healing

As 2016 draws to a close, I’ve been reviewing my challenges and successes in order to make a plan for the new year. The question that seems to be the most valuable to my inquiry is: how can I feel even more joyful? And this leads to an application of my economics degree: what is the smallest investment that will bring the largest payoff? (Yes, I have indeed begun to integrate all of my knowledge to support my personal growth!)

The answer that popped into my mind was hardly surprising. Music. Music can shift my mood in an instant. Dance. Combining creative, free-style movement with uplifting tunes can totally elevate my vibration very quickly.

In support of creating the most happy and healthy 2017, I’ve decided to commit to dancing every morning. Just for one song. (You may have heard me talk about this trick before. Commit to one small act and very often a chain reaction gets triggered. Before you know it, your resistance has disappeared and you’re eagerly complying with your self-care strategy.)

I think this idea is so brilliant, I’ve been engaging with it for the past week. And loving it! I actually wake up looking forward to my three minute dance party. Which often turns into a ten or fifteen minute dance party. But when it doesn’t, that’s cool too.

So rather than choosing resolutions that smack of suffering and deprivation, I’d like to encourage everybody to explore doing something they absolutely love, something that feeds the soul, on a more frequent basis. Beginning every day by inviting joy and vitality is a sure fire recipe for a happier life, don’t you think?

Onwards!

As 2016 draws to a close, I’ve been reviewing my challenges and successes in order to…
Lately I’ve been attempting to talk to my clients about doing less. Ironically, I seem to be triggering the fight or flight reflex when I suggest resting or doing activities to calm their frazzled nerves. The more I learn about stress, the more certain I am that is the root of much of the pain and discomfort I see in my practice. Yet the mere mention of managing stress or making lifestyle changes to subvert inflammation (a symptom of stress) seems to create more of it!

The inner-detective in me is now on the job. Solving this mystery could benefit most of us. I don’t have the answers yet, but here are some of the questions I’m asking. I’m keeping the inquiry personal, because I can’t answer for anyone else. But I do believe it could be expanded to include any other curious seekers. After all, we share the same basic needs.
- What would happen if I did less and allowed myself to “just be” more often?
- Who would I be without my to-do list, my accomplishments, or my aspirations?
- Why am I so resistant to slowing down?
- What am I worried about feeling/sensing/thinking if I do slow down?
- What if I have created my circumstances by thinking that if I do more, I’m a better person?
- What if my constant striving has led to an unhealthy adrenaline-fueled lifestyle?
- What if my thinking created the lifestyle, which created the stress, that created the inflammation, that created the pain I experience on a daily basis?
- Why would I want to continue thinking in the same ways that lead to suffering?
- Why would I resist retraining my mind to think in newer, healthier ways that support a peaceful lifestyle with less stress?
- Am I willing to re-examine my values, thoughts, and lifestyle choices to support optimal health and well-being?
My preliminary conclusion is that I often feel stress because society expects me to behave in certain ways that are in conflict with my core values. While my ancestors were dependent on the approval of others for their survival; I am not. As I get clear about my truth, my unique path in this world, and my soul’s mission; I become painfully aware that catering to the status quo is not only interfering with my sense of self, it is making me ill. As I find the courage to make baby steps to follow my own heart and my own dreams, I feel a sense of empowerment and vitality that is motivating in and of itself.

When it seems like the whole world is swimming against the current, it’s scary to imagine what would happen if I just stop struggling and float with the current. It’s uncomfortable to imagine losing the companionship of all the familiar swimmers around me. It’s upsetting to imagine that I’ve been pushing so hard my entire life to go nowhere I want to go. But what if simply releasing this struggle and facing the discomfort, the unfamiliar, the change of direction is the answer I’ve been searching for but couldn’t see? What if I’m the one creating all the stress and pain in my life?
Less is the New More

Lately I’ve been attempting to talk to my clients about doing less. Ironically, I seem to…
Emotions are running high lately. I’m observing various states of distress, confusion, shock, anger, and grief amongst my clients and friends. I’ve experienced all of that myself and have settled mostly into a space of trust, probably because I’ve been treating myself with a steady supply of Reiki. Over the years I have seen what denying, suppressing, identifying with, or numbing emotions can do to a person’s health. I now understand the value of feeling, expressing, and eventually releasing emotions in order to heal. Reiki supports this process.

