self-care

Recently a client told me that maybe it would be better if she just got sick so she could spend a few days in bed resting. For the past week her entire family had been fighting off one bug after another, and she was exhausted. I shared my strategy of taking time off when I feel the first hints of less-than-wellness, preferring to spend my time in bed resting without being miserable.

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It really got me thinking how we’re programmed in our culture to keep going, going, going no matter the cost to our health. We’re taught to push through discomfort and to force ourselves to carry on at any cost. In order to receive permission to take time off, from an authority figure or even ourselves, we often need to be seriously ill, oozing bodily fluids, devoid of all energy, and utterly wrung out.

Then it takes a week or more to recover when a day or two of rest might have been enough to avoid the entire episode. From a productivity point of view, it’s completely inefficient. From a wellness point of view, it’s completely bonkers!

Choosing to prioritize my health has shifted my thinking completely. I recognize the value in protecting my life-force energy and making choices that maximize my well-being. When I don’t work, I don’t get paid, which only reinforces my desire to defend my health. Taking two days off is rarely easy, yet it’s always easier than loosing a week or more of work.

My most recent bout of almost-sickness led to some serious soul-searching. What could I change to prevent a future incident? What is it that I give myself permission to do when I’m sick that I don’t have permission to do when I’m well? Is it possible to provide that without needing the threat of illness? Spending two days in bed creates its own problems in the form of stiffness and backache and isn’t the most ideal solution.

For many people it is about rest. But I fiercely guard my precious sleep, so that’s not it. For me, the answer was obvious. I’m “allowed” to do nothing and watch movies when I don’t feel well. It’s about downtime and entertainment. Pieces of the puzzle that are often missing in my daily life.

I’ve decided to upgrade my plan from resting when illness threatens to making time in my schedule every week for play and fun. Finding blocks of time that aren’t about being productive or learning or even creating (as much as I enjoy these things) is the prescription.

If I willingly give my psyche the time it needs to thrive, it won’t need to demand it through illness. Which isn’t to say that I’ll never be sick again. I wish! I’m still living in a human body, with all its frailties and imperfections. Yet I can give myself the best chance possible to prevent all preventable illness by making pro-active decisions.

And that’s really the best I can do.

Why Wait Till You’re Sick to Rest?

Recently a client told me that maybe it would be better if she just got sick…
One of the most common questions I hear from Reiki students and clients is, “How do I heal…”. My eczema, my finances, my relationship with my mother, the trauma lingering from childhood abuse, shoddy self-esteem, karma from previous lifetimes, addictions, phobias… You name it, my answer is always the same.

Set an intention and add Reiki. Combining the power of the mind (via intention and attention) with the healing of spiritually guided life-force energy is the formula for soothing whatever ails us. I used to want to make it more complicated, to have specific recipes for each and every circumstance, but that’s just not necessary. I’m learning to appreciate the ease of this one-size-fits-all approach!

In my self-care practice, I treat a sprained ankle the same way I do disappointment or getting out of debt. I invite Reiki to flow for whatever purpose I have in mind. Then I pay attention.

I pay attention to insights and intuitive nudges that arise from within me as well as synchronicities that point me toward guided action. When blockages and resistance arise, I use Reiki to uncover what’s underneath, and then I use Reiki to treat that.

I keep repeating this process as I work through the layers that keep me separate from the experiences I desire. I also use Reiki to help myself accept that wherever I am is exactly where I’m supposed to be, and to release the limiting beliefs that I don’t deserve to have all the goodness that I long for.

I use Reiki to help me let go of the habits that prevent me from receiving my heart’s desires and to notice the clues the universe gives me about how to move toward my goals. When I encounter obstacles, I Reiki them; and when I feel stuck, I Reiki that. Usually what’s underneath it all is a false message I’ve adopted as a result of cultural conditioning or an outdated coping mechanism. Once discovered, I Reiki that too.

