stress relief

Today marks a turning point in which night and day are balanced.

In the northern hemisphere, summer turns to fall, and in the southern hemisphere, winter turns to spring.

Where I live, the days are getting shorter and the weather cooler. I love it! Sweater weather is coming.

Regardless of your relationship with this seasonal shift, it’s happening. No amount of bargaining will change the fact that the wheel of the year keeps on turning.

I find that the more aware and attuned I am to the seasons, the more harmony I experience in my life.

We can all benefit from aligning ourselves with the rhythms of Nature. What’s one small act you can easily do today that will create more balance in your world? Perhaps it’s curbing frivolously spending or taking a break from a busy workday.

I very much enjoyed this free breathwork meditation on Insight Timer. It’s only ten minutes long and applicable wherever you are on the planet.

https://insig.ht/lmTzInwxSWb

Every step in the direction we wish to go contributes to our health and happiness. Something as simple and accessible as practicing equal breathing techniques can have a profound impact.

Even one mindful breath can help. Join me now. Bonus points for an audible sigh on the exhale. Aaaaaah.

Happy Equinox!

Today marks a turning point in which night and day are balanced. In the northern hemisphere,…
A new client returned for his second massage to report that after his first session, he had slept without discomfort for the first time in months. Oh the joy of hearing updates like this! We still have work to do releasing patterns created by overuse and postural habits, but he was feeling hopeful.

He went on to tell me that his previous experiences with massage were so intense that he had been in massive pain for three or four days after each treatment. After experiencing relief from our session, he had come to the conclusion that the previous “strong sensation” (aka painful) approach had actually been making the condition worse.

I concur.

We had a brief chat about pain, the fight or flight reflex, and the resulting release of stress hormones and contraction of muscles. It’s my intention to create the exact opposite effect by encouraging the relaxation response: the release of feel-good hormones, unwinding tension, deep breathing, and muscle melting. It’s part of my mission to educate people about the power of coaxing the body into relaxation rather than attempting (and almost always failing) to force it into submission.

The thing that brings me even more joy is the next step in healing where people recognize that wellness is the result of listening to the messages their bodies deliver, treating themselves kindly, and taking good care of themselves. We live in a world that values doing more, going faster, powering through the upsets, and pushing ourselves incredibly hard. Until we begin to value wellness, relaxation, pleasure, and comfort equally as much, if not more, we will continue to suffer with chronic pain and promote the internal conditions that contribute to chronic and debilitating disease.

If you’re interested in a gentle, therapeutic massage and you live in the Philly area, this is my jam. I’m a no-pain specialist. The goal is to meet muscles where they are, sinking in until the first hint of resistance says stop, and lingering there while inviting the tension to soften. Schedule online here.

If you live elsewhere, I’d encourage you to do some research before scheduling a session. Some therapists are firmly entrenched in the “no pain, no gain” agenda and therefore going gentle is not in their repertoire at all. There’s a local studio that uses 💪 💪 💪 next to each of the providers’ names as an indicator of pressure range. Just like the 🌶️ 🌶️ 🌶️ rating in a Thai restaurant, you can better choose appropriately if you know what to expect.

(I’ll add that out of a possible five 💪, none of these therapists offered a level 1, and only two of the eight offer level 2. There was a whole lot of hoopla about seven of them going all the way to the max. Sigh.)

If you call a spa and ask for a certain kind of pressure, you’re likely to get a “yes”. Yes, sir, how high sir? The goal in a spa is to book lots of sessions and the front desk folks are eager to get you in the door. You might try asking which therapist they would recommend given your desire to relax instead of suffer. Since they might never have had a massage, might enjoy something entirely different, or don’t know the staff’s strengths and weaknesses, this approach is hit or miss.

Instead, I’d suggest going with an individual in private practice. Someone who works for him/herself and has hopefully created some content online so you can get an idea of what to expect. Sure, the spas and the franchises will have glossier websites with lots of bells and whistles. But this mission is about finding a good match for your needs, and that’s likely to come from a humble site like this one.

You could start simply by saying that you enjoy a relaxing/gentle/medium or light pressure/full body treatment and wonder if that’s available. Then listen to what they don’t say. They might agree, but with hesitation suggesting that this is out of their comfort zone or that they just aren’t into work like this, even though they can do it.

Personally, I’d rather have no massage than to suffer through one that hurts or to have to constantly ask the therapist to back off. AND there are enough of us providers out there, I feel confident that you can find a compatible practitioner if you do a little exploring.

