Last week I was in a neighborhood park. A few unruly dogs herded me away from my usual bench and I found a quiet spot by the little pond.
From there, I could see some shapes moving under the water. Upon closer inspection, I realized that there were several turtles swimming towards me. They were coming from all directions towards what I later learned was called the turtle bridge.
Locals had used slices of fallen trees to create a turtle- friendly habitat.
It was a joy to watch this mini-migration and I got to thinking about the spiritual message turtles share.
Slow and steady wins the race was the first thing that came to mind. This is an adage that suits me well and it’s always nice to be reminded that my natural rhythms are productive.
Then, after seeing a dozen comrades come together, climb up on the bridge and extend their necks, another thought began to brew.
Wait till you’re amongst friends before sticking your neck out. This was the behavior I witnessed and I wondered if there was something more to it.
Yes, I know it was probably a desire to soak up some warmth from the sun, but I’m wondering if there’s some metaphorical wisdom to be harvested here.
Last week I was in a neighborhood park. A few unruly dogs herded me away from…
It’s no secret that health and happiness levels are influenced by self-care practices.
The often-overlooked element, however, is that self-care is an individual experience. Not a protocol that can be assigned by an outsider.
This is an inside process of learning to recognize what is needed in this moment, by this unique being. Which means it’s always in flux.
Sure, I have a foundation of self-care practices that are non-negotiable- rest, compassion, self-reflection, nourishment, movement, breath. But the strategies for addressing them is different all the time.
For me, there’s a lot of experimentation involved. I feel a need to strengthen my body, but how? There’s tons of advice online, but non of these people know my specific needs.
It’s been ages since I went to a gym, so I gave that a try. I don’t much care for the atmosphere (so many TV screens! WHY?) but it’s an affordable, easy way to access tons of fitness equipment.
After giving it a solid try for a month, I realize my original assessment was correct: not for me. But I didn’t really know until I tried.
Now I’m revisiting Foundation Training. I appreciate that it has a strong focus on anatomy, physiology and alignment. At one time it was very helpful to me but when a knee injury reappeared, I wasn’t able to do most of the exercises. That’s no longer an issue, so I’m giving it a go.
But here’s the takeaway: I’m not saying you should quit the gym and get an FT membership. I’m just sharing a real life example to make the point that we all need to get in touch with our own bodies and listen.
Look to the interweb for ideas, but do your own research.
Get the help you need if you’re suffering with a malady. AND then take that doctor/coach/therapist/counselor’s advise with a grain of salt and go with what feels right to you.
So many times I’ve worked with clients who followed the physical therapist’s or MD’s orders that caused more pain or delayed healing.
If you know something isn’t working, contemplate what you could do instead with this new data.
Be your own expert. Learn how to inhabit your body and hear your own truth. Take charge of your health and happiness and become a full participant in living your life fully.
Be willing to make mistakes and try things that dead end. Be willing to pivot when that happens and try something new.
Healing is not a linear path. Your zigs and zags, tangents and reroutes will be uniquely yours. Just pick one small thing and give it a try.
If you’re at a loss for where to begin, consider Reiki. This ancient healing modality can do no harm, can be received from anywhere in the world and feels incredibly relaxing.
It’s no secret that health and happiness levels are influenced by self-care practices. The often-overlooked element,…
Clients often ask me if I felt any bad energy during their session. As if there was something inherently wrong with the energy in their system.
I don’t see it that way.
I often sense energy that is diminished from over-giving/under-receiving or coping mechanisms that have a draining effect. Sometimes it feels sluggish from sedentary lifestyles or blocked from suppressed emotions or unprocessed trauma.
Occasionally it’s clogged in one area, causing a build up upstream and depletion downstream.
Mostly I sense an imbalance in the flow or a general lack of energy. I don’t ever feel energy that is “bad”. I’m not sure there is such a thing.
There are definitely emotions that are uncomfortable; those that we dislike and would prefer not to experience. Our efforts at avoiding them disrupt the flow of energy, but still, I wouldn’t call any emotion “bad”. Unwanted, perhaps, but to label it as bad makes it wrong somehow, and I don’t think that’s helpful.
Many of us have beliefs we absorbed as children about which emotions are acceptable. However, those beliefs are not based on Universal Truths- just some authority figure attempting to make us easier to manage. Just because your third-grade teacher was not equipped to witness grief or anger doesn’t make those feelings bad. Yet we often integrated those messages and began judging our very natural responses to difficult situations as problematic.