I know this time of year can be difficult for many of us. It certainly is for me. I take extra measures to protect my mental and emotional health. To help you do the same, I’m offering a discount on a series of 5 long-distance Reiki session, only $360. Normally $80 each, you save $40 when purchasing a package by 1/31/20. Gift certificates are available as well.

You don’t need to know how to heal this anxiety, depression, auto-immune condition, neurological disorder, PTSD, or anything else. Reiki knows how. All you need to do is receive treatment and take inspired action. Contact me with any questions or to arrange purchase of a package and schedule your first session.

You Don’t Need to Know How and Reiki Package Special

One of the most common questions I hear from Reiki students and clients is, “How do…
I’ve written a lot about self-care over the years. I talk about it frequently with students and clients. I practice it non-stop. Most of the time it’s not at all glamorous. Often it involves chopping vegetables on a Saturday morning, doing my bookkeeping on a Friday night, saying “no” to invitations that don’t spark joy, NOT buying that awesome tote bag that’s 60% off, getting up at 5 am to pursue my dreams, and going to bed early so I’m not cranky when I do that.

When this touching article by Brianna Wiest came across my radar once again, I decided to share it. She makes very good points about the toxicity that is so rampant in our society and the importance of choosing to go another route. Particularly this: “True self-care is not salt baths and chocolate cake, it is making the choice to build a life you don’t need to regularly escape from.” So here’s what Brianna has to say. I hope you find it helpful.

“Self-care is often a very unbeautiful thing.

It is making a spreadsheet of your debt and enforcing a morning routine and cooking yourself healthy meals and no longer just running from your problems and calling the distraction a solution.

It is often doing the ugliest thing that you have to do, like sweat through another workout or tell a toxic friend you don’t want to see them anymore or get a second job so you can have a savings account or figure out a way to accept yourself so that you’re not constantly exhausted from trying to be everything, all the time and then needing to take deliberate, mandated breaks from living to do basic things like drop some oil into a bath and read Marie Claire and turn your phone off for the day.

A world in which self-care has to be such a trendy topic is a world that is sick. Self-care should not be something we resort to because we are so absolutely exhausted that we need some reprieve from our own relentless internal pressure.

True self-care is not salt baths and chocolate cake, it is making the choice to build a life you don’t need to regularly escape from.

And that often takes doing the thing you least want to do.

It often means looking your failures and disappointments square in the eye and re-strategizing. It is not satiating your immediate desires. It is letting go. It is choosing new. It is disappointing some people. It is making sacrifices for others. It is living a way that other people won’t, so maybe you can live in a way that other people can’t.

It is letting yourself be normal. Regular. Unexceptional. It is sometimes having a dirty kitchen and deciding your ultimate goal in life isn’t going to be having abs and keeping up with your fake friends. It is deciding how much of your anxiety comes from not actualizing your latent potential, and how much comes from the way you were being trained to think before you even knew what was happening.

If you find yourself having to regularly indulge in consumer self-care, it’s because you are disconnected from actual self-care, which has very little to do with “treating yourself” and a whole lot do with parenting yourself and making choices for your long-term wellness.

It is no longer using your hectic and unreasonable life as justification for self-sabotage in the form of liquor and procrastination. It is learning how to stop trying to “fix yourself” and start trying to take care of yourself… and maybe finding that taking care lovingly attends to a lot of the problems you were trying to fix in the first place.

It means being the hero of your life, not the victim. It means rewiring what you have until your everyday life isn’t something you need therapy to recover from. It is no longer choosing a life that looks good over a life that feels good. It is giving the hell up on some goals so you can care about others. It is being honest even if that means you aren’t universally liked. It is meeting your own needs so you aren’t anxious and dependent on other people.

It is becoming the person you know you want and are meant to be. Someone who knows that salt baths and chocolate cake are ways to enjoy life – not escape from it.”
-Brianna Wiest

This is What ‘Self-Care’ REALLY Means

I’ve written a lot about self-care over the years. I talk about it frequently with students…
As the year draws to a close, I’m receiving a lot of calls and emails about choosing my health insurance package for next year. While I am indeed grateful for the ability to seek medical care should I need it, I’m more interested in the steps I can take every day to insure my optimal health and wellbeing.