Massage doesn’t have to hurt. I truly believe that it shouldn’t. But you’re going to have to advocate for yourself because much of the world doesn’t know this yet.

Painful Massage is Not the Answer

A new client returned for his second massage to report that after his first session, he…
I had a breakthrough last week in a chronic pain pattern. Woohoo! I discovered tension in an adjacent area that was torquing my pelvis and causing discomfort in my lower back, hip, and leg. This awareness is huge as it points my efforts towards the cause of the imbalance rather than chasing the symptoms.

Chasing symptoms never provides lasting results because the source of the problem remains unresolved. A particular symptom might diminish, only to have another appear in its place.

Nearly all of the problems that people bring to my office are symptoms. Despite near- heroic efforts, clients have not been able to resolve issues because they were looking at the superficial problem and not what was underneath.

I don’t say this with any judgment or blame. We don’t know what we don’t know, and we can only do the best with the information that we have at the time. I’m offering some new information that will hopefully be helpful moving forward.

I have long hair. It often gets caught in my coat zipper in the winter. It’s obvious that the problem is coming from the zipper, but I feel it in my scalp. There’s no amount of intervention at the level of my scalp that is going to yield relief.

The same is often true for that crick in the neck, the burning in the shoulder blade, the ache in the elbow.

My massage teacher used an analogy of a schoolyard. He said that the complaining muscle was like the nerd, but if you looked closely, you could find the bully lurking nearby. The bully is the source of the pain, the nerd is the one that suffers. (I pretty nerdy myself, so please don’t let this word cause offense. It’s just an illustration.)

OK, so now what?

It’s possible to work with a pain pattern on your own if you have the capacity to bring compassionate awareness to what you’re feeling and remain present through the discomfort.

Sadly, few of us have any training in how to do that. These are skills that can be learned and I’d fully encourage you to begin today. Can you be with yourself for two full minutes, or 15 deep breaths, with 100% of your attention turned inward? Start there and build up your tolerance over time.

See if you can separate out the emotions that may be stored in this area clamoring for your care. Or the stories about previous experiences and concerns about the future. If you have been raised in the western world, you mostly likely have been conditioned by society, Saturday morning cartoons, magazine ads, pop culture, and Instagram to have certain beliefs about your body and how it is “supposed” to look and function.

Then there’s the way you use your body, such as repetitive movement patterns, your posture, and the way your body has adapted to your environment. Perhaps the most disruptive, hidden influence is how the nervous system responds to anything unfamiliar as if it were a threat and causes muscles to tense. When this happens over and over again, the muscles sometimes get locked in their contracted positions, perpetually ready for a threat that never comes.

We could also look at causes for systemic inflammation such as allergens in our foods, toxins we’re exposed to daily, latent viruses, chronic stress, inadequate sleep, and mold spores in the walls.

Let’s not forget about the energy body. When life-force is depleted, our systems don’t have the juice they need to function optimally. When energy flow is blocked, chakras are underutilized. When the flow is clogged, often the backlog feels painful and we unknowingly look for ways to discharge this pent up energy that can have detrimental effects.

To be thorough, I’ll add that the soul also plays a role. Not that it needs healing, as it’s eternal and whole by nature, but because we can become separate from it through trauma and programming. When we’re aligned with our essence and purpose, the other elements of healing are more easily accessible.

In short, our body, mind, emotions, instincts, and soul are all intricately woven together and need to be addressed fully to heal. If you’ve been working with an issue to no avail, try switching your focus to one of the other realms.

Or try Reiki. It works wonders as it addresses all the parts, striving to bring them all into harmony. You can learn to give yourself daily doses of healing energy or book yourself a session. You don’t even need to leave home.

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Chasing Symptoms

I had a breakthrough last week in a chronic pain pattern. Woohoo! I discovered tension in…
In this day and age, most of us live lifestyles that are deficient in life-force.

We spend most of our time indoors, in climate control and recycled air, under artificial lighting. So we’re not absorbing energy from nature much of the time.

We’re inundated with chemicals that our poor bodies must consistently detox. From the food we eat to personal care products to downright toxic cleaning supplies, air pollution, water pollution, electronic radiation, and crops that need to be genetically modified to withstand the pesticides that would otherwise kill them… Well, it’s a lot and our systems utilize a ton of energy processing this junk.

Chronic stress and busyness further depleted our coffers, draining our energy tanks, and leaving us floundering.