I have yet to meet someone with bad energy. I’ve met lots of people who weren’t skilled at expressing themselves or their feelings and were maybe carrying around a lot of unpleasant baggage. I’ve met folks whose energy was not compatible with my preferences and those who didn’t know how to regulate themselves. People with erratic energy, big energy, chaotic energy, or overwhelming energy.
But not bad energy. If you’ve been wanting to get some Reiki healing sessions but worry about the practitioner picking up some bad energy, you needn’t. Reiki transforms and heals whatever isn’t in balance. It doesn’t push it out into the room. That’s something that only happens in sci-if movies.
Let’s stop thinking about our emotions, our experiences, our wounds or our energy as bad. They just are. That makes it a whole lot easier to welcome them, which is the first step in the healing process.
Clients often ask me if I felt any bad energy during their session. As if there…
I’m getting older and let me tell you, it’s pretty amazing! Today is my birthday and rather than lamenting the fact that I’m aging, I’m celebrating. I’m not supposed to tell you that I’m 53, but I’m delighted to do so! I’m not ashamed to be in my 50’s. Quite the opposite. I find it quite empowering.
I know who I am and what I want in ways that I never did when I was younger. It’s very refreshing! No more am I trying to fit myself into someone else’s expectations and the sense of freedom is invigorating.
We’ve been sold a narrative that once you reach a certain age, health begins to fail. Well, that’s just bullshit! It’s perpetuated by the marketing industry trying to sell us stuff that treats the surface symptoms, but never the root cause. If it treated the cause, we wouldn’t need to buy it anymore.
The vast majority of symptoms that I see are simply a result of chronic stress, energetic overspending and under-receiving, suppressed emotions causing a continuous cortisol drip, exposure to toxic chemicals, and neglect/misuse/abuse of the body.
We have control over much of this!
This is the work I do. Relieving stress and pain, integrating emotions, supporting the body’s needs so it can detox and repair, and filling up the energetic tank. I see it working day after day in my clients and students and I am a living, breathing, joyful example that making healthful choices consistently has a tremendous impact on well-being.
What is one thing you can do today to nourish yourself?
What is one thing you can do today to support your body, mind, heart and spirit?
What is one thing you can do today that reduces your exposure to chemicals- be it in food, water, personal care products or your environment?
What is one thing you can do today to protect your energy? It might entails saying NO, better yet, HELL NO! to something you don’t want to do.
What is one thing you can do today to move your body in a way that feels pleasurable?
Just one thing! Do that one simple thing for a week or two and then add another thing.
I bet you already have a thing in mind. Something that you’ve been thinking about for a while and just lacking the motivation to take the plunge.
Today is the perfect day to get started on the next level of your healing journey. Any empowered action in the direction you want to go will ripple outwards and affect others as well.
If you want, you can get started right now by placing a hand on your heart and making a commitment to yourself.
Perhaps you’d like to repeat these words from the mindful self-compassion tradition:
May I be safe.
May I be healthy.
May I be at peace.
May I be kind to myself.
May I make choices to support my overall wellness.
If you’d like some support, that’s what I’m here for! I do Reiki healing sessions for people around the globe and soothing, nurturing bodywork here in Philadelphia. It’s my mission to spread this message of self-care and empowerment. I’d be delighted to work with you if that sounds appealing.
But not today. Today, I’m going on a hike, eating fabulous food, reading a fun book and connecting with my friends. I’ll be back in the office tomorrow and ready to give from my overflowing tank.
I wrote an article over on Substack about my process of reviewing the year through a holistic health and spiritual journey lens. Check out Annual Review if you’d like to learn more about this radical way of thinking.
I’m getting older and let me tell you, it’s pretty amazing! Today is my birthday and…
Good Energy: The Surprising Connection Between Metabolism and Limitless Health by Casey Means, MD.
This book is blowing my mind! It has so much information about the causes of rampant lack-of-wellness and disease in our world and very straightforward remedies.
She exposes heavy duty conflicts of interest in the medical industrial complex, Big Pharma and the processed food industry.
Really, you want to know this stuff so you can make good choices about your habits to build optimal health.
There’s a lot of science and hard facts for those who want the numbers and nerdy stuff but it’s very readable. I can’t recommend it enough.