For me, that’s spending time in nature, being with the trees and flowing water. Drinking my tea outside at sunrise allowing myself to be still and quiet and present with my intentions and feelings. Choosing organic and sustainably produced foods from the farmers market and making the time to prepare and enjoy nourishing meals. Setting healthy boundaries to protect my down time and peace of mind. Engaging in meaningful and uplifting conversations and reading material.

And my latest project- learning to have fun, since I’ve managed to take really good care of myself in an overly serious and chore-like manner. So tomorrow night you can find me wearing silly glasses and a tiara (it’s Halloween after all!) turning in the wrong direction and stepping on toes and having a blast with my neighborhood contra dancing community.

It doesn’t really matter what type of insurance you invest in for yourself. Knitting, baking, painting, gardening, hiking, writing, singing… I could go on for ages! But I do encourage everyone to empower themselves by taking action (or stillness, as might often be more helpful!) to promote your health rather than relying on a doctor to “fix” you once things begin to fall apart.

Health Insurance

As the year draws to a close, I’m receiving a lot of calls and emails about…
This morning while at the shoe repair shop, I saw a woman write “shoes” on her notepad and immediately cross it off. Risking being nosy, I asked if she just wrote the errand she’s currently running on her to-do list just to mark it as completed. She sheepishly admitted that she did. We enjoyed a moment of camaraderie uncommon amongst strangers.

I shared my strategy (thanks to my college roommate’s dad, I believe) to circle and star the accomplished tasks. In a world of seemingly never-ending to-do’s I believe it’s important to acknowledge and celebrate each and every little thing rather than jumping right to the next errand.

I’m rewiring my brain to notice all that I’ve achieved rather than constantly scanning for the next dozen things that need doing. The result is that I feel more relaxed. Lest you think that’s an airy-fairy, wu-wu goal; taking a break from chronic stress has a physiological response that promotes a healthier immune system, better quality sleep and digestion, less pain and muscle tension, lower blood pressure, and feel-good neurochemistry.

Yes please!

In addition to learning not to sweat the (negative) small stuff, I’m choosing to celebrate the (positive) small stuff every chance I get.

Promoting resiliency and maximum well-being is well worth the effort!

~~Shoes~~***

~~Curtains~~ ***

~~Frame for diploma~~***

~~Bank~~***

~~Emails~~***

~~Meditation~~***

~~Lunch~~***

~~Blog~~***

~~Correct glaring error in title of blog~~***

Yoga

Celebrate the Small Stuff

This morning while at the shoe repair shop, I saw a woman write “shoes” on her…
A few weeks ago, when I was visiting family in Michigan, my brother invited me to the county fair with him. He was going to purchase a steer and a hog at the 4H youth livestock auction. I decided to go for the experience of witnessing something so very outside of my urban reality. And for the funnel cake.

Funnel cake has always been my favorite fair food. It’s a very rare, nostalgic treat that I know has negative consequences. If you’re unfamiliar with such delicacies, it’s basically fried dough with powdered sugar on top. The batter drops through a funnel, creating a haphazard pattern in the hot oil, no doubt vegetable oil from the 1990’s. (Vegetable oil might sound healthy; I assure you, it is not! It’s likely a blend of GMO corn, GMO soy, and GMO canola oils, high in omega 6 fatty acids, and a precursor to joint inflammation.) It comes with 18 napkins to help soak up the greasy residue.

The full scoop is that after surveying the food arena, there was no funnel cake to be found! I was all revved up for something decadent and ended up choosing a caramel apple. Then on the way out, by some miracle or devilry, I spotted the jackpot. I got my precious funnel cake even though I wasn’t hungry anymore.

After approximately 3 bites, my knee began to ache. It continued to stiffen and swell and even throb a little. This is the knee that I had injured (likely a meniscus tear) about 18 months ago. It doesn’t bend completely, but hasn’t bothered me in over a year. A few bites of a triple inflammatory (vegetable oil, wheat, sugar) and poof! It regressed fantastically. And stayed that way for nearly a week!