Repressed and suppressed emotions are stored in the body and disrupt the flow of life-force. Same goes for unprocessed trauma and wounds from childhood.

In short, we spend more vitality than we accumulate. We’re in life-force debt. Most of us, most of the time.

I make considerable effort to minimize wasted life-force, to generate internal life-force and maximize my exposure to Nature, and still I would be in the red if it weren’t for Reiki.

Reiki is a natural form of life-force energy and practitioners are able to tap into it and use it for healing and to support goals such as creativity, connection, freedom, joy, resilience, and peace.

I suspect that our ancestors lived in the flow of this energy.

And then we got civilized and industrialized. We disconnected from Nature and began to honor the intellect over the body and the emotions.

People began to live longer, but with poor quality of life because they didn’t have any vitality in reserve.

Reiki is the easiest way I know to fill up your batteries and give the body what it needs to do what it knows how to do.

Yes, absolutely, the body has innate healing abilities. It has tremendous wisdom and incredible power. But it can’t function optimally on an empty tank.

If you’re in need of a jumpstart, consider a Reiki treatment. It’s a safe, gentle, yet powerful technique for giving yourself the juice you need to carry on.

If you’re in need of consistent life-force deposits, consider learning how to give yourself Reiki. It’s easy and anyone can do it. The capacity to tap into this universal energy is transferred from teacher to student in a Reiki 1 training- it’s not a skill that needs to be learned or a gift that comes naturally.

Anyone can learn Reiki and can use this healing energy to bolster well-being, heal core wounds and trauma, to break free from ancestral cycles, to tend to the inner child, to support all the body’s systems, to regulate the nervous system, to cultivate peace and joy and freedom.

I’m offering an in-person class in Philly, beginning February 27. I’m also open to teaching online; if that’s what you need, let me know.

And if you don’t have the capacity to learn how to do this for yourself, know that you can schedule a remote Reiki session, and receive the myriad of benefits from your home, in your pajamas, without needing to lift a finger.

If you have zero interest in Reiki, get yourself outside and start absorbing some of the life-force that is freely offered from the earth, the stones, the rain and snow, the trees, the wind, and the sun.

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Why is Reiki so Important?

In this day and age, most of us live lifestyles that are deficient in life-force. We…
Got stress? Fatigue? Anxiety? Overwhelm?

Don’t we all?! 21st century living isn’t for wimps. Between the toxins, the perpetual busyness, and the information overload, wellness requires some effort these days.

It doesn’t help that our nervous systems respond to deadlines, traffic, and emails from the boss with the same physiological response as if we were being chased by a tiger. All that adrenaline pumping in our veins and nowhere to go. We wonder why we feel anxious when we try to sit still and act normal, but our body is screaming for us to punch, kick, run, or hide under the table.

Yeesh. It’s exhausting.

For most of us, chronic stress and go-go-go lifestyles are here to stay. Rather than bemoaning that fact or hiding our heads in the sand, we can acknowledge that this is less than ideal and take action to mitigate the damage.

That’s where Reiki comes in. It’s a holistic healing technique that calms the nerves, relieves stress and pain, and stimulates the body’s innate healing abilities. It’s powerful, safe, effective, and…

wait for it…

Anyone can learn how to do Reiki.

Even better- you can use it for yourself anywhere, anytime.

While Reiki can indeed be shared with others, I see its most important use as a self-empowerment practice that allows you to actively contribute to your own wellness.

By “practice”, I mean it’s something that needs to be utilized consistently for the best results, like brushing your teeth or exercise. What better way to get daily deposits of universal life-force energy than to tap into the infinite supply and saturate yourself from top to toe?

Which is why I’m excited to announce my next Reiki 1 Certification course. This is an in-person training in my Mt. Airy (that’s a neighborhood in Philly) studio.

Four Thursdays, noon- 2pm

Feb 27, March 6, 13 & 20

(alternate date in case a class is cancelled because of snow- March 27)

This training does include how to give sessions to friends and family, but the foundation is using it as a self-care practice. You know, put your own oxygen mask on first.

You needn’t be psychic or spiritual. You don’t need to know anything about chakras or crystals or own a meditation cushion or yoga mat.

What it takes is curiosity, an open mind, and a willingness to follow through. The benefits come from the doing, not the learning. The class itself won’t change your life, but if you engage the tools I teach, well, get ready for the magic to unfold.

