emotional well-being

We’re reaching that part of summer when I’m just over it. My resilience for heat and humidity has dwindled and I’m ready for falling leaves and pumpkins. Instead, we have winds that feel rather like standing in front of my blow dryer. 😅

Every morning I go out onto the porch for a sunrise meditation. Lately I feel like I’m entering a swamp when I step outside. At 6am!

Looking on the bright side, there’s no need to hit the sauna. Getting in the sweltering car a few times every day must have some sort of detox effect, right? And going into most stores has got to have benefits similar to a cold plunge, what with the 30 degree temperature differential.

I joke that I now have a 10am curfew. I don’t love being hermetically sealed inside for so much of the day, so I try to get out to the woods early. It’s a few degrees cooler by the creek.

I took a little video to remind me of this little oasis. May it offer you some relief and a touch of nature’s medicine. Imagine yourself being there in person, drinking in the fresh air and cool breeze.

Adapting my routine and bright-side-thinking can only take me so far, though. Let’s be realistic, mint tea and coconut water are refreshing, but they aren’t miracle workers.

Eventually my inner rebel emerges.

“You can’t make me stay inside!”

(It might help to explain that I give my internal voices a descriptive character name and speak of them as separate beings. It’s just a tool for understanding the workings of my mind. It ends up sounding like there’s a full cast in my head. Because there often is! Can you relate?)

Please note, this rebel is the same character who said, “You can’t make me go outside!” when summer began. 😆

She’s just contrary. But the thing about rebelling is… that’s not really freedom. When you’re just doing the opposite, breaking the rules, rocking the boat just to be different, you’re still controlled by the status quo.

Last year about this time, she came out and insisted we absolutely could go for a hike in the 95 degree weather. The hike itself was fine, but afterwards, a whopper of a headache erupted. The end result could hardly to be described as “freedom”.

What I did today was mediate a negotiation. Ignoring, suppressing or overriding the rebel generally fails. At best, it’s energy consuming and not much fun.

Same goes for the inner overprotective mother. She’s the one who’d prefer I remained at a consistent 72 degrees year round. Bah!

So I called upon the inner stern auntie, a role I have perfected in real life with my niece and nephews. I’m fair, but not a softie with them, and this wise, compassionate, mature part of me is best qualified for overseeing arguments between children as well as different aspects of myself.

Rule #1: Everyone has a chance to say their piece.

The rebel wants to go out and it’s past our 😂 10am curfew. Helicopter mom says no, it’s too hot.

Rule #2: We don’t rule things out just because they didn’t work in the past. Instead, we workshop ideas to improve them and plan accordingly.

I’ll spare you the details, but I sorted through options of when and where to go, what to bring, what I could do before and after in order to get a proper walk in the woods without ending up dehydrated and decrepit.

In this way of relating, everyone wins. The parent figure gets to keep us safe, the rebel gets to go out and experience some freedom, the auntie gets to play peacekeeper.

This approach works for all sorts of inner incompatibility. When I find myself resistant to doing the thing I promised myself I would or wouldn’t do, torn between two choices or completely clueless about how to proceed, I invite all the characters to a round table session and discuss how to meet everyone’s needs.

This engenders trust in myself and reduces future resistance and outbursts.

I learned this ages ago as an energetic practice of aligning head, heart and gut. Getting thoughts, emotions and instincts all onboard for decisions and actions. Since then, I’ve drawn on the IFS (Internal Family Systems) model. “No Bad Parts” by Dick Schwartz is a good entry point if you’d like to learn more.

The reason I’m using such a minor issue to demonstrate this technique is because I think it’s important to begin with the easy stuff. Jumping in to the deep end can backfire and cause emotional distress and a rift in self trust.

I’m happy to report that I’m back from the woods, showered, hydrated and feeling ready to meet the rest of the day. I’ve learned something about myself and am more likely to be self-compassionate moving forward as a result.

Whatever your day brings, whatever season you find yourself in, whatever inner turmoil might be brewing, I wish you harmony and peace. I hope these words can help you cultivate it.

Cultivating peace and harmony internally is essential to cultivating holistic health. Hit subscribe and stay connected for more tips and tricks to enjoy optimal wellness.

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The Rebel and the Heat Wave

We’re reaching that part of summer when I’m just over it. My resilience for heat and…
Modern medicine is finally starting to recognize the detrimental effects that chronic stress has on our health. Physiologically, it’s clear that living under a cloud of too much to do, too many to care for, too little support and too few resources is a recipe for illness.

