self-care

  • Menopausal Frozen Shoulder.

    What? Yup. It’s a thing.

    I’m in a curious position, at the age 51, approaching perimenopause, and experiencing symptoms that would likely go overlooked if not for my peers’ suggestions that seemingly random events could be related to hormonal changes.

    When I tweaked my shoulder several months ago, my good friend told me she endured the same misery during menopause and gave me the phrase to search online, I was shocked. But I followed up and whaddya know? Menopausal Frozen Shoulder, which I have nicknamed FroSho, is seriously a thing.

    My search engine investigation indicates that nearly 70% of those who suffer from frozen shoulder are women, age 40-60. Obviously a correlation, not a causation. But it got me to thinking about two things.

    One. How do I heal this painful condition with mysterious origins?

    And, two. WTF? Why would a drop in estrogen or the cessation of menstruation affect the shoulder joint? (Hint: I’ve come to see that it’s much more complex that this!)

    I’ll share the highlights of how I got to a much more comfortable place using a wide range of holistic techniques. You’ll see some familiar suggestions here about heat and massage, but the mental-emotional component is what really made the difference.

    As with all holistic healing, it took time and diligence for me to recover. The pain faded pretty quickly, and these days only pops up when I overexert or overextend. My range of motion is gradually increasing, but still has a way to go. I no longer feel panicked about the possibility of needing an extreme medical intervention or being permanently impaired. Perhaps most importantly, I was forced to look at my belief system and ferret out a few rotten apples.  

    I allowed myself to feel ALL the sensations and emotions. When the pain flared, I listened. My body was speaking to me, and to the best of my ability, I took note, and responded compassionately. I noticed which movements activated the pain and adjusted my behavior accordingly.

    I’m not a complete diva, so obviously there are limits to my capacity to do so. I focused on progress, not perfection. When I realized my shopping bag was too heavy for my current condition and I was still several blocks from my home, I continued to carry it. AND I have since made adjustments so that wouldn’t happen again.

    I’ve worked with clients in this same situation, many of whom felt the initial OW! and kept going with what they were doing, most likely worsening the injury. One was scrubbing the floor and finished the job. Another was giving a massage and also finished the job. We all do what we have to do, but I cannot emphasize enough- do an honest evaluation at any critical moment like this and truly decide… is this something I HAVE to do? Is it worth adding MONTHS to my recovery time and massive discomfort to my everyday life?

    If it isn’t essential to your life or livelihood or the well-being of someone for whom you are responsible, can you do the revolutionary act of just STOPPING? It’s my suspicion that we’ve been so programmed to override our bodies’ messages, particularly women and even more so mothers, that many of us have simply forgotten how to care for ourselves. That begins with discontinuing nonessential activities that cause suffering.

    Paying attention and responding to sensation with compassion was a huge component of my healing work.

    I used Reiki every day, saturating my shoulder with healing life- force and restoring the flow of energy through the joint. Simple movements within the small range of what was comfortable, self-massage with arnica and anti-inflammatory essential oils, and heat became a part of my daily routine. I increased the bodywork I receive from once to twice per month.

    There was a week when the pain was pretty intense in the first month of this episode that called for ibuprofen. That’s generally not my first response to pain as it addresses the symptoms, but not the cause, and interferes with the messages pain conveys. AND I’m not an advocate for senseless suffering. I continued my healing efforts and allowed myself to cope with the discomfort as needed. For me, there is a time and a place for pharmaceutical intervention and while it might be infrequent, I am not too proud or stubborn to take the edge of pain when I need it.

    There’s nothing very radical about the physical approach I took. What was especially interesting was the exploration of the psyche; uncovering unconscious beliefs, thought patterns, and unexpressed emotions that could have been stored in the shoulder, blocking the flow of life-force and affecting my posture.

    Reiki was especially helpful in this phase. It gave my the courage to honestly look within and the clarity to assess what I found. Restoring the flow of life-force exposed several ugly truths that I needed to address to allow the healing to unfold. Reiki provided the support of regulating my nervous system so I wasn’t constantly swimming in a sea of adrenaline or trying to navigate life in fight, flight, or freeze mode.  

