Tosha Silver on How to Deal with Difficult People

Ooooh! This is fabulous.

Here’s the gem if you don’t want to spend 7 minutes watching this video: “Oppositional energy strengthens the problem.”

Meaning if I can soften my response to someone who isn’t behaving the way I want them to, they don’t need to be as committed to their course of action.

Tosha uses gratitude, which can be a big step in certain situations. Perhaps acceptance or neutrality might be an easier entrance point until gratitude muscles get built up.

Either way, it’s a big change from the inner fuming that is so popular in our culture!

I have a bit of an issue with labeling people as “difficult”. Really it’s just behavior that doesn’t conform to my preferences. I’d prefer this was called “How to Deal with Difficult Situations.” Does that make me difficult?

Embodied Gratitude

If you’re looking for a way into a new gratitude practice or wanting to turn up the dial on your current efforts, tapping into the feeling sense is a helpful approach.

It can also help to understand why our minds are so much more easily drawn to the negative and we have to actively pursue an alternative.

I made a short video to offer support for anyone who’s floundering or whose oomph is fading. I think these super-simple tricks will make it easier to cement your practice because it feels so good.

If you’re interested in going deeper into body-mind-spirit healing, let’s connect! I work with people in a variety of ways, including intuitive coaching, remote Reiki, and Reiki classes. If you’re in the neighborhood, there’s Reiki-massage and Reiki in Philadelphia.

1/1/23 Bring it on!

Here we go! A new beginning. I’m heading out to get my boots muddy while the masses are still asleep. But before I go, I wanted to extend an invitation to welcome more good into your life.

Gratitude is an amazing practice. It’s a powerful way to shift my vibration and attract to me more of what I want. (Worry does the opposite!)

Can you find 10 minutes today, to start your new year off with an intentional action of creation? Rather making a dry list of the usual suspects, my suggestion is to really dig deep, to tap into your inner realm, and savor the feeling of gratitude. Turn it up! Let it loose. Roll around in it. Drink it in.

You might not see immediate results. But done on the regular, this works magic! It’s not a tool for bypassing troubles, fears, or pain. (Although that might be suggested by law of attraction misunderstandings.) Nope, this is not an either/or situation. It’s a both/and situation.

I can experience both pain AND gratitude. Gratitude for the pain is probably a leap in the now, but might become apparent in hindsight. I’d suggest starting with something easier if you’re new to this.

Gratitude for my happy place by the creek comes easily and effortlessly.

Gratitude for the sun and air and rain that allows plants to grow and animals to thrive. Gravity. That’s a good one! I don’t often think of it, but without gravity things would be somewhat challenging!

So this is not an invitation to escape your problems, but to offset the effects of stress and chaos. Yes, the mortgage needs to be paid and the children need to be fed. Rinse and repeat. Why not raise your vibration, feel as good as you can about yourself and your circumstances, and deliberately influence your future while chopping wood and carrying water?

There’s still time to sign up for my NYD Intention Setting event on Meetup today at 3 EST. I have a juicy plan lined up and Reiki standing by to enhance the process.

Icy Beauty

We had some crazy cold temperatures and frigid wind last week. It hasn’t risen above freezing yet, so the gorgeous effects have been preserved. Happily it’s gotten less cold; enough so that it no longer hurts to breathe, and I ventured out today. I documented some of the sights for you to enjoy if 28F doesn’t sound like fun to you.

I actually found myself overdressed once I started moving. I suppose the second wool sweater was a bit too much, and ended up peeling it off and carrying it home. I seem to be more warm blooded than most and have a pretty hearty constitution. I find the cold to be invigorating! And it keeps the crowds down, which is a bonus in my eyes.

Whatever you’re doing today, I hope you’re warm and toasty. May you be peaceful and full of joy.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Happy Thanksgiving to my American readers! May you be safe, happy, healthy, and peaceful wherever you are. 

I’m also celebrating my 20th Reiki anniversary today! It was this day in 2002 that I received my first Reiki 1 certification (I say “first” as I’ve completed the training a total of three times over the years, being the nerdy lover of learning that I am.) from my teacher and current- day friend, Laura Bruno. Thanks, Laura! ❤ I can’t imagine where I’d be without your magic. 

Many of the things for which I am thankful, today and every day, have been enhanced by my ongoing Reiki practice. Health, relationships, career, prosperity, happiness, and creativity; each has been improved by the steady influx of divinely guided life-force energy. 

Everything except my true self is being gently transformed- all the limiting beliefs, stories held in the ego-mind, suppressed emotions, blocked energy, and unhealthy coping mechanisms. I’m basically a long-term alchemy project! Reiki is removing impurities to uncover the pure essence of who I truly am; revealing the gold that had been disguised by lead. 