I’m here to implore you to consider what systemic inflammation you may be experiencing due to dietary choices. Wouldn’t you like to know what it feels like to have greater mobility and less pain? Do you really get so much enjoyment out of doughnuts that it makes the subsequent suffering worthwhile?

I never felt better than when following the elimination diet recommended by Dr. Alejandro Junger in his book “Clean: The Revolutionary Program to Restore the Body’s Natural Ability to Heal Itself”. If that sounds too daunting, perhaps begin by taking just a small step and replacing one sugary fried dough product with something more wholesome. Every step towards reducing inflammation is a step in the direction of optimal health, freedom, and greater quality of life.

I promise, once you begin to experience life with less pain, you won’t even miss that funnel cake. After this epiphany, I certainly won’t ever eat one bite ever again.

Instant Inflammation

A few weeks ago, when I was visiting family in Michigan, my brother invited me to…
So often I see clients completely wiped out after their heavily-scheduled “vacations”. They show up fatigued, aching, and dehydrated or overloaded with toxins and it takes a few weeks to get back on track. I’m aiming to avoid a necessary recovery period from my vacation this summer.

Here’s my plan.

Visiting family is a wonderful joy, and also brings up loads of deeply buried triggers and mismatched lifestyle choices. Now that I have nephews and a niece that I long to spend time with, my former plan of very short visits isn’t working any more.

Instead I’ve found a way to have my own space and have occasional visitors or drop in on them for a few hours now and then. As someone who needs A LOT of downtime, this is essential. I’ve claimed mornings as “me” time, making space for sunrise yoga, meditation, journaling, reading, and sipping tea while gazing through the trees at the lake.

I’m attempting to balance activities such as kayaking and swimming, which aren’t available in my normal life, with rest and restoration by making time for naps and a massage. I’m definitely eating more sugar than I recognize is good for me, but counteracting it somewhat with loads of fresh veggies and filtered water.

I’d forgotten how rough these little ones can be and was completely unaware of how much muscular effort is required on a peddle boat, so I was unprepared for aches and bruises. I’ll stop at the local co-op today for Epsom salts and arnica for my poor legs. Luckily I’ve not been head butted or had any teeth chipped on this trip!

I’m still working a bit while I’m here. Books need keeping and invoices need sending or else I’ll be swamped when I return. I’m doing several long-distance Reiki treatments for clients with urgent needs. AND I’m capping working hours at two per day. A pretty good ratio, I must say!

The foundation for my plan is balance. The goal is rest, play, work- in that order. While I won’t hit the mark every single hour, overall I am succeeding and enjoying the tremendous physiological benefits of relaxation. And hopefully when I return to my normal ratio of work, rest, play; I’ll be completely revitalized and ready to go.

Now if you please excuse me, a novel is waiting for me out on the deck.

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Auntie Pamela’s Vacation Self-Care Package

So often I see clients completely wiped out after their heavily-scheduled “vacations”. They show up fatigued,…
I’m not exactly anxious about my appointment with the dentist today, but I know that once I’m in that chair, my primitive brain will take over. It senses danger in this semi-reclined, seemingly restrained, and rather helpless position. The very act of dentistry is invasive by nature- foreign tools and hands in the mouth, and is even potentially traumatic if the fight-flight-or-freeze response gets stimulated. I aim to avoid that.

So I’m spending extra time this morning getting grounded, filling up with nature ki, and strengthening my presence and peace of mind. While I’m not expecting any discomfort physically, I know myself well enough to realize there will be some emotional discomfort and I have no desire to allow it to blossom or fester.

The urge I felt upon waking this morning was to distract myself from the unease I felt rising up within me. While it’s too early for whiskey, Netflix is always available as a means to avoid emotions. Very tempting! But deep down I know that ignoring my feelings doesn’t actually heal them or even eradicate them, so I’m going with a more holistic approach.

