nervous system regulation

I think we can all agree that chronic tension is unpleasant. It can cause physical discomfort, which can cause mental and emotional distress and create an incessant loop of muscular contraction causing pain which causes muscular contraction.

Chronic tension is often a symptom of an operating system that is perpetually primed for survival and stuck in a pattern of activation and/or collapse.

There are countless reasons for why we hold stress in our bodies. Many of them are external. We live in a system that does not support optimal health for many of us. Women tend to carry an unbalanced mental/emotional load in relationships and at work. There are wars happening around the globe. The economic structures here in the U.S. are squeezing out the middle class and corporations are sucking the life-force from their employees.

All of that is true.

AND! It’s possible that we are making choices that unintentionally add fuel to this flame of never feeling quite safe enough to let our guard down and relax.

I’m going to get real here today; just hear me out, please. You don’t need anyone else telling you that the trauma you experienced, your unruly brain, your Neanderthal husband or boss, your xyz disability or IBS aren’t your fault. Yet, this does not exempt you from the consequences of living in a body that is chronically stressed.

It might not be your fault, AND you’re the one who’s suffering, AND you’re the only one who can decide to make changes, so why not cut out the optional tension?

We can start by looking at social media. The whole shebang is designed to keep you on edge and scrolling. Algorithms have been expertly designed to manipulate your emotions and push your buttons. I see two major pathways that accomplish this- the anger that gets stirred up, especially around politics, much of it created by AI bots to deliberately enrage folks. And the “you’re-not-good-enough” hook dangled by influencers trying to sell you a lifestyle upgrade by making you feel bad about yourself.

Next up, video content. I love a good spy movie, a suspenseful who-dun-it, any kind of apocalyptic zombie/alien/mutated-fungus-that-turns-people-into-zombies thriller.

I suspect it’s because they activate my system in a way that feels familiar. It reminds me of the chaos of my youth, the eggshells that I learned to tiptoe upon, the breath that was held. My brain mistakes “familiar” with “normal” and seeks to recreate that which feels like home. When home was a landmine of explosive emotions, this is a pattern that continues to generate tension long after the circumstances have changed.

All the efforts I make with breathwork, yoga, walking in Nature, mindfulness meditation, journaling… poof! Gone in five minutes of plugging into the TV.

All the shows based on urgency activate my nervous system. Urgency makes for great entertainment and it’s everywhere you look. It’s obvious with horror flicks and action-adventure and suspense movies. But it’s also prevalent in the medical, law enforcement, criminal justice and military based content. So that basically leaves rom-coms and musicals!

Then there are the pet peeves, the grievances, the judgments I hold towards the people around me who don’t live up to my standards.

The jerk who tailgated me in the school zone.

The property manager who tries to convince me the AC has been repaired when I’m the one in the building sweating while she is reading numbers from a digital dashboard across town.

The ex-husband who owes me money from 25 years ago.

Do I want to give these situations the power to usurp my peace? Sure, I am most definitely in the right, 100%. AND, I get to choose if being right is worth the extra tension that gets triggered every time I entertain these memories.

Just because we can’t resolve all the tension points in our lives doesn’t mean we can’t effectively reduce the loads we carry. Just because we’ve been a victim in the past doesn’t mean we need to continue to give away the power that is available to us today. Just because our world is topsy-turvy doesn’t mean we should spend our free time watching shows about times when it’s even worse! Even if it is addictively entertaining.

I’m here to encourage us all, myself included, to get real and honestly evaluate how we might be unconsciously contributing to the tension that wears us down.

Maybe by cleaning up these stressful contributions we can gain the insight, clarity, energy, and motivation to face the more major sources of tension or help dismantle the infrastructure that keeps us spinning on the hamster wheel or break free from the rat race altogether.

What is one small step you can make towards reducing optional tension? Me? I’m going to turn the dial and find a comedy show to enjoy. Any suggestions?

Opting Out of Unnecessary Tension

I think we can all agree that chronic tension is unpleasant. It can cause physical discomfort,…
If you’ve ever been online, even once in the past decade, you are probably aware that chronic stress has a negative impact on health. The kind of stress that runs quietly in the background as you go about your days has been linked with inflammation and many of the diseases we all hope to avoid.

Managing it does not mean creating some sort of fairytale life in which you never again experience a stressful situation.

Nope. It means you handle it, to the best of your ability, rather than letting it take up permanent residence in your body or psyche.

Easier said than done, I know.

But I have first-hand experience and front row seats to the very real benefits of making the effort. Things like headaches, muscle tension, indigestion, and sleeplessness can fade away. Reliance on emotional support donuts diminishes. Clenched jaws release and teeth are no longer ground to dust overnight.

These things might not be as important as reducing the chances of major maladies, but are much more tangible in real time and greatly affect one’s quality of life.

Clients who come consistently for treatment often reach a point where they aren’t coming to address specific problems any more, but to continue feeling pretty darn good and maintain their resilience.

Their reports come with amusing details. The quirky issues that no longer present troubles or the quirky fun they get up to once the troubles no longer take center stage.

Today I got the best report ever. This, coming from a doctor who was on-call overnight all last week, still handling daytime clinical work plus extra admin work because of staff shortages, and a wife and mother. She was stretched pretty thin, and a bit worn out, but not overly stressed or tense. The icing on the cake? Her words: I didn’t even swear at anybody all week.