We know that the fight or flight response helps in an emergency situation, but when triggered 10 times each day before breakfast, it inhibits the immune system. It reroutes energy that would ideally be used for detoxification, digestion, assimilation of nutrients, cellular repair, creativity and focus and leaves us feeling fatigued, anxious, tense and stuck.

Activating the relaxation response is the foundation of the work I do. The number one thing clients say to me after a session is, “I feel so relaxed.” Or some variation of that. Sometimes it’s, “I didn’t know it was possible to feel so relaxed.”

Fantastic!

And then people generally return to their default patterns which generally do not preserve this relaxation.

I’m not pointing fingers here. We live in a world that promotes stress and busyness as markers of value and dismisses rest, relaxation and listening to the body’s cries for help as weakness. It’s totally understandable that most of us never learned how to relax, why it’s so important or how to keep it once we’ve gotten a taste.

If you get your car detailed, it will look great at first. How long will it last? Well, that’s up to you, isn’t it? It could be a minute or a month, maybe even two, depending on how you use it and your habits.

Same goes with relaxation. There is no one application that is permanent. It’s something that needs to be cultivated. There isn’t a “one size fits all” way to do that, though.

For those who are primed to change their habits and commit to a different way of interacting with the world, a treatment can be a jumpstart into their new routines.

Others will need consistent treatment until they find their footing and can build and maintain their routines.

Others will see a monthly treatment as ongoing support for themselves and all the care they offer to the world.

Others don’t even know where to begin. If this is you, I commend you for reading this far and being willing to consider what might be very much out of your comfort zone.

If your comfort zone has gotten too restrictive and you’re ready to expand it, I’d suggest trying my Reiki + coaching treatment and we can have a chat about small, simple actions you can take as well as fill up your tank with healing life-force energy.

Wherever you are, I’m here to help. There’s no need to worry that you’re too stressed or too anything or not enough of some other thing. We all have to begin our healing journey from where we are. Rather than bemoaning our starting point we can instead use that energy to step in the direction we’d like to go.

Today’s a good day to take that first step, don’t you think?

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Relaxation as a Portal to Healing

Modern medicine is finally starting to recognize the detrimental effects that chronic stress has on our…
Tomorrow is the summer solstice here in the U.S. It’s the longest day of the year and the first day of summer. For my fellow Cancerians, it’s our birth month, the time when the sun enters our zodiac sign, shining blessings upon us. 🦀 🎂

All this sunshine and the resulting heat can easily tip us out of balance if we don’t take care. For me, irritation is very close to the surface this time of year.

Especially when I see temperatures in the high 90s when it’s only June! 😖

Given the choice of suffering greatly while feeling wilted and like a volcano ready to erupt or taking action to alleviate the excess heat, I choose prevention.

I enjoy the cooling effects of sun tea made with fresh mint leaves. Making cucumber water is as simple as dropping a few slices in a jug and letting the flavor infuse the water and has the added bonus of feeling fancy.

I’m especially fond of a pranayama practice called sitali breath. It’s sometimes called “taco breathing” as you make a shape like a hard taco shell with the tongue. No worries if you can’t do that (I recall a 9th grade biology lesson that says some people are genetically incapable of doing so); there’s a modification.

If you find yourself getting overheated just thinking about stepping away from the air conditioner, this can really help. Add a cool, wet towel to the back of the neck if you’re very heat averse or tend to generate a lot of internal heat.

https://yogainternational.com/article/view/beat-the-heat-sitali-and-sitkari/

The AC is cranking here at my office if you’d like to come have a treatment in the cool air.

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Happy Solstice!

Tomorrow is the summer solstice here in the U.S. It’s the longest day of the year…
Sat Yam Meditation for Depression/Anger/Grief Release

I’m seeing a lot of heightened emotions out there. Given the state of the world, it’s no surprise. Emotions aren’t a problem in and of themselves, but when we hold them in, they wreak havoc with our health, and when we fling them about carelessly, they wreak havoc in our relationships and contribute to the collective chaos.

There’s another way! We can alchemize our feelings using practices such as this meditation that my Reiki teacher Laura Bruno shares. Rather than repressing, suppressing, avoiding, escaping, or projecting you could engage in a process of responsibly and compassionately acknowledging and transmuting these powerful emotions.