In the beginning I was solely interested in pain relief and being free of the chronic discomfort that subtly (and sometimes not-so-subtly!) directed every aspect of my life. Eventually I discovered the underlying mental and emotional patterns that locked the physical pain into place and began the work of exploring the psycho-spiritual realm. Over time, I began to align, step by baby step, with my soul’s purpose. I’m not saying that it was easy or pleasurable the entire time, but I was gently guided and rewarded by this magnificent force called Reiki. Knowing I wasn’t lost or alone, even when it seemed that way, gave me the courage to keep going and accept responsibility for creating the life of my dreams. 

Giving thanks is a consistent part of my daily ritual. It’s a simple way to access a higher vibration and invite more good to flow towards me. I can actually feel the energetic shift that takes place within me. This instantaneous feedback is great motivation as it feels so good!

Gratitude can be used as a spiritual bypass strategy- overriding uncomfortable emotions and shadow aspects of the self in order to feel better in the moment. That’s not what I’m suggesting here! Instead of using gratitude as yet another distraction from being present in the moment with whatever is active, it can be a useful touchstone to remind us that life is a flux of ups and downs. It’s possible to experience both grief and gratitude, anger and gratitude, fear and gratitude. There is room for it all. 

There’s always something to be grateful for, even when it might not feel that way. Oxygen. Gravity. Bees. Wifi. Indoor plumbing. Sunshine. Sticking to the basics can be an easy introduction. Next time you’re doing an inventory of that for which you are thankful, tune in to the energy of gratitude rather than merely making a mental list. That will add some oomph to your practice and open up a whole new level of well-being. 

What are you most grateful for today?

Grateful for the Simple Things

Last week, my brother sent me a text with a picture, saying that my nephew wanted me to see it. Since neither of them generally initiates contact with me, I was especially delighted. Since I was having a difficult day, it was especially heartwarming.

Allow me to introduce Captain Theo and Rosie. 🙂 I dare you not to say, “Aw…”!

A friend declared this a “cuteness explosion”, and I couldn’t agree more. Somehow the dining room background just makes it all the more precious. I’m sharing this here for anyone who needs a pick-me-up. It’s a good reminder that the simple things in life can be the most uplifting.

I am grateful. ❤

Full Tank

I’m noticing a tremendous improvement in the quality of my life as I begin each day with Reiki. I fill up my tank with healing energy every morning, which gives me the juice I need to honor my value of showing up in every moment with gratitude, kindness, and non-judgment. I’ve become more accustomed to feeling joyful and remembering my wholeness, which allows me to quickly notice when I’m out of alignment.

The moment I begin to blame, criticize, judge, or disapprove of myself or another, I can feel my mood begin to plummet. I recognize this as a warning that I’m leaking my precious life-force energy and disconnecting from my True Self, my sense of purpose, and my divine mission to be a loving presence on this planet. The fuller my tank, the easier it seems to be to notice when I get off track.

The fuller my tank, the more I have to share with those who cross my path. Rather than offering up my last crumb, I’m able to give from the overflow of my ki (life-force energy), knowing it can easily be replenished from an unlimited source. When I’m running low on ki, I’m no good to anyone and my crankiness can only bring others down. Just like the airline attendants have been telling us for decades: put your own mask on first, and then you’ll be better able to assist your neighbors.

Reiki is but one of countless ways to energize myself. I find creative expression and time spent in nature to be almost as uplifting. Yoga, dance, music, prayer, inspirational reading, video chats with my niece and nephews, preparing and enjoying meals made from whole foods (meaning real/unprocessed food, not the store!), connecting with kindred folk, and being of service to my community all contribute to my sense of fullness. So can simply sitting on the porch while enjoying a cup of tea, the birdsong, and a gentle breeze.

It seems to me that it doesn’t matter how we fill up, only that we do it frequently. What I love about Reiki is the ease and simplicity, as well as the fact that it’s always available, no matter where I am, what time it is, or what I’m doing. Anyone can learn Reiki in a short period of time and have access to this healing energy for a lifetime. If you’re interested in experiencing this seemingly magical gift, I’m here to help.


Ki is in the Air!

It’s practically impossible not to notice the abundance of life-force energy that is available during the spring! While Ki is a universal energy, always present, and easily accessible, it’s simply more obvious this time of year. I can feel it in the gentle rain and the cool breezes; I hear it in morning serenades of the early birds and in the laughter that floats up from children playing on the sidewalk. It’s easily seen blowing through the sky as fluffy clouds, the brilliant new leaves trees proudly display, and in the prolific blossoms that fall from branches to litter sidewalks like confetti.

During this time of nature’s renewal, let us remind ourselves that the world offers us a wealth of Ki. All we need do is receive it. It is our natural state to be in the flow of abundance, health, peace, love, and joy that the universe provides. Our limiting beliefs, thoughts, habits, and attachments can block this natural flow. Reiki is an amazing tool for restoring flow and balance, yet it is just one tool. Another powerful tool is awareness.

Cultivating our awareness of the beauty that surrounds us, of the elements of nature, and the joy of life is a potent practice for building wellness and strengthening purpose. Replenishing our reserves from the vast, omnipresent quantity of universal energy is a simple technique that can be done throughout the day. Merely noticing the beauty of a flower, a smile, a fragrance, or a sound can raise our vibration and create an opening for healing energy to enter. The act of appreciating these gifts and expressing gratitude can compound the ability to receive Ki.