Investment = $300 with a $25 early bird discount if registered by January 31, 2025. Seats are limited. Literally- I only have 6 chairs, so if you want to join us, claim your spot now.

More info

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Reiki 1 Certification: Healing for Yourself and Your Loved Ones

Got stress? Fatigue? Anxiety? Overwhelm? Don’t we all?! 21st century living isn’t for wimps. Between the…
A new client just left my office. After the session was over, she proclaimed, “That was crazy!”

I’m always delighted to hear what people have to say about their time on the table. Everyone uses unique words to describe their healing experiences.

“I was floating on waves of peace.” Mmhmm, that sounds nice!

A lot of people drop into a deep place, not quite awake, not quite asleep. I suspect they are going into delta or theta brainwave grooves, but have no way of measuring. I just know that it’s an altered state that opens the gate for profound healing to happen.

I remember a time when I received a treatment from a friend. I’d been in her space dozens of times before, but on this particular day when the session ended and she left the room, I thought to myself, how did the door get over there?! I’d been so deeply immersed in the spiritual realm that the 3D space seemed off.

Some people see colors or hear music. Everybody is different. Most people just feel a warmth or a sense of calm and relaxation that eclipses their ordinary reality.

I wonder if this is how we’d feel most of the time if we lived lives more closely connected to our natural rhythms.

I guess I’ll never know, but it’s my goal to help people go there, into their deepest selves, as best I can. It’s like having a two week tropical vacation condensed into an hour- with no sunburn or hangover!

Want to surf the waves of peace? Get yourself some Reiki! And if you’re in the Philly area, go for the combo and try my Reiki-massage combo.

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Waves of Peace

A new client just left my office. After the session was over, she proclaimed, “That was…
I met a client this week who shared after her session that she was surprised that I didn’t painfully dig in to her muscles. (She came to me by way of a gift certificate and hadn’t seen my website where I very clearly state that my style of bodywork is NOT painful.)

It gave me the opportunity to address what I believe is a very common myth that pushing really hard on sore muscles is the way to create relief. In my experience, this is absolutely not true! At least for me and the thousands of people I’ve worked with.

What happens when the body feels pain? It tenses. How does that help? It doesn’t.

And when someone is experiencing chronic pain, their muscles are already tense and their nervous system set to hyper-protection mode. Even the hint of pain activates an instinct to fight or flee. How does that help? It doesn’t!

Instead, I find that a soothing, gentle approach allows the nervous system to calm and the muscles to melt. I meet the painful areas with a curious and compassionate attention: “Hello, I see you there, what can I do for you?” Rather than an attack: “Bad muscle, I’ll pummel you into submission!”

I don’t know where where this “no pain, no gain” mentality comes from in the massage realm, but it saddens me that people think that they need to suffer to experience relief. Or worse yet, that because they are unwilling to suffer, bodywork is not for them.

There are tons of deep tissue therapists out there who want to jab an elbow into your achy spots. If that’s your thing, you’ll have no problem finding someone to hurt you. But it isn’t me.

If you are pain averse and want your session to be enjoyable while leaving you feeling relaxed and gooey, that’s my wheelhouse.

Working with the nervous system, musculoskeletal system, endocrine system, emotional and energetic bodies is a lot more nuanced and effective than pushing hard on a sore spot.

It doesn’t mean a feather-light touch, either, just in case that’s a concern. It means meeting the tissue as it is, sinking in as far as it allows, and responding when it says stop.

It’s a technique that respects the body and its innate wisdom rather than trying to force an arbitrary solution from the outside.

If you’re in the Philly area, I’m here to be of service. If you live elsewhere, don’t be afraid to inquire with the provider before you book a session. Any respectable therapist will be able to answer your questions and confirm if they are able to offer a pain-free experience.

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Massage doesn’t have to hurt!

I met a client this week who shared after her session that she was surprised that…
This is a question often asked by a first-time client at the end of our session. This week it was a man wondering how I knew that his right foot had been troubling him when he hadn’t mentioned it during the intake.

He came for help with chronic back pain after having already been through all the tests and scans and been told by numerous doctors that he was “fine”.

But he didn’t feel fine. He was in constant pain. Clearly there was something out of whack, even if it couldn’t be seen on an MRI.

I know from experience that foot, knee, and hip alignment impacts the lower back. Put a rock in your shoe for a day and then notice how the pain ricochets up the legs and into the spine. It’s simple body mechanics that when we favor a sore spot, muscles compensate and protect and can easily throw the entire musculoskeletal system off balance.

