress, the more certain I am that is the root of much of the pain and discomfort I see in my practice. Yet the mere mention of managing stress or making lifestyle changes to subvert inflammation (a symptom of stress) seems to create more of it!

The inner-detective in me is now on the job. Solving this mystery could benefit most of us. I don’t have the answers yet, but here are some of the questions I’m asking. I’m keeping the inquiry personal, because I can’t answer for anyone else. But I do believe it could be expanded to include any other curious seekers. After all, we share the same basic needs.
- What would happen if I did less and allowed myself to “just be” more often?
- Who would I be without my to-do list, my accomplishments, or my aspirations?
- Why am I so resistant to slowing down?
- What am I worried about feeling/sensing/thinking if I do slow down?
- What if I have created my circumstances by thinking that if I do more, I’m a better person?
- What if my constant striving has led to an unhealthy adrenaline-fueled lifestyle?
- What if my thinking created the lifestyle, which created the stress, that created the inflammation, that created the pain I experience on a daily basis?
- Why would I want to continue thinking in the same ways that lead to suffering?
- Why would I resist retraining my mind to think in newer, healthier ways that support a peaceful lifestyle with less stress?
- Am I willing to re-examine my values, thoughts, and lifestyle choices to support optimal health and well-being?
My preliminary conclusion is that I often feel stress because society expects me to behave in certain ways that are in conflict with my core values. While my ancestors were dependent on the approval of others for their survival; I am not. As I get clear about my truth, my unique path in this world, and my soul’s mission; I become painfully aware that catering to the status quo is not only interfering with my sense of self, it is making me ill. As I find the courage to make baby steps to follow my own heart and my own dreams, I feel a sense of empowerment and vitality that is motivating in and of itself.

When it seems like the whole world is swimming against the current, it’s scary to imagine what would happen if I just stop struggling and float with the current. It’s uncomfortable to imagine losing the companionship of all the familiar swimmers around me. It’s upsetting to imagine that I’ve been pushing so hard my entire life to go nowhere I want to go. But what if simply releasing this struggle and facing the discomfort, the unfamiliar, the change of direction is the answer I’ve been searching for but couldn’t see? What if I’m the one creating all the stress and pain in my life?
Less is the New More

Lately I’ve been attempting to talk to my clients about doing less. Ironically, I seem to…
So often I am caught up in my to-do list and daily practices that I forget to celebrate the small milestones and victories. Recognizing our successes and acknowledging where hard work has created something new encourages us to keep moving forward. Making celebration a part of my life energizes my routine and sparks new ideas. Noticing what is working well helps me refine my course of action and to pursue more of the same.

Two days ago I greeted my first client in my new office space. It was the first day I was officially in residence, so it felt really good to be present with purpose and to support someone who was in need of pain relief. The ego, which is never satisfied and always seeks to criticize, thinks that I should wait to celebrate when I have a full schedule of clients who return regularly and maybe even a waiting list. While I will indeed celebrate that day if and when it arrives, I shall joyfully commemorate this week’s success in the meantime.

My celebration was a simple and brief affair. It was, after all, a long workday before another of the same. I took ten minutes out of my schedule to sit quietly and savor the feeling of having achieved a small step on the road to launching a new business. Bathing in the sensation of accomplishment and soaking up the vibration of success was much more rewarding than any champagne I could have sipped. I took an mental snap-shot of that feeling so I can pull it up when I need motivation. All I need do is remember that wonderful sensation and the desire for more of that will inspire me to persevere.

Radical Self-Care; Celebrate!

So often I am caught up in my to-do list and daily practices that I forget…
First of all, I’m psyched to celebrate the completion of my first week of radical self-care. I gave my maximum amount of massages over the past four days and rather than feeling depleted and sore, I am rather energized. That’s great news because today is my only day off and I’d be bummed if I was couch-ridden or immobilized. Clearly my increased emphasis on taking good care of myself (body, mind, heart, and soul) is paying off!

Today’s realization is that it’s important for me to have one morning each week without any plans. Even better if I could get a whole day, but I don’t see that happening anytime soon. So I’m claiming one morning AND one evening. I call this pajama time. Not having to focus on leaving the house at a specific time creates a sense of leisure that I find to be incredibly restorative.