    The shoulders represent the burdens that we carry, including the “shoulds” that were downloaded through cultural conditioning. The beliefs that I should be this, but not that; I should act this way, not that way; and I should look a certain way too. When these unconscious beliefs are in conflict with our conscious values, it can create an energy of resentment that can trigger inflammation and a defensive, tense posture. Same with our responsibilities and any other burdens.  

    I’m pretty familiar with my inner landscape from decades of spelunking in my inner caverns, but I was able to flush out some problematic patterns from the deep shadows. It’s not easy to admit that we carry unflattering or self-destructive baggage, but it’s a whole lot easier than dragging it around for a lifetime.

    Energetically, I view the hands as the conduit for expressing from the heart, and the shoulder as an intersection through which that energy must flow. I had a long, hard look at my work as well as my creative expression, and found some areas that were misaligned.

    Finally, it has not been lost on me that the number one thing I have been unable to do in this state is to hook a bra behind my back. My arm just doesn’t bend that way! Putting on coats or a backpack are a bit tricky, but I can manage well enough. But those pesky hooks are a definite no-go. I’ve spend a fair amount of time wondering if this is a factor in the correlation between middle-aged women and frozen shoulder? Along with ignoring messages of discomfort, is there an element of resentment around constrictive undergarments? Something to think about!

    I think the biggest message I’d like to convey here is that we can save ourselves some suffering if we listen to our bodies, explore our misaligned belief systems, and stop suppressing anger, fear, grief, and resentment. And Reiki is the perfect tool for doing all of that.

    Reiki, Menopause, and Frozen Shoulder: A Holistic Approach

    Menopausal Frozen Shoulder. What? Yup. It’s a thing. I’m in a curious position, at the age…

  • I get so many requests for and questions about releasing toxic or negative energy. If you’re even remotely empathic, it’s likely that you absorb energy from other folks, environments and situations. It can feel heavy, slimy, icky, and downright gross!

    One way to start off the new year on the right foot would be to create healthy energy hygiene habits. I find spending time in nature, under the sky, amongst the trees, and by running water to work magic for me!

    Since that isn’t always practical, I made a short video of super-easy techniques anyone can use to clear out unwanted energy.

    I misspoke when I mentioned “dry brushing”. The Reiki technique is called “dry bathing”, and is just what it sounds like. Getting clean without water. Anyone can do it!

    If you want some professional help or guidance, I can do that too! There are a variety of ways this could happen, depending on whether you want to simply lie back and let me do the work, or learn how to do it yourself. A popular approach is to get a session (remote Reiki or in-person Reiki in Philadelphia) to do a deep clean, followed by a Reiki class or intuitive coaching so you can do the maintenance yourself.

    Holistic Tips for Clearing Your Energy

    I get so many requests for and questions about releasing toxic or negative energy. If you’re…

  • I get it. I understand why folks frequently ask me this question and why they’re disappointed with my response.

    No. I can’t fix you.

    You’re not broken.

    Maybe a bit dented or rumpled or worn around the edges, but I promise, you’re not broken. Your body and psyche may have experience some neglect, abuse, misuse, or trauma, but your soul is indestructible.

    Very often the complaints that clients bring to me are the messages their souls are sending, pleading for attention. These aches and pains, neurosis and upsets, are a call for help. I can’t wave a magic wand and make them go away; nor would I if I could! When we ignore these messages, they usually become louder and more insistent in the form of greater discomfort or dysfunction.

    What I can do is help you to receive the messages and begin to correct your trajectory. This might be as simple as giving yourself consistent care in the form of treatment or learning how to give yourself Reiki healing energy. Either of these approaches will likely reveal the next steps- things like getting more rest, better nutrition, honoring your feelings and needs, or expressing yourself.

    Those are steps you’ll need to make yourself. I can support you along the way and provide nurturance, comfort, and guidance in a variety of ways, and I’ll be delighted to do so.

    If your health or life need a makeover, Reiki is an excellent tool to have in your toolbox. But the willingness to make the necessary changes is beyond my sphere of power. That’s up to you.

    I can show you the path, but it’s your responsibility to take each step.

    Let me know when you’re ready to begin. Wherever you are in the world, you can receive remote Reiki or intuitive coaching. We can also do Reiki-massage or in-person Reiki in Philadelphia.

    Can’t You Just Fix Me?

