Holistic healing means addressing all the various parts of ourselves, including our emotions. Even the ones that are uncomfortable, unpopular and chaotic convey messages that support our overall wellbeing.

Often when I bring this up, I meet resistance, even in people who are engaged in healing work. Cue glazed eyes and impromptu change of topic.

Most of us have been conditioned to avoid expressing our feelings so we don’t make others uncomfortable and are well practiced in the arts of suppression and numbing so we need not deal with the messy nature of feelings.

As a result, the unexpressed emotions get frozen in our systems, blocking the flow of life-force energy while also lingering like a powder keg, just one errant spark away from KABOOMING.

It’s not a good system for creating a healthy, productive life or intimate relationships.

It seems to be a big secret that it doesn’t have to be this way. Maybe that’s because emotional suppression is a great cash cow for the pharmaceutical and alcohol industries?

In between stuffing it all down and erupting at the worst possible time is alternative approach, one I would describe as more mature and effective.

It takes a fair amount of compassion, courage and curiosity to turn towards our feelings, both those that are unfolding in the moment and those stored in our archives, but it’s the only way to reclaim wholeness.

We aren’t whole if we reject any part of ourselves, and that includes our emotions.

Ugh. How inconvenient! Sorry, not sorry, there’s no skipping over this.

I’ll add here that feelings need to be witnessed and felt, not rationalized, analyzed, figured out or otherwise compartmentalized. This is a huge, sneaky bypass attempt. I say “attempt” because it doesn’t work- this supposed bypass just leads to a parking lot where you sit and stew in perpetuity.

Thinking about your feelings is not the same as feeling them. Believe me, I tried. For almost a decade, I thought I was doing emotional healing work by sensing and naming my feelings, but I was still avoiding the painful, messy experience of anger, grief, disappointment and fear. Guess what? Those energies remained active within me, waiting to be felt, growing impatient and more and more disruptive over time.

Let’s take anger as an example. When I get angry and suppress it, it lives on within me, eating me up on the inside, leaking out sideways as passive aggressive behavior and sarcasm, or exploding outwards, causing collateral damage when the pressure exceeds my capacity for containment.

I’m sure you’ll agree that’s not healthy.

Don’t think that I’m saying you shouldn’t get angry! I’m not. First of all, I can’t tell you how you should feel. Second, there are loads of reasons to be angry. Anger, rage even, is justified sometimes. It’s a sign that a boundary has been crossed and perhaps that some sort of action is needed to protect our values, if not our safety.

So if you don’t want to store anger and you can’t avoid it altogether, then you must need to hurl it back to the person or event that activated it?

Nope. I’m not saying that either. As you likely know, impulsively reacting in the heat of anger can also have harmful consequences.

I’m suggesting a more masterful, mindful approach. One you may not have even knew existed.

You can metabolize that anger in private, without involving anyone else, including the activator of that anger.

Which doesn’t mean you never need to have a conversation with a coworker or partner about crossed boundaries, but doing the inner work first gives access to our inner wisdom and power so we are more likely to remain connected with our values and be heard because we haven’t just called someone a big fat stupidhead and run off sobbing. Don’t look at me like that- you know exactly what I mean!

Reiki is tremendously helpful for doing this work. It helps me find the motivation and courage to dive in, the clarity to recognize what needs to be done, the energy to stay with it, the compassion to prevent self-condemnation or blame.

If you’re looking for some support with metabolizing your emotions, I have a few different suggestions to offer. It depends on how much you want to participate.

If you are willing to witness and allow feelings to emerge and be felt, Reiki sessions can help. This is a long-term project, especially if you’ve been accumulating painful emotions for an entire lifetime, but it is doable with a commitment to showing up on a consistent basis.

You could take a Reiki class and learn to give yourself daily treatments as your primary strategy or as a supplement to receiving sessions from a professional. This is more affordable, as you’ll be doing a significant part of the work yourself.

If you’re stuck and floundering, it might help to have a Reiki+Coaching session, where I can shine some light into the shadows where you’ve stored the dark stuff. This will only work if you’re willing to witness what’s there, don’t project your anger onto me and truly want some help getting started addressing your issues.

If you’re wanting to go on pretending that your emotions are not wreaking havoc from the sidelines, I recommend never getting a Reiki session. Reiki is always working in your highest good and is not going to allow you to continue storing toxic waste in your psyche and body. There are plenty of ways to avoid your feelings- you only need to watch TV for ten minutes to see one of them displayed.

If you want to rebel against the repressed/suppressed status quo and activate the full flow of life-force available to you, I do hope you’ll join me in one way or another and let Reiki do it’s magic on your behalf.