While it is indeed lovely to receive the blessing of a healing treatment from a practitioner (I’m soooo looking forward to my Reiki treatment in a few days!) and super-important to engage in daily self-care practices, there are countless opportunities throughout each day to tap into to the abundance of life-force energy that surrounds us. The essence of life is never farther away than the air we breathe. Let’s all inhale deeply, and saturate ourselves in the essence of springtime Ki.

Reiki for Moving

It’s no big secret that I’ve moved loads (pun intended!) of times. I’ve lived in all four time zones of the continental US and have done some major criss-crossing of the country. It’s rare for me to have the same address for more than 18 months. Just ask my mom, who learned long ago to use a post-it note in her address book for easier updates. So it was not a surprise when I found myself looking for a new home last month. I had been renting the same room for a year and a half and it was time for an improvement.

I’ve used Reiki to support each of my relocation efforts for the past 13 years. (That includes three states, two time zones, and about ten post-its.) I’ve developed some tips that I think others will find helpful. My main objective, however, is to demonstrate how Reiki can assist us in creating positive change in our lives. This healing energy aligns us with our highest good and gives us the clarity and motivation to follow our internal guidance.

The technique I use is quite simple. I invoke all the Usui Reiki symbols for healing any blocks I have to experiencing my highest good. I fill my energy field with life-force energy and allow myself to marinate in the healing vibes. I imagine how I would like to feel in my new home. It’s really as simple as that. I don’t make lists of the desires I have for carpet vs hardwood floors or any such specifics; I leave that up to the Universe. I tune in to the sense of feeling comfortable, safe, and welcome, and loving my home. I send distance Reiki to my future, knowing it will support me in attracting the perfect location and transitioning gracefully.

This certainly does not mean that I take no action other than visualizing my hopes. It is, however, my first and most important step in the process. Once Reiki is activated as my personal moving coordinator, I receive inspiration and information that leads me on my way. I might get an impulse to contact somebody or investigate a website. I could be guided to turn left unexpectedly and to explore a neighborhood off my beaten path. I don’t just sit around waiting for my new address to be delivered to me, and neither do I run around like a crazed, desperate woman frantic to make something happen. I tune up, tune in, and take note. Intuition invariably shows me how to proceed.

I also spend time filling my current home with Reiki. It’s important to express gratitude for what we have in order to bless our future (thank you Louise Hay for teaching me this important lesson!). Quite often, once one gives notice that they are moving, resentment or disappointment can brew. Keeping the current situation harmonious and balanced is vital to the process of creating a harmonious and balanced future home.

From that point on, it’s simply a matter of basking in Reiki energy, trusting the guidance that comes, and taking inspired action. Whatever is on the day’s agenda gets Reikied before, during, and after; and this leads to clarity about creating future agendas. Sometimes the message is: wait. I got that message daily for about ten days straight. So frustrating! Yet even though there was so much to be done, it wasn’t time yet. So I waited, with varying degrees of patience, until the green light appeared and then it was time to pack boxes full throttle.

Interestingly enough, on the big day, I ignored some guidance. Not intentionally, but I was tired and there was a lot to do. Consequently I was involved in a minor fender bender. I’m quite sure that I had been tuned in, rather than in go-go-go mode, I could have avoided this delay. Luckily no one was hurt and I was forced to slow down. Such a good reminder to pay attention, and that when we ask for Divine Guidance and Assistance, it is ultimately our responsibility to receive it. Lesson learned and I’ve moved on to turning my new space into a home that’s filled with beauty, comfort, gratitude, and of course, Reiki.

Reclaiming the Feminine

Lately I’ve been on a quest to discover the Sacred Feminine within me. Part of that process has been to understand what those words even mean! At first glance, feminine energy seems to be soft, compassionate, passive. While these qualities are indeed an aspect of what I was seeking to uncover, they are far from the whole. I’ve come to realize that there is also a fierceness that is sometimes present in deep femininity (think of a mamma bear protecting her cubs). As it turns out, what I really wanted was to embody this power in a gentle, loving way.

I also began to realize that there is a world of difference between the feminine quality of creativity and the trait of passivity. They might look the same from the outside, but from the inner perspective, they are as different as night and day. Just as we can’t watch a pregnant woman growing a baby, we know that is exactly what is happening. Magnetism is the same. We might look like we’re sitting around doing nothing, but we are instead using this feminine power to get clear on what we want, and are drawing it to ourselves through the practice of Being rather than Doing.

Reiki self-treatments help me to move through stuck emotions as well as to discover remnants of stuckness needing to be released. They help to soothe the ruffled feathers of the healing work I am doing. I know I have much to learn as I continue this mystical journey, and I trust in the energy of Reiki to support me along the way. I’m certain that this process works for uncovering the Sacred Masculine as well. I’m not entirely sure what that path looks like, but I suspect it’s a process embracing the journey from aggressiveness to assertiveness.