    I get it. I understand why folks frequently ask me this question and why they’re disappointed…

  • I like to compare health to a bank account. Many of my students and clients find this analogy to be useful for understanding the benefits of Reiki. In the same way that we grow financial wealth by making more frequent or larger deposits that withdrawals, we can cultivate wellness wealth by accumulating life-force energy. Reiki is a safe and reliable method for amassing health credits.

    Instead of relying solely on medical professionals to detect problems during annual checkups, there’s much we can do every day to boost the immune system and overall wellness. The body already knows how to be as healthy as it is able, and we can support its endeavors by giving it the energy necessary to do so. Reiki is a powerful, yet simple and safe, way to help all the body’s systems function more effectively.

    Life-force energy (called ki, qi, chi, and prana in other cultures) can be cultivated by lifestyle habits such as eating natural foods, spending time in nature, getting enough sleep, and expressing creativity. I view each of these activities as a deposit into a wellness account.

    Conversely, chronic worry and stress, consistent consumption of processed foods, over-giving, and being excessively sedentary can be viewed as withdrawals. Sadly, western culture generally steers us towards a ki deficit by overvaluing productivity and busyness and undervaluing rest and relaxation. In order to optimize wellness, we can take steps to offset this trend towards ki debt.

    Granted, there may be factors beyond our control such as genetics, accidents, injuries, illness, and pollution. While we may not be able to change these circumstances, we can do everything within our power to minimize their effects and give ourselves the best possible chance to enjoy the optimal levels of health and wellness available to us.

    Given that I far from perfect in my pursuit of a healthy lifestyle and have some chronic health issues that require extra attention, I turn to Reiki to fill in the gaps. Reiki is an ancient healing method, commonly defined as spiritually guided life-force energy. It is easy to learn and complements all other treatments. I know of no other modality that is pleasurable to receive, universally beneficial, and has no negative side-effects.

    Reiki is not limited by time or space and therefore can be offered remotely, to be received from the comfort of your home as well as in-person. There are many ways to experience a treatment. Additionally, anyone can train to become a practitioner in a short period of time. During initiation, energy channels are opened, allowing access to this universal energy. Afterwards, making daily health deposits is as simple as inviting the Reiki to flow.

    Consider investing in your wellness account consistently. Rather than waiting for an unwanted diagnosis, you can actively pursue the best version of health possible for you. Filling up you ki tank, either as a client or practitioner, is one way to do so with minimal effort and expense. It’s never too late to take steps to cultivate or preserve vitality and health.

    Message me if you’d like some guidance on how to get started.

    Cultivating Wellness with Reiki

    I like to compare health to a bank account. Many of my students and clients find…

  • I’ve already chosen self-compassion as my theme for 2023. I’m guiding a group on New Year’s Day in my Meetup group, and figured I should do my own work ahead of time. I chose the solstice for my introspective inventory of what’s going on in myself and in my life and what I’d like to call in for next year.

    What came up for me is a desire to be 100% on my side, 100% of the time. I saw so clearly how I sometimes reject my feelings when they are uncomfortable or inconvenient and how very unkind that is. I had the image of shoving a lollipop in a little girl’s mouth with the intention of stopping her tears. NOT how I want to be responding to my own emotions!

    I made short video of a process that I use to cultivate compassion. It’s so simple! And we don’t often see it modeled in our culture, so it might seem completely foreign. I feel confident that everyone can learn how to do this with some practice.

    If this resonates with you, you might be interested in an upcoming event, an installment of my Holistic Wellness series, which will focus on self-compassion. You can learn more and sign up here. If that’s not your thing, I hope you’ll at least take the exercise from the video out for a few spins and see how it lands for you.

    The Value of Self-Compassion

    I’ve already chosen self-compassion as my theme for 2023. I’m guiding a group on New Year’s…

  • OOPS! I didn’t publish this yesterday, December 21, which was actually the solstice. Oh well, close enough. 🙂

    A significant turning point in the cycle of the year, today is the winter solstice in the northern hemisphere. That means tonight is the longest night and that tomorrow night will be slightly shorter. The days will become increasingly longer.

    It’s a great time of year to turn inward. Our western society does a tremendous job of compelling the exact opposite, but if you tune in to the rhythms of nature, you can sense the pause. The pause is where clarity arises. It’s my goal to use this time of the year to slow down and allow inner wisdom to guide me. Before I begin investing my time and energy in the new year, it really helps to have a grounded and embodied sense of where I actually want to go rather than just continuing on the same trajectory I’ve been following.