It’s been a game changer for me and I hope you’ll give it a try.

Working with Uncomfortable Emotions

I’m seeing a lot of heightened emotions out there. Given the state of the world, it’s…
I often imagine a world in which children are taught important life skills in kindergarten.

Things like meditation. Nervous system regulation. Reiki.

How different things would be if everyone had the capacity to nurture calmness, vitality, and presence in themselves. I get goosebumps just thinking about it.

Which is why I just love teaching Reiki classes! There’s something magical that happens in Reiki 1 after the attunement, when students open their eyes and recognize that they now have lifetime access to this amazing healing energy.

I was telling my mother recently how excited I am about the upcoming training I’m offering.

Her response? “But then they won’t need you.” As if teaching people how to use Reiki for themselves was going to put me out of business.

I guess that’s one way of looking at it.

In my experience, though, it’s not usually the case.

Giving yourself a Reiki treatment every day is a profoundly healing experience. It is the fuel that allows long-standing problems to begin to shift gradually.

It’s not the same thing as leaving your home and the chores that need doing, coming to my cozy office which smells yummy and has soft music playing, and being the recipient of 100% of my attention.

We can all benefit from doing our work and cultivating a self-care routine. That doesn’t necessarily take the place of receiving support from a professional. It often does allow folks to go longer in between appointments, but most people continue to see me while doing their own thing too.

Taking a Reiki training doesn’t mean that you need to shoulder the entire burden for your healing journey. It just means that you’re willing to do your part and be on the team. It means you can have blasts of healing energy any time you want and share it with your friends and family.

And if the budget is super tight, yes, it does mean you can take the Reiki ball and run with it, taking full responsibility for your healing life-force energy deposits.

I want everyone to have access to Reiki in the way that works best for them. If you’re in the Philly area, check out my upcoming class. If you’re elsewhere in the world, send me a message and we’ll see if we can pull together a virtual training that suits your schedule. If you already have too much on your plate, schedule a session, in-person or remote, and I’ll do all the work.

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winter beauty

I Wish I Could Teach Everyone Reiki

I often imagine a world in which children are taught important life skills in kindergarten. Things…
A new client just left my office. After the session was over, she proclaimed, “That was crazy!”

I’m always delighted to hear what people have to say about their time on the table. Everyone uses unique words to describe their healing experiences.

“I was floating on waves of peace.” Mmhmm, that sounds nice!

A lot of people drop into a deep place, not quite awake, not quite asleep. I suspect they are going into delta or theta brainwave grooves, but have no way of measuring. I just know that it’s an altered state that opens the gate for profound healing to happen.

I remember a time when I received a treatment from a friend. I’d been in her space dozens of times before, but on this particular day when the session ended and she left the room, I thought to myself, how did the door get over there?! I’d been so deeply immersed in the spiritual realm that the 3D space seemed off.

Some people see colors or hear music. Everybody is different. Most people just feel a warmth or a sense of calm and relaxation that eclipses their ordinary reality.

I wonder if this is how we’d feel most of the time if we lived lives more closely connected to our natural rhythms.

I guess I’ll never know, but it’s my goal to help people go there, into their deepest selves, as best I can. It’s like having a two week tropical vacation condensed into an hour- with no sunburn or hangover!

Want to surf the waves of peace? Get yourself some Reiki! And if you’re in the Philly area, go for the combo and try my Reiki-massage combo.

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Waves of Peace

A new client just left my office. After the session was over, she proclaimed, “That was…
Do you know Jeff Foster? He teaches an embodied form of meditation. Very different than the new age-y approach of trying to escape the body.

He’s offering a freebie on January 14, 2pm eastern. I’ve done several of these offerings with Jeff and find them very nourishing.

It’s an opportunity to experience his work without charge. If you like it, you can sign up for his community; he will mention that. But, unlike most free offerings/masterclasses, his webinars have never felt like an infomercial.

(I’m not an affiliate, btw. Just a fan.)

If you’ve found it difficult to meditate in the past yet yearn for the myriad benefits, why not check it out?

“How do you get ‘there’?
You don’t.
Even if you did,
you’d still be here.
Be here.
That’s how you get ‘there’.
In presence,
in stillness,
let life carry you…”

– Jeff Foster

Let Life Carry You Webinar

A Different Way to Meditate

Do you know Jeff Foster? He teaches an embodied form of meditation. Very different than the…
I just got back from the most glorious hike. It’s drizzly and cold here in Philly, but it’s my day off and I wanted to go to the woods. While I was trekking through the trees, I chuckled to myself about descriptors people often use for days like today.