I am no good to anyone when I’m reacting from a place of hurt, victimhood, or rage. When I am standing in my power, I am a better advocate for my needs as well as for my clients, my friends and family, my community, and my values. When I am firmly rooted, open-hearted, clear-minded, and connected to Spirit I can best hear the guidance I am offered and able to take action. The most helpful thing I can do for my traumatized country is to first take care of myself- physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually, to prepare for whatever my next assignment is.

If only I knew a self-care expert who could guide the way. Oh wait, that’s me! In this time of turmoil, this is the medicine I have to share. Now more than ever we must listen to the voice within and take good care of ourselves. This means being healthy and vibrant, emotionally balanced, and level-headed. Getting there is indeed a practice. Every morning I set an intention to shine my light, and 1,000 times I am tested, fail, and recalibrate. It is a journey that requires constant course correction. Acts of self-kindness provide comfort along the way and enable me to keep trudging ahead.

I’ve been reviewing my 40 day Self-Care Journey blogs. What a blessing to have enjoyed that experiment and have the rewards available at a time when I need them. We all have different needs so it’s important to know what fills your tank. I humbly offer some suggestions below.

Spiritual Practice, including practices of meditation, forgiveness, and being of service

Release through dance, kundalini yoga, and rebounding

Limit gadgets and screen time

Affirmations and Gratitude

Take care of your body: chew, dry brush, yoga , hydrate, limit caffeine, get a massage, savor healthy brownies

Boost your Spirit/ Laugh, celebrate, be in nature

Rest, take a break, create spaciousness, downtime, PJ time

These are merely my favorites. What really matters is that you find sustainable comfort (think hot bath, not tequila shots!) that works for you, AND that you do it. Repeatedly. Because the world needs us to be in top shape to move forward from here.

Back to the Basics

Emotions are running high lately. I’m observing various states of distress, confusion, shock, anger, and grief…
Defining “spiritual practice” is a task that I’ve been avoiding for some time now. In the broadest sense, it includes the activities that help me remember The Truth about who I am: a spiritual being having a human experience. Some practices anchor in the sensation of this truth. Others increase my awareness of the beliefs that cover it. Many are designed to open my heart and release the layers of fear that keep me separated from the divinity within.

I’ve discussed many of the individual practices over the course of my journey; meditation, yoga, mindfulness, affirmations, letting go, connecting with kindred, nature, and kindness toward myself are but a few. These are all exercises or ways of being that establish an awareness of The Truth that resides within me; that I am safe and I am loved, I am always guided and protected, and everything I need has already been given me.

Given this awareness, I’ve come to recognize that spiritual practice in all its forms is the cornerstone of taking good care of myself. When my body and mind are aligned with spirit, then I’m in balance and in the natural flow of life. I can tap into my intuition and inner reserves to know which way to go and have the strength to follow through. When an imbalance occurs, it becomes apparent quickly, and shifts more easily because I’m tuned-in to my essence. Many of the problems of the mundane world simply fall away.

I’ve been super-charging my spiritual practices by bringing in Reiki energy and symbols. Reiki assists me in letting go of negative beliefs about myself and the world, and guides me to release patterns of dysfunction. It encourages my chakras to open and align, creating energetic balance within my body which is then reflected in my actions. It allows me to send healing to my past and reduce the influence of old wounds. And it creates a synergistic unity of all the parts of me that I’ve abandoned or forgotten while reminding me that my essence is perfect, whole, and complete.

This journey has helped me expand the way I use Reiki in my personal life. It remains my go-to therapy for aches and pains, first aid, anxiety and stress. I doubt that will ever change. I’m also using it more and more for personal growth and reestablishing connection to the divine. The results of these deeper practices are profound and affirming. I’m tempted to say that the sky is the limit, but I remember my very first Reiki teacher asking me, “Why have any limits?”, so I’ll refrain and say that I’m looking forward to exploring the limitless potential of Reiki as a spiritual practice.

