A quick update on my Slowing Down for December intention. The universe heard my request and has responded with half of my clients cancelling appointments this week and last. It’s a good opportunity to let go of the ancient fear of not having enough, to re-examine the wisdom of the “careful what you wish for” maxim, and to renew faith that things always work out, often in unexpected ways.
For the greater part of my days, I’m camped out of my Bio-Mat, surrounded by a stack of books that I’ve wanted to read for ages, a cup of tea, my journal, and an array of colorful markers. There’s something about having a beautiful notebook and great pens that makes the task of inner exploration seem less daunting. As do my comfy pajamas- it’s hard to take things too seriously when you’re covered in lemons and wearing your favorite fuzzy socks. 🙂
I do have some structure provided by guided meditations and written exercises designed to help me uncover what’s beneath the surface identities that I present to the world. The process of letting go of attachments and conditioned beliefs can be unpleasant, and I have a circle of friends with whom I check in frequently. It’s helpful to hear that they are facing many of the same challenges, and like me, continue to show up and face whatever arises, nonetheless.
Curiously some physical discomfort has amplified-or is it that I’ve removed enough distractions that I can actually receive the messages my body is sending? I’ve pulled out some massage tools to apply gentle pressure andstimulate circulation. (This is key! The goal is not to punish muscles for misbehaving or to beat them into submission, but to give them some loving attention and bring awareness to postural and movement patterns. More on this in an upcoming post.)
I ventured out to the farmers market for some produce and have been getting out most days for walks, so I’m not entirely reclusive aside from work. The goal has really been to clear my schedule so I can tune into my needs and desires with minimal influence from those insidious “shoulds”. As it turns out, I prefer books and trees to small talk, media of all forms, and shopping. No surprises there!
Basically, I’m playing detective and discovering what I can let go of and what I can cultivate in order to move into the new year in the most authentic way. Being present with emotions and sensations seems to be the only way to get an accurate reading on what to keep and what to release. Being still and quiet supports the inquiry.
We’re really in the darkest of days here in the northern hemisphere as the moon wanes and the winter solstice approaches. It’s really no hardship to stay tucked inside my cozy little apartment as much as possible. While it’s not exactly easy either, I am grateful that I decided to give myself this gift of doing things my way. It’s my hope that you’ll lean into doing things your way too.