Pajama time may or may not coincide with a day off. This week is does not, and that’s what sparked the awareness that I need to carve out another morning and reserve it to stay at home. Today is my day off, meaning I will not see any clients or do marketing or accounting or website updates. However, I am planning to go to a yoga class and get a facial afterwards. Which means a 6:00 am wakeup, body brushing , meditation, spiritual practice , breakfast and plenty of time to get to class at a leisurely pace. It is most definitely not a less is more, or a pajama day.

So I actually just blocked off time in my schedule tomorrow morning to remain at home. It is a work day, but the work I need to do is computer tasks, and it can be done easily from the comfort of my room, with messy hair, while wearing my favorite Oscar the Grouch T-shirt. I’m not joking; I take this so seriously that I entered “pajama time” into my iPhone as a repeating event for Wednesdays. I might move it around from week to week, but having a digital record of this commitment will help me to reschedule it if something comes up.

Making time to rest in this fast-paced world requires some ingenuity and a great deal of devotion. How do you reserve space for restoration in your busy schedule?

Radical Self-Care, Pajama Day

First of all, I’m psyched to celebrate the completion of my first week of radical self-care. I…
I’m in the midst of a busy stretch at work and feeling incredibly grateful for my commitment to maximum self-care. Tremendous benefits, including increased awareness and steady energy, are emerging consistently. I’m making lots of small decisions throughout the day based on what would be kindest for my self in that moment. This is a huge shift for someone who tends to follow a routine and stick with what she “thinks” “should” be the best option. Tuning in moment by moment allows me to be more authentic in my exploration.

Today my attention is drawn to the rewards of body brushing. If you’re not familiar with this technique, Google provides articles and videos galore to guide you. Basically you stroke a brush with soft, natural bristles over the surface of the body to exfoliate skin and stimulate lymph flow. I’ve done it for at least a decade now and really appreciate the softness of my skin as well as the fact that I rarely get sick. Healthy skin and lymph flow are two key components to promote a strong immune system, so this practice has double benefits.

I had a steady habit of dry brushing before I get into the shower each evening. However, since it’s been so hot and sticky icky here in Philadelphia this summer, I’ve been skipping it. Today I realized it’s time to upgrade this habit so that it works for me, rather than avoiding it through the summer. This morning I decided to brush first thing. Even before I meditated! I might fine-tune the timing, but it felt wonderful to get back into the swing of this healthy habit by releasing my attachment to the “when” aspect of dry brushing.

I’m learning that alongside commitment, flexibility is a major component of self-care. If the routine is too rigid, it will break rather than bend when there is a challenge. If there’s no commitment, it remains a lofty ideal, but never happens. Finding balance seems to be the key, in the arena of self-care as well as in life in general. Since my intention is not perfection but kindness and optimal wellbeing, it makes a lot of sense to allow the freedom to mix things up. Otherwise I’m just checking things off a to-do list, and really there’s not much joy in that.

Radical Self-Care, Dry Brushing

I’m in the midst of a busy stretch at work and feeling incredibly grateful for my commitment…
Increasing busy-ness at work has inspired me on a mission to fine-tune my routine and optimize my feel-good practices. Today I’m focused on giving myself plenty of time to get to where I’m going. It seems that no matter how long I’ve been awake, I’m always rushing to get out the door. This causes a fair amount of stress that erodes the self-care practices I’ve developed. Really what’s the point in meditating in the morning if I run around frantically trying to get ready for work in 4 minutes flat!?!

This morning, in an effort to be more kind to myself, I allowed more spaciousness in my schedule. I reserved a full 20 minutes to get dressed, gather my lunch, and double check that my wallet and other essentials are in the proper bag before heading downstairs. Yesterday I panicked because I couldn’t find my transit pass, ran back up to my third floor apartment to ransack various purses, only to realize it was in my pocket all along. ARGH! Not a peaceful entry into the world.

Since I don’t bother with makeup and it takes only 30 seconds to comb my hair, this 20 minutes allows the leisurely pace of my spiritual practice to extend into my commute. No doubt the lack of frenzied rushing will set a tone for a much more peaceful day at work. I’m thrilled to say goodbye to a bad habit that I’ve ignore for too long; one that is caused by trying to do one more thing before I leave the house. Once again, I’m remembering that sometimes less is more, and that good planning is the foundation for reducing the amount of stress I subject myself to.

Radical Self-Care, Spaciousness

Increasing busy-ness at work has inspired me on a mission to fine-tune my routine and optimize…