    My plans for today include venturing out into the cold quiet of the winter woods to refresh my life-force energy and spending some time in community. It’s lovely to be with other folks who are doing the inner work of exploring and releasing the old patterns that are no longer beneficial. I’ll give myself some time to integrate the results before setting my intentions for the new year, at an online event you’re most welcome to attend.

    Whatever you do today, or on the days surrounding the solstice, I wish you peace, clarity, and acceptance. This may not be your preferred season, but isn’t it beautiful in its own way, nonetheless? We haven’t yet had any snow to speak of here in Philadelphia, but I think this photo from my last adventure in the woods conveys the spirit of Pennsylvania in winter.

    Seasons greetings, friends. Take good care of yourselves.

    Happy Solstice!!!

    OOPS! I didn’t publish this yesterday, December 21, which was actually the solstice. Oh well, close…

  • I’ve been intentionally slowing down for the month of December. I realized that I perhaps overshot the mark when more than 50% of my clients this month cancelled or moved their sessions to January! I wanted to slow down and do less, but SHEESH! not that slow! I’ve since course- corrected and things have been normalizing over the past few days.

    During this time of contemplation and introspection, a plan has emerged. I’ve gotten a lot of clarity about how I want to invest my energy in the new year. It will take some time to unfold, but today I’m happy to announce the first step. I’ve launched a Meetup group: Reiki Plus, Online Metaphysical Wellness Group. It’s free to join and I hope to see you there!

    “Whether you’re curious about Reiki, wanting to learn more or maybe get initiated, or a practitioner (seasoned, beginner, reluctant, or lapsed), this group is for you! Wherever you are on the planet, there is space for you here. We will be meeting exclusively online.

    “Together we will explore tools and applications for holistic healing, personal growth, embodied spirituality, and self-empowerment. While Reiki is the foundation of my offerings, I also “stack” complementary techniques for a synergistic effect. We’ll experiment with different metaphysical recipes to maximize your results: what I call Reiki Plus.

    “Uncovering wholeness and worthiness, examining unconscious beliefs and conditioning, regulating the nervous system, and replenishing life-force energy are the goals for our events. No matter what your history, circumstances, or beliefs, I believe it’s possible to use Reiki to experience optimal wellness, joy, peace, freedom, and creativity.

    “You’ll find a wide variety of events, including intention setting circles, Reiki circles, group coaching and workshops for folks already initiated, and traditional Reiki certification classes.”

    The first event I’m hosting will be on January 1st. I’ll guide a body-mind-spirit centered intention-setting process. I call this the head-heart-belly approach to getting #$^! done. The idea is to get all the parts of yourself on the same side, working together as a team for your greatest good. It’s a practice I do myself every year and have shared with my local Reiki community in the past. I’m expanding the invitation to anyone who’s interested in joining.

    If you’re new to Meetup, you’re in for a treat! It’s a great network of folks doing unique work. It’s easy to sign up. The notifications can get overwhelming, so I suggest you make alterations that suit the amount of activity you’d prefer in your inbox.

    I have a lot of ideas about what I want to share. The easiest way to keep up with the offerings as they develop is to join the Meetup group. There’s no obligation to ever attend, but you’ll keep your options open. I’d love to have you onboard!

    New Year’s Day Intention Setting Event

    I’ve been intentionally slowing down for the month of December. I realized that I perhaps overshot…

  • It’s perfectly natural to rub or press on sore muscles. Instinctive even. I encourage folks to actively participate in caring for their bodies and think self-massage is a beautiful addition to a wellness routine. As many parents know, simple human contact can be incredibly soothing. As massage recipients know, treating aching and stiff muscles can provide incredible relief.

    There are lots of tools that can help us reach spots that are difficult to touch, and I use my Backnobber, foam roller, and a tennis ball frequently. However, I’ve all but stopped recommending self-massage to clients. Many of them got too aggressive and showed up the following week with bruises!

    So, yes, these tools can be helpful, but even more helpful is understanding the reasons what makes massage beneficial. I can’t stress enough that a compassionate, gentle approach is going to be most effective. Let go of any idea of punishing muscles for misbehaving or trying to beat them into submission.