From her website:
ABOUT THE BOOK
What if depression, anxiety, infertility, insomnia, heart disease, erectile dysfunction, type 2 diabetes, Alzheimer’s dementia, cancer and many other health conditions that torture and shorten our lives actually have the same root cause?
The truth is, they do. And our ability to prevent and reverse these conditions – and feel incredible NOW – is under our control and simpler than we think. The key is our metabolic function: the way we make energy in our cells and bodies. The ability to make GOOD ENERGY in our bodies is the most important and least understood factor in our overall health, and the biggest blindspot in healthcare.
Good Energy: The Surprising Connection Between Metabolism and Limitless Health by Casey Means, MD. This book…
SPOILER ALERT: Eventually it all turns out well.
There must be something wrong with me.
That’s the unconscious belief I grew up with. It wasn’t part of my rational thought process, yet it was there, lurking beneath the surface and driving much of my behavior.
Looking back with the knowledge that I’ve garnered over the decades of practicing holistic healing and studying the body-mind-spirit connection, I can see how it was installed during my formative years, before I had the cognitive awareness to argue that it’s utter nonsense.
The choices I made as a child for navigating this belief system were nearly as damaging as the belief itself. I was afraid to express myself or to be seen, hell, I was afraid to even sense that I had needs, let alone to do something about them. I swallowed my feelings and tried to be invisible.
This constant fear did a number on my nervous system, causing me to be perpetually hyper vigilant, jumpy, tense and shut down emotionally. It steadily eroded my life-force and gut health and ushered in chronic back pain. Without the energy or nutritional building blocks to repair the damage, chronic anxiety mixed with depression and fatigue set in. Without the awareness of what was really happening, all I knew was that I was extremely uncomfortable almost all the time and had no tools for handling this.
Naturally I turned to dulling and numbing these feelings and sensations with whatever was at hand. Books were my first escape strategy. Later came overeating and sweets, later still alcohol and pot, and co-dependent and dysfunctional relationships. Let’s not forget the people-pleasing and perfectionist tendencies, poor boundaries and overgiving, overspending, and attempting to micromanage everything.
Perhaps the worst of all? The betrayal of self to keep everyone else comfortable.
I did it all with stoicism, pretending that everything was fine and I was in control of my life.
I was not.
Through a bizarre set of “coincidences”, I found myself in a Reiki workshop one weekend in 2002. Little did I know that this was a pivotal moment in my life and that my trajectory would be forever altered.
I wasn’t yet aware of the complete absence of wellness in my life, but I instantly noticed a shift in the way I felt. I was less tense, less anxious, more at home in my body and the pain in my back decreased noticeably.
That was enough for me to carry on with my daily Reiki practice, slowly uncovering layer upon layer of wounds and scabbed over psychic infections that were poisoning me from the inside out. Over time, my nervous system became regulated more often than not and I was able to find a sense of ease and belonging that had eluded me my entire life. I kept at it, healing whatever rose to the surface rather than pushing it back into the archives of buried emotions.
I felt increasingly better physically and emotionally, and my confidence and self-worth gradually grew. I began to get in touch with my innate creativity and to experience more joy, peace, and dare I say, even pleasure.
I developed the curiosity, compassion and courage necessary to do the inner exploration and discovered the core belief that seems to be the foundation of my ailments. There must be something wrong with me. I know it isn’t true, but it’s a weed with tenacious roots. I’ve been gradually digging them up and have stopped feeding this weed with self-blame and self-criticism.
I suspect there is a a soul agreement to clear ancestral wounding at play here as other limiting beliefs have been much more responsive to my efforts. Yet, step by step, I continue making headway.
Whatever the source of this programming, my path is simple. I slow down and pay attention to what’s happening in me and meet it with Reiki and the loving intention to heal. If I were to focus on “how” to heal subconscious belief systems or ancestral trauma, I’d likely trigger overwhelm and doubt that I could handle such complex work.
Luckily, I don’t need to know how. Reiki knows. I just need to apply it consistently and be willing to receive the benefits. It’s been quite the adventure, this healing journey of mine. It’s wild to think that it all began one day in a funky old adobe building in Santa Fe, in my first Reiki 1 class.
If you’ve read this far, I imagine that some part of my story has resonated with you. It’s likely your story has different twists and turns, and your symptoms are different than mine, but I bet you have a core limiting belief that is wreaking havoc. You might be aware of it, you might not, but you probably have a sense that something is off.