Prayer, meditation, journaling, and nature are the remedies that truly feed my soul and help me find balance within myself, increasing my natural resilience. I find I need all the resilience I can muster when dealing with medical professionals who always seem so eager to expose me to toxic chemicals, radiation, and well… trauma.

So in preparation, I’ve been to the creek to fill up on life-force energy and have arranged for a friend and fellow practitioner to send me Reiki for support. I had the good sense to schedule a gentle yoga class followed by a sound healing session for tonight. I’m feeling confident that I’ve done all I can to minimize the potential damage and pave the way for a positive outcome.

It might seem like a lot of effort for a checkup! I’ve come to recognize the importance of prevention vs. cleaning up the mess afterwards as well as the logic of using tools and techniques that actually help me feel better rather than temporarily escaping. Oh my goodness, I think I’m really adulting!

Dentist Prep

I’m not exactly anxious about my appointment with the dentist today, but I know that once…
I’m not sure if it’s the approach of summertime or some astrological event, but I’m hearing a lot from clients and acquaintances who lament their struggles with food cravings. It just so happens that this is an area where I’ve done extensive research. It seems like most of my adult life I was plagued by strong compulsions to eat things that were counterproductive at best, and self-destructive at worst.

While I’m not 100% free of this inner demon, I’ve learned quite a lot that allows me to live more peacefully most of the time, and to get to the root of the problem when it rears its ugly head. I’ve found that immediate application of Reiki really takes the edge off of most cravings. This is one of the reasons I advocate so strongly for learning Reiki; there’s nothing quite like having medicine at your very fingertips. It’s really quite simple. I place my hands on my heart and belly, set an intention to release the urge to eat half a family-sized bag of pretzels, activate the healing energy, and breathe deeply for a few minutes.

Relief comes instantaneously most of the time. Sometimes there’s a real physical need behind the craving and I am able to tune into this once I’ve calmed down a bit and am no longer compelled to violently shove my way to the snack aisle. Occasionally I will recognize that I’m actually hungry and my body is wanting carbs. That’s an easy fix and I’m often able to reach for a healthier option. (It’s horribly unfair that I love pretzels so much when eating them causing me back pain! For some people pretzels might be the healthier option. I’m not here to disparage them; they just aren’t good for me!)

More often than not, I recognize that the need behind the urge is emotional. It’s become my personal practice to return to this awareness when I have time to explore what’s really happening inside me. This is where the real power of Reiki healing lies. I just sit quietly contemplating the origin of the craving and open up to insights. It’s really just that simple. Getting present and listening while flooding myself with Reiki is the magical formula.

What I’ve noticed over the years is that the underlying cause is usually an energetic imbalance (feeling a lot of excitement or extreme fatigue) or any variety of emotional upset. It could be disappointment, anger, loneliness, worry, or … well pretty much anything! Once I acknowledge this precious information, I’m better able to make a plan that will meet my emotional needs and/or balance my energy.

If I’m feeling lonely, there is no chocolate chip cookie that will fix that for more than a moment. But calling a friend could do the trick. If I’m feeling sad, I have numerous strategies that can be helpful. However, I am absolutely certain (remember my extensive research!) there is no bowl of pasta or pint of ice cream that will be an effective remedy. Using Reiki helps me clear the source issue and voila! The cravings fade away.

Of course there’s nothing wrong with treating symptoms. I spent many years working on eliminating cravings. It was a huge improvement over the constant struggle to manage them or the shame cycle that resulted from giving in yet again. But the freedom of acknowledging my deepest needs, wants, and desires has been truly transformative. Now that I waste less energy failing to soothe my feelings by stuffing my face, I have more energy to invest in healing and creative projects.

Emotional healing is one of the amazing gifts Reiki has to offer. It’s fantastically simple and easy to learn and use. If you’re tired of relying on willpower to battle your cravings, please consider taking a beginners Reiki class so you too can enjoy the relief of getting to the root of the problem. I think you’ll agree that it’s a much more enjoyable way to live.

Reiki for Cravings

I’m not sure if it’s the approach of summertime or some astrological event, but I’m hearing…