    It’s also important to examine the cause of the pain. It’s often an imbalance in the structure of the body. Muscles that are habitually shortened due to posture and repetitive movement tug on the opposing muscles, eliciting a complaint from a location that is not the cause. Neck and shoulder pain from hunching over a keyboard all day is the perfect example. Treating the symptom might provide pleasant sensations, maybe even temporary relief in the form of distraction, but won’t create any lasting change.

    I have a few basic guidelines I’d like to share to promote safe and productive self-massage.

    1. Massage promotes relaxation. My specialty is connecting with the nervous system, and allowing chronic tension to fade by reducing the internal alarm bells signaling danger. Pain, even self-induced pain produced in an attempt to treat chronic pain, triggers the symapathetic nervous system and activates muscular contraction. It’s totally counterproductive!
    2. Massage promotes circulation, bringing oxygenated blood to muscles and removing cellular wastes. This is easily achieved with a light to medium pressure. Intense pressure that produces pain, over even the expectation of pain, causes the breath to become shallow or even held. Counterproductive!
    3. Massage ideally addresses musculoskeletal imbalances. A basic knowledge of anatomy, physiology, and body mechanics is helpful. For example, in the 15,000 + sessions I’ve given, never once have the rhomboids (the muscles between the shoulder blades) been the cause of pain in that area. Sure, they’re tight on almost everyone, but that’s because chest muscles are habitually contracted, overstretching the rhomboids. Applying a lot of pressure to an overstretched muscle is beyond counterproductive.

    I am in full support of anyone who wishes to improve wellness with a DIY approach. Please do keep in mind these simple guidelines so that you can take action without creating harm. When in doubt, check in with your body- it doesn’t lie! But our minds have been conditioned to do more, go deeper, suck it up, and push through. Counterproductive!

    Self-Massage Tips

    It’s perfectly natural to rub or press on sore muscles. Instinctive even. I encourage folks to…

  • Bad mood? Feeling blue? Running a mental loop of resentful or judgmental thoughts? Frustrated, disappointed, jealous, or ashamed? Welcome to the human experience! There are so many flavors of feelings and life seems to provide ample opportunities to taste them all.

    Perhaps you’d like to try something different and allow whatever is alive in you to be expressed. Ignoring it is nearly impossible and stuffing it down just causes future health issues. Putting on a happy face and throwing positive affirmations on top does not make the feelings go away. Some masterful folks can transmute unpleasant emotions with mantra or meditation, but a lot of people are really just bypassing them, leaving them to fester and leak out sideways or explode when the pressure rises.

    What if you gave yourself 5 minutes to just FEEL it? Provided you’re not on the edge of a trauma spiral (and if you are, please do get yourself some help!), moving your body while tapping into emotional states can be fantastically cathartic. This is a fun song with a great beat! The lyrics are in Portuguese, making it easy for us English speakers to focus on the rhythm and how it invites movement.

    If you’ve become estranged from your feelings, a possible step towards reconciliation would be to invite them into the dance, without any expectations of how they show up. The more accepting we can be, the more likely the parts that have been rejected, neglected, hidden, abandoned, shamed or numbed might make an appearance.

    If you’re already having an enjoyable day, you can use a dance break to anchor that, drink it up, soak it in, and savor the good. And if your feelings are pretty neutral, that can also be celebrated. And maybe you just need a break from whatever task you’re doing so that you can come back to it with greater clarity and focus. And let us not forget the endorphins!

    If resistance comes up, you could get radical and allow that to express itself through your movements. How would resistance move your body? It can be enjoyable and liberating to experiment. So close the curtains, lock your door, silence your gadgets and give yourself 5 minutes to feel what needs to be felt. You might be surprised at how quickly things shift when they’re allowed to flow.

    If you have access to Reiki, I suggest creating a Reiki bubble to infuse yourself with healing energy while you do this. Imagine a bubble with a radius about an arm’s length surrounding you and fill it up with Reiki. If you have level 2 skills, drop in the mental/emotional symbol, and any others that call to you. Allow yourself to receive the comfort and support of this universal life-force energy while you go on about your day.

    Dance it OUT!

    Bad mood? Feeling blue? Running a mental loop of resentful or judgmental thoughts? Frustrated, disappointed, jealous,…