That something, my friend, is not you. There’s nothing wrong with you. Someone taught you something that isn’t true a long time ago. If you’re willing to turn and face it, it can be healed. You don’t need to know how. Reiki knows.
I can easily provide you with this healing energy. You’ll need to get sessions on a consistent basis to work through all the layers. It’s much more affordable, however, for you to learn to do it yourself. If you’re in the Philly area, I have a class coming up soon. If you’re elsewhere, let’s connect about planning a remote training.
Whether you decide to take action at this time or not, do know that you aren’t alone. It’s rare that I meet someone who isn’t affected by something similar to this. And it’s not their fault. Nor yours. Sometimes just knowing this helps to begin the healing process.
If you’ve never been told, allow me to be the first. There is absolutely nothing wrong with you.And your spirit remains undamaged by any of the experiences you’ve had in this lifetime.
SPOILER ALERT: Eventually it all turns out well. There must be something wrong with me. That’s…
Reiki really gets a workout in my life. I use it every day for a wide variety of things. Stubbed toes, difficult conversations, noisy neighbors, dentist appointments, sugar cravings, anxiety, getting the good parking spaces and staying true to myself are common applications.
In case you’re new here and don’t yet know, Reiki is an ancient energy healing technique that treats the whole self- body, mind, and spirit. It saturates all aspects of ourselves with spiritually guided life-force energy. It is safe and easy to use, yet potent and quite effective.
Like most of us, I’ve had some traumatic experiences in childhood that lead to some coping mechanisms that are no longer helpful for me as an adult. Rather than glossing over the wounds, ignoring their impact or letting them steer my life, I have the power to heal them with my loving attention and Reiki.
Like most of us, I’ve got some limiting beliefs buried in my subconscious that are not aligned with my conscious thoughts and values. Same with the cultural conditioning and inherited baggage. Recognizing and reprogramming my patterns is a lot easier with Reiki.
Like most of us, I’ve got a storehouse full of unexpressed emotions that are festering in the shadows. Reiki helps me to reveal and integrate these rejected, neglected and abandoned feelings so I can be free of their shenanigans.
Like most of us, I’ve got some aches and pains from decades of living life fully, not always having the best support or all the necessary information, and the accompanying wear and tear. Don’t even get me started on the hormonal changes of perimenopause! Reiki helps me to optimize my physical wellness and enjoy the greatest health available to me.
Like most of us, I experience occasional imposter syndrome, resistance to change, procrastination, self-doubt and decision fatigue. Reiki gives me to boost of energy I need to get myself together and put my best foot forward.
Like most of us, I still often wonder, even at close to 53 years old, what I want to do when I grow up, who I truly am underneath the outdated armor and survival mechanisms and what my purpose is in this lifetime. Reiki helps me get in touch with my inner wisdom and power so I can see more clearly and not sweat the small stuff.
Whatever you’ve got going on, if you’re willing to do the work and show up for yourself on a consistent basis, Reiki can help.
I’m offering an introductory-level Reiki 1 training beginning soon if you’re in the Philly area.
4 Thursday evenings, 6-8pm.
July 11, 18, 25 & August 1, 2024.
Investment = $250.
My classes are deliberately small because I enjoy the personal interactions and being able to witness the transformation in students from week to week.
Plus I want to help you find your unique path. This is not a one-size-fits-all training and it’s my intention to guide you to a way that suits you just perfectly.
You can find more information on my website, along with a link to contact me to apply.
Reiki really gets a workout in my life. I use it every day for a wide…
Join us beginning July 11th for this 4 week in-person training in Philly.
Reiki is an ancient technique for healing that utilizes universal life-force energy to stimulate physical, mental, emotional, spiritual and energetic wellness. It cultivates harmony, peace and vitality and removes blockages that stand in the way of experiencing the life you desire.
Best of all, it’s safe, simple and easy to use. Side effects include deeper sleep, reduced stress and pain, and being a kinder person.
Anyone can learn how to use Reiki. Yes, even you! There are no special skills or experience required.
It’s one of my greatest passions to introduce folks to this healing modality and to watch as they begin to transform right before my eyes.
We’ll meet on 4 Thursday evenings, 6-8pm. You’ll learn about what Reiki is, where it comes from, what it can be used for (almost EVERYTHING!) and how. We’ll practice giving ourselves and each other sessions and discuss how to adapt for your needs.