Radical Self-Care, Spiritual Practice

Defining “spiritual practice” is a task that I’ve been avoiding for some time now. In the…
Any inner emotional demons can be released on the dance floor, simply by setting an intention and moving the body. Especially when there’s a full moon with accompanying eclipse during the change of seasons! Ability and fitness are of no consequence. And contrary to popular opinion, alcohol is not at all necessary.

I’m a big fan of 5 Rhythms, a style of conscious dance that is loads of fun. This is a form of free-style dance and according to the official website, “a dynamic practice to both workout and meditate in the same breath. Practicing them helps us become attuned to the underlying patterns in our everyday existence.” It’s an opportunity for creative expression as well as releasing stress. And I will repeat that it is FUN!

It’s not necessary to take a workshop or a class. I dance in my bedroom all the time. Just one song can change my mood from grumpy to sweet or angry to peaceful. I learned last night that you don’t even need music! The facilitator gave a room of 60 joyful participants a theme and a count and before I knew it people were jumping, bouncing, and twirling without a song. It was crazy and beautiful and here it comes again… great FUN!

Of course, music does make it easier. So fire up your iTunes or Pandora or burn a mixed CD and give it a try. Think about what you’d like to surrender, what you wish to create, and let the rhythm move your body. Apparently Isabelle Duncan said that as long as one finger is moving, you are dancing. Give it a try and let me know how you feel afterwards.

Radical Self-Care, Dance it Out!

Any inner emotional demons can be released on the dance floor, simply by setting an intention…
Perhaps the most valuable lesson I’ve learned on this journey of self-care is one of not getting lost in the world of technology. I think we all know what it’s like to sit down in front of a computer to do one quick thing and not emerge for an hour or more. When my schedule is tight, I keep a strong focus on my priorities, which means not getting distracted by electronics, especially in the morning before I meditate.

The challenge lies in the fact that I use my smartphone for a lot of self-care practices. Music for yoga is stored in there, as well as my brain booster apps, affirmation meditations, and my idea list for this blog. I often check the weather on my phone before heading out for a hike, and it’s very tempting to see what’s happening on Facebook. Yet I know what’s down that rabbit hole and that I can easily get sucked into scrolling through status updates and loss track of time.

Since I value the convenience my gadgets provide, I’m disciplining myself to use them intelligently. Many days I have plenty of time on the train to respond to messages. On days that I don’t, I actually schedule time for electronic communication and do my best to stick with it. This means checking email and Facebook two, maybe three times a day and not 4oo. This simple strategy really helps keep me on track and allows me the time to focus on my goals without getting waylaid. It also improves productivity because I’m not rushing to get back to what I “should” be doing or multi-tasking.

Just as I schedule time for working on my website or newsletter and time for exercise, rest, or creative projects, I’ve come to an awareness that social media and other communication needs a time slot. While I do wish to remain in touch with friends and clients near and far, I’m not willing to sacrifice the supportive practices I’ve developed over the past six weeks. This technique helps provide a healthy boundary that prevents surfing the web from overtaking my precious downtime. Basically I’m using my gadgets to support my goals rather than letting them use me.

Radical Self-Care, Gadgets

Perhaps the most valuable lesson I’ve learned on this journey of self-care is one of not…
This morning I find myself procrastinating. I know I’ll feel better on my yoga matt and most definitely I’ll feel like a new person after practicing. Yet I’m dragging my heels. I felt into this resistance and there’s no substance to it. It’s not a message from my body saying “rest” or from my heart saying “listen”. It’s actually a stubbornness arising from my inner three year old who is stomping her foot and saying “You can’t make me!”.

Funny, that’s not where I thought I was going two minutes ago when I sat down to write this! But I’m going to roll with it and acknowledge her presence. So it seems there is a message after all! I could easily override this sweet child and Just Do It. I was ready to ignore her, but the willingness to tune-in to my resistance seems to have opened up the channels of communication.

So what I’m going to Just Do, is sit down and receive what she has to say, show this girl some empathy and really hear her. I’m guessing she needs some reassurance that her needs are important and that I care. I will take the time to do that and explain my reasons for wanting to do yoga; that it is a gift I offer myself because I love how it makes me feel, not because someone told me I have to do it. Or because I need to do it in order to be worthy of approval. It’s not an assignment needing to be accomplished to please anyone else.

