We’re reaching that part of summer when I’m just over it. My resilience for heat and humidity has dwindled and I’m ready for falling leaves and pumpkins. Instead, we have winds that feel rather like standing in front of my blow dryer. 😅

Every morning I go out onto the porch for a sunrise meditation. Lately I feel like I’m entering a swamp when I step outside. At 6am!

Looking on the bright side, there’s no need to hit the sauna. Getting in the sweltering car a few times every day must have some sort of detox effect, right? And going into most stores has got to have benefits similar to a cold plunge, what with the 30 degree temperature differential.

I joke that I now have a 10am curfew. I don’t love being hermetically sealed inside for so much of the day, so I try to get out to the woods early. It’s a few degrees cooler by the creek.

I took a little video to remind me of this little oasis. May it offer you some relief and a touch of nature’s medicine. Imagine yourself being there in person, drinking in the fresh air and cool breeze.

Adapting my routine and bright-side-thinking can only take me so far, though. Let’s be realistic, mint tea and coconut water are refreshing, but they aren’t miracle workers.

Eventually my inner rebel emerges.

“You can’t make me stay inside!”

(It might help to explain that I give my internal voices a descriptive character name and speak of them as separate beings. It’s just a tool for understanding the workings of my mind. It ends up sounding like there’s a full cast in my head. Because there often is! Can you relate?)

Please note, this rebel is the same character who said, “You can’t make me go outside!” when summer began. 😆

She’s just contrary. But the thing about rebelling is… that’s not really freedom. When you’re just doing the opposite, breaking the rules, rocking the boat just to be different, you’re still controlled by the status quo.

Last year about this time, she came out and insisted we absolutely could go for a hike in the 95 degree weather. The hike itself was fine, but afterwards, a whopper of a headache erupted. The end result could hardly to be described as “freedom”.

What I did today was mediate a negotiation. Ignoring, suppressing or overriding the rebel generally fails. At best, it’s energy consuming and not much fun.

Same goes for the inner overprotective mother. She’s the one who’d prefer I remained at a consistent 72 degrees year round. Bah!

So I called upon the inner stern auntie, a role I have perfected in real life with my niece and nephews. I’m fair, but not a softie with them, and this wise, compassionate, mature part of me is best qualified for overseeing arguments between children as well as different aspects of myself.

Rule #1: Everyone has a chance to say their piece.

The rebel wants to go out and it’s past our 😂 10am curfew. Helicopter mom says no, it’s too hot.

Rule #2: We don’t rule things out just because they didn’t work in the past. Instead, we workshop ideas to improve them and plan accordingly.

I’ll spare you the details, but I sorted through options of when and where to go, what to bring, what I could do before and after in order to get a proper walk in the woods without ending up dehydrated and decrepit.

In this way of relating, everyone wins. The parent figure gets to keep us safe, the rebel gets to go out and experience some freedom, the auntie gets to play peacekeeper.

This approach works for all sorts of inner incompatibility. When I find myself resistant to doing the thing I promised myself I would or wouldn’t do, torn between two choices or completely clueless about how to proceed, I invite all the characters to a round table session and discuss how to meet everyone’s needs.

This engenders trust in myself and reduces future resistance and outbursts.

I learned this ages ago as an energetic practice of aligning head, heart and gut. Getting thoughts, emotions and instincts all onboard for decisions and actions. Since then, I’ve drawn on the IFS (Internal Family Systems) model. “No Bad Parts” by Dick Schwartz is a good entry point if you’d like to learn more.

The reason I’m using such a minor issue to demonstrate this technique is because I think it’s important to begin with the easy stuff. Jumping in to the deep end can backfire and cause emotional distress and a rift in self trust.

I’m happy to report that I’m back from the woods, showered, hydrated and feeling ready to meet the rest of the day. I’ve learned something about myself and am more likely to be self-compassionate moving forward as a result.

Whatever your day brings, whatever season you find yourself in, whatever inner turmoil might be brewing, I wish you harmony and peace. I hope these words can help you cultivate it.

Cultivating peace and harmony internally is essential to cultivating holistic health. Hit subscribe and stay connected for more tips and tricks to enjoy optimal wellness.