Join us beginning July 11th for this 4 week in-person training in Philly. Reiki is an…
There are many reasons you might have tight muscles. Many of them are worsened by stretching.
WHAT?
Yup.
When a muscle is habitually shortened, stretching can indeed help. If you just spent an hour lifting weights or jogging, i.e. contracting muscles to build strength, stretching them afterwards can help maintain range of motion. If you spend 12 hours every day sitting, your quads are probably chronically shortened and could benefit from daily stretching.
If a muscle is shortened through repetitive contraction or postural patterns, lengthening it will help recreate balance. Unless you go at it aggressively, in which case you will encounter the protective mechanism built into your soft tissue to prevent injury. If you override this, you will likely do harm. Best to stop just short of your edge, linger and attempt to soften.
So, mindful, gentle stretching can help some kinds of tight muscles.
But let’s look at other reasons a muscle might feel tight.
It could be overstretched. Imagine pulling a rubber band to its maximum length. It’s tight, right? Would stretching it release this tension?
No! It will make things worse. Overstretched muscles need slack to relieve tightness. The chronic tension you feel in the back of your neck and upper back? I can almost guarantee they are tired from holding your head up when it’s crept forward of your shoulders. These muscles are already at their limits.
A muscle will tense if any part of you senses danger. Think about getting punched in the gut. Did your belly muscles tighten defensively? Many of us have patterns of contracted muscles due to chronic stress and unresolved trauma. The result? Walking around unconsciously braced for potential attack- physical, emotional, verbal or psychic.
Trying to stretch these muscles is an act of war with yourself. They are holding on and you’re trying to pull them apart, which creates greater unease and sends a signal to the nervous system to tighten further.
Clench your hand into a fist. Everything feels tight, yeah? The solution is to send a signal to the muscles to let go. Trying to override messages from the nervous system that are trying to keep us safe causes more stress and… tension. Protective patterns are usually well-intentioned, but often unskillful, outdated and unnecessary.
Same goes for patterns of emotional protection. If you feel the need to guard your heart, your shoulders and chest might curve in defensively. These muscles will indeed feel tight but until the cause is addressed, any effects of stretching will be temporary at best.
It’s common for muscles to get recruited to protect an injury. If you have a micro tear in a tendon, stretching is going to aggravate it. After the injury is properly healed, stretching can help return to a balanced posture, but before then, those tight muscles are serving an important purpose.
Rather than systematically addressing all tightness with stretching, try something new. Something radical. Drop your awareness into the body, beneath the tightness. Sense what it needs. Is there anything you can soften with your attention and breath? What about shifting your alignment so that your skeleton is bearing more of your weight?
I wholeheartedly recommend moving the body through its full range of motion as a remedy for tightness that won’t worsen these issues. Some forms of yoga can do that- those that invite body awareness and deliberate alignment. Not so much the calisthenics varieties. Somatics is a form of movement reeducation that helps establish healthy patterns. I’m a huge fan of Gyrokinesis classes which do the same.
Addressing the sympathetic nervous system and chronic stress, however, is my number 1 recommendation. Deactivating the message that your brain sends to your muscles to tense will allow much of the tightness to simply melt away. The root cause is often not in the muscles but in the nervous system. The nervous system can be activated by our emotions or our memories and even just a hint of perceived danger can launch a full-on sympathetic response (fight, flight or freeze).
In my 20+ years of literal hands-on work of tight muscles, I can say without a doubt that most of it comes from stress and the nervous system. Many of my clients are trying to get relief by stretching and wonder why it’s not having any benefit. That’s because it isn’t the correct remedy most of the time.
It’s important to note that I’m not saying that stress needs to be eliminated. That’s simply not doable for most of us. Yes, definitely minimize the stressors that you can. AND find a way of managing the unavoidable ones.
It could be meditation, journaling, dancing, tai chi, qi gong, acupuncture, gardening, walking, or painting. Something that brings you joy and moves your body in a way that feels good.
Reiki and gentle massage are brilliant at activating the physiological remedy for stress as well as stimulating circulation and releasing tension. If you’re wanting some support on your journey, I’m here to help.
And in the meantime, if you’ve been stretching and stretching to no avail, give it a break. It’s possible that those muscles are already overstretched.
Luminous Heart Reiki & Massage 