As I’m sinking into this awareness I notice the resistance is melting away. While I still plan to have that conversation, I’m astounded by the realization that I often do put pressure on myself to get my self-care activities done so I can cross them off my list, boost my ego for having done so, and move on to the next seemingly necessary achievement. Once again, I’m reminded that intention is everything, and that just like anything else, self-care activities can be distorted to feed the ego or distract myself from the real job of expressing kindness to myself and others.

Be loving. Just Do It. Everything else appears to be questionable!

Radical Self-Care, Just Do It Already!

This morning I find myself procrastinating. I know I’ll feel better on my yoga matt and…
Helping others is guaranteed to blossom in my heart. Countless times I’ve gone work tired or grumpy or out-of-sorts in one way or another and after giving someone a massage, I felt uplifted. Usually it’s the “before and after” contrast in the client that does it; one short hour later and they’re feeling relaxed and experiencing less tension or pain than when we started. I hope I never stop appreciating that.

Last week I was travelling home after a long day at work. The train was 30 minutes late and crowded. So crowded we couldn’t even get in. The attendant kept saying “move back”, but there was nowhere to go and the people who had space to move back into couldn’t hear him. It was frustrating and uncomfortable and it didn’t seem like there was an end in sight. Of course this slowed things down terribly and we were even later getting to the station.

I was in quite the mood by the time I finally got onto my connecting train and sat down. I overheard a conversation in front of me; four young people wondering if they were on the right train. I decided to be a good Samaritan and asked where they wanted to go. It took about two seconds for me to see they were NOT on the right train. I was able to help them sort out a new plan and send them on their way. I realized my mood had totally shifted; gone was the irritable, tired woman struggling to get home. Hello cheerful do-gooder, helper of naïve college students.

This incident was such a brilliant reminder of how acts of kindness, even small ones such as giving directions, can transform the course of a day. I’m sure I would have had a much more somber evening had I not chimed in to help. I had another opportunity yesterday while waiting for a bus. I had just pulled out my book when the man sitting next to me on the bench started a conversation. I went with the flow and had a nice chat with a stranger, who I’m guessing doesn’t have a lot of people to talk to. Again, I felt uplifted afterwards.

Living in a city it’s easy to find ways to be of service; holding doors, helping carry baby strollers up and down steps, giving up your seat on a crowded bus, putting a quarter in an expired parking meter, and smiling at people are all relatively easy tasks and don’t take much time. They’re also all great investments in feeling better about yourself. I’m all about getting involved in win-win situations, and being of assistance when you’re genuinely able to give without expecting a return reward can be a great reward on its own.

Radical Self-Care, Being of Service

Helping others is guaranteed to blossom in my heart. Countless times I’ve gone work tired or…
It’s so easy to wake up and get overwhelmed by all the things that need to be done that day. Even when most of my tasks are enjoyable, I can often start spinning out, worried that I won’t ever find enough time. That’s when checking in with my priorities comes in handy. Achieving a lot of stuff is not my actual goal, surprisingly! Spiritual evolution is. By that, I mean waking up and remembering who I am. Remembering that I am on a mission to be loving and to be loved. To be love itself.

Keeping this in mind while I look at my to-do list brings a sense of ease and peacefulness. In fact, many of those to-do items no longer seem important at all and either get crossed off or moved to more appropriate times. Now that I’ve connected with my essential self, I feel supported by the flow of life and I am no longer struggling to accomplish meaningless goals. As long as I am being true to myself, it doesn’t really matter if my newsletter gets finished today or next week or if my furniture remains dusty for another day or two. Or ten. 🙂

True, there are still errands that need to be run. AND it’s crucial to remember that while I’m in the store buying a new battery for the smoke detector that my ultimate goal is to be in the flow of love. While I’m cooking dinner and taking out the recycling, if I’m focused on being love, any stress or upset about having too much to do evaporates. I’m just doing the task at hand, while being true to my mission. At that point, it’s all joyful. Knowing my goal makes each decision easier and every step along the way lighter. If I didn’t know where I wanted to go, how could I ever expect to arrive?

Radical Self-Care, Know Your Goal

It’s so easy to wake up and get overwhelmed by all the things that need to …