Don’t pretend you can’t relate! 🤣

(Side note: There are lots of folks saying that what we really need is an infrastructure upgrade so that we have fewer stressors. Yeah, sure, that’s ideal. In the meantime, since that probably isn’t happening today, I prefer to roll up my sleeves and take the action that is available to me.)

Managing stress isn’t about gaining moral superiority or bragging on Instagram. It’s about making your life more enjoyable, your body more comfortable, your emotional reactivity less explosive, your creativity and pleasure more accessible, your people less sweared-at.

Monthly Reiki-infused Swedish-ish massages aren’t for everyone. But that doesn’t mean you give up and do nothing. A few deep breaths, practiced throughout the day can make an impact and not cost a penny.

There are tons of ways you can actively participate in handling the stress that life inevitably delivers. Pick the one that appeals the most or is easiest and get started today. Insight Timer has a gazillion guided practices, many of them available for free.

If Reiki or Reiki-infused Swedish-ish massage appeals to you, that’s what I’m here for!

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Myriad Benefits of Stress Management

If you’ve ever been online, even once in the past decade, you are probably aware that…
Online TRE® Introductory Workshop

TRE is one of my favorite stress relief modalities. I took an introductory class with Maria about 12 years ago and found it incredibly helpful. Lately I’ve been using it most days to help with chronic tension patterns that contribute to low back pain.

I enjoy her no-nonsense teaching style. She is very clear about what to do and why and her presence helps me to feel safe, even though we’re not in the same room. Not everyone can teach virtual classes well, but she has mastered this skill.

From her newsletter:

TRE (Tension & Trauma Release Exercise) is an innovative series of exercises that assist the body in releasing deep muscular patterns of stress, tension and trauma. Created by Dr. David Berceli, PhD, TRE safely activates a natural reflex mechanism of shaking or vibrating that releases muscular tension, calming down the nervous system. When this muscular shaking/vibrating mechanism is activated in a safe and controlled environment, the body is encouraged to return back to a state of balance.

TRE® is based on the fundamental idea, backed by recent research, that stress, tension and trauma is both psychological and physical. TRE®’s reflexive muscle vibrations generally feel pleasant and soothing. After doing TRE®, many people report feelings of peace and well-being.

This “tremor” response may seem weird at first, but it feels great to let my body shake from the inside out.

If you have chronic stress or pain or a history of unprocessed trauma, this might be a tool to support you on your healing journey.

Online TRE Intro with Maria Alfaro

TRE is one of my favorite stress relief modalities. I took an introductory class with Maria…
Today marks a turning point in which night and day are balanced.

In the northern hemisphere, summer turns to fall, and in the southern hemisphere, winter turns to spring.

Where I live, the days are getting shorter and the weather cooler. I love it! Sweater weather is coming.

Regardless of your relationship with this seasonal shift, it’s happening. No amount of bargaining will change the fact that the wheel of the year keeps on turning.

I find that the more aware and attuned I am to the seasons, the more harmony I experience in my life.

We can all benefit from aligning ourselves with the rhythms of Nature. What’s one small act you can easily do today that will create more balance in your world? Perhaps it’s curbing frivolously spending or taking a break from a busy workday.

I very much enjoyed this free breathwork meditation on Insight Timer. It’s only ten minutes long and applicable wherever you are on the planet.

https://insig.ht/lmTzInwxSWb

Every step in the direction we wish to go contributes to our health and happiness. Something as simple and accessible as practicing equal breathing techniques can have a profound impact.

Even one mindful breath can help. Join me now. Bonus points for an audible sigh on the exhale. Aaaaaah.

Happy Equinox!

Today marks a turning point in which night and day are balanced. In the northern hemisphere,…
I had a breakthrough last week in a chronic pain pattern. Woohoo! I discovered tension in an adjacent area that was torquing my pelvis and causing discomfort in my lower back, hip, and leg. This awareness is huge as it points my efforts towards the cause of the imbalance rather than chasing the symptoms.

Chasing symptoms never provides lasting results because the source of the problem remains unresolved. A particular symptom might diminish, only to have another appear in its place.

Nearly all of the problems that people bring to my office are symptoms. Despite near- heroic efforts, clients have not been able to resolve issues because they were looking at the superficial problem and not what was underneath.

I don’t say this with any judgment or blame. We don’t know what we don’t know, and we can only do the best with the information that we have at the time. I’m offering some new information that will hopefully be helpful moving forward.

I have long hair. It often gets caught in my coat zipper in the winter. It’s obvious that the problem is coming from the zipper, but I feel it in my scalp. There’s no amount of intervention at the level of my scalp that is going to yield relief.

The same is often true for that crick in the neck, the burning in the shoulder blade, the ache in the elbow.

My massage teacher used an analogy of a schoolyard. He said that the complaining muscle was like the nerd, but if you looked closely, you could find the bully lurking nearby. The bully is the source of the pain, the nerd is the one that suffers. (I pretty nerdy myself, so please don’t let this word cause offense. It’s just an illustration.)

OK, so now what?

It’s possible to work with a pain pattern on your own if you have the capacity to bring compassionate awareness to what you’re feeling and remain present through the discomfort.

Sadly, few of us have any training in how to do that. These are skills that can be learned and I’d fully encourage you to begin today. Can you be with yourself for two full minutes, or 15 deep breaths, with 100% of your attention turned inward? Start there and build up your