Dreary.

Miserable.

Dreadful.

Come on, now! You can write a story in your head about it being a miserable, rainy day, and it will most definitely be true for you.

But is it True, with a capital T?

No!

It’s rainy. It’s wet. The sky is gray. There are mud puddles. The fallen leaves are slippery. These statements are objectively True. That means I need to dress appropriately and be careful where I step on the trail.

So I did. No biggie. And you know what?

Nowhere did I find any misery.

Instead, I found fresh, clean air. Mud puddles! (My inner child was delighted to have a splash.) And magic. That’s the story I told myself, and for me it became True.

I did pass a couple along the path and we all agreed that it was wonderful being out there without much company. The fellow said that the rain keeps the amateurs away and we all had a good laugh.

As adults, we have myriad opportunities to stretch our comfort zone and rewrite our stories. If we don’t, the zone shrinks over time and we begin to lose freedom of choice. It’s up to each of us to recognize how much discomfort we can face in order to grow and build resilience. Or we can wallow in our restrictive demands for comfort and forever remain an amateur.

For me, hiking in a drizzle is not much of a stretch. Perhaps that’s because I have a great affinity for water and a disposition and constitution that enjoys the cold. There are other areas of life that are much more challenging for me, and this new insight has all sorts of ideas brewing about how I can better meet them with grace and willingness if not ease.

And it all begins with the words I use to describe the event/situation/environment I choose to face. Will it be dreadful or simply unknown? Dreary or just wet? Miserable or potentially magical?

You tell me.

(Please do! I’d love to hear what words you use to rewrite an old story that keeps you from experiencing absolute freedom. What’s your rainy day equivalent?)

Love Me a Rainy Day!

I just got back from the most glorious hike. It’s drizzly and cold here in Philly,…
I recently saw a post online about self-care not being enough. It immediately caught my attention. I was intrigued thoroughly, mostly because it triggered my argumentative streak. The man went on to say that he was an active participant in self-care, but it wasn’t enough to prevent burnout.

He exercised daily and ate lots of vegetables and meditated regularly.

He also worked 60+ hours each week and had a few side gigs going.

While I can’t fault him for the self-care aspect, I’d say it was an incomplete attempt. Movement, nourishment, and mindfulness are all excellent practices. But they don’t override our need for a healthy work-life balance.

In my eyes, self-care includes knowing how much we can handle and modifying our lives so that we don’t overdo it.

It’s not that self-care wasn’t enough, but that he ignored part of the equation.

You’ve heard it all before- we all need adequate nutrition, hydration, oxygen, sunlight, exercise and rest to be healthy. You can eat all the broccoli in the world, but if you hardly ever drink water, it’s not going to be enough to stay well.

I’d like to redefine self-care as caring for ourselves with kindness and curiosity. This means paying attention to what we need and responding accordingly rather than following a protocol prescribed by a so-called expert. What I need is very different from what you need. Heck, what I need in this moment is different from what I needed last week. It’s always changing.

This requires developing our self-awareness and capacity to respond with compassion (rather than the pushing/forcing/punishing energy I often seen in runners or folks at the gym).

I endeavor to speak to myself the same way I would to my 10-year-old niece- I wouldn’t shout at her for getting something wrong or berate her for not trying harder or doing more. I’d be encouraging and willing to explore what could be done differently next time.

Rather than jumping on some TikTok bandwagon and following rules developed by someone who has a completely different constitution, history, and lifestyle than yourself, what if you slowed down and listened to your body? To your heart?

This, my friends, is revolutionary behavior and exactly what we need to thrive in a world that is full of stress and toxins. A few years back, I did a 40-day series on self-care if you need some ideas. You can search for the “Radical Self-Care” posts.

But don’t take those articles as a prescription or even a recommendation.

You do you. How could I know if you need more rest or activity or broccoli?

What is one small thing you could do for yourself today that would be a step towards optimal wellness? Don’t overthink it! I bet something has already popped into your mind. How can you make it happen? And this is an important step- afterwards, acknowledge the rewards of your efforts and give yourself a pat on the back. That will make it more likely that you’ll keep going.

Redefining Self-Care

I recently saw a post online about self-care not being enough. It immediately caught my attention.…