I could tell this by looking at the position of his feet while he was lying on the table. I could clearly see that the right and left feet were very different from one another. I could especially tell when I touched his feet.

What he noticed is that I used a different technique on his right foot. I explained that because his feet were different from one another that they called for different strategies. My intuition and sense of touch informed me in the moment of how to proceed. Not some procedural manual or protocol.

A skilled and attuned bodyworker approaches each session with curiosity and compassion rather than an agenda. We’re not afraid to use gentle touch to explore painful areas to try and provide some relief.

I remember a time in college when my back was hurting. My friends and I were at a terrible sports bar. It was loud and crowded and I’d been standing too long. My roommate knew I was uncomfortable and laid her hand on my low back and made a few circular movements. I froze in place. Not because it was weird to be getting massage in that atmosphere, but because no one had even done that before and I’d been suffering from chronic pain for six years. I sensed then that the power of touch was some potent medicine even if I didn’t consciously understand what was happening.

It was many years after that aha moment that I found myself in training to become a massage therapist and Reiki practitioner and ever so eager to help others with chronic pain. An astrologer once told me that I was fated to work in the healing arts based on my natal chart. That may be true; it does seem like my entire life set me up to understand that there is more to healing than X-rays and prescriptions.

I soon developed a knack for finding the knots, the anomalies, the inconsistencies and exploring how to address them. It didn’t take me long to realize that pushing hard on a painful area did not produce lasting results. After doing thousands of sessions, it became easy to pinpoint the areas that needed attention. I can’t always explain it, but I soon become aware of an X that marks the spot during many sessions.

That’s how I know. That body doesn’t keep secrets, and I know how to listen.

I expect I’ll be seeing that man again soon. What’s really cool is that each session will be different because I’ll connect with him, his foot, and all his parts exactly as they are, discerning where the tension and constrictions lie.

My answer will be the same if he again asks, “How did you know?” I knew because I was tuned in to what the body was telling me and responded accordingly.

How Did You Know?

This is a question often asked by a first-time client at the end of our session.…
It’s no secret that health and happiness levels are influenced by self-care practices.

The often-overlooked element, however, is that self-care is an individual experience. Not a protocol that can be assigned by an outsider.

This is an inside process of learning to recognize what is needed in this moment, by this unique being. Which means it’s always in flux.

Sure, I have a foundation of self-care practices that are non-negotiable- rest, compassion, self-reflection, nourishment, movement, breath. But the strategies for addressing them is different all the time.

For me, there’s a lot of experimentation involved. I feel a need to strengthen my body, but how? There’s tons of advice online, but non of these people know my specific needs.

It’s been ages since I went to a gym, so I gave that a try. I don’t much care for the atmosphere (so many TV screens! WHY?) but it’s an affordable, easy way to access tons of fitness equipment.

After giving it a solid try for a month, I realize my original assessment was correct: not for me. But I didn’t really know until I tried.

Now I’m revisiting Foundation Training. I appreciate that it has a strong focus on anatomy, physiology and alignment. At one time it was very helpful to me but when a knee injury reappeared, I wasn’t able to do most of the exercises. That’s no longer an issue, so I’m giving it a go.

But here’s the takeaway: I’m not saying you should quit the gym and get an FT membership. I’m just sharing a real life example to make the point that we all need to get in touch with our own bodies and listen.

Look to the interweb for ideas, but do your own research.

Get the help you need if you’re suffering with a malady. AND then take that doctor/coach/therapist/counselor’s advise with a grain of salt and go with what feels right to you.

So many times I’ve worked with clients who followed the physical therapist’s or MD’s orders that caused more pain or delayed healing.

If you know something isn’t working, contemplate what you could do instead with this new data.

Be your own expert. Learn how to inhabit your body and hear your own truth. Take charge of your health and happiness and become a full participant in living your life fully.

Be willing to make mistakes and try things that dead end. Be willing to pivot when that happens and try something new.

Healing is not a linear path. Your zigs and zags, tangents and reroutes will be uniquely yours. Just pick one small thing and give it a try.

If you’re at a loss for where to begin, consider Reiki. This ancient healing modality can do no harm, can be received from anywhere in the world and feels incredibly relaxing.

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Unique-ify Your Self-Care

It’s no secret that health and happiness levels are influenced by self-care practices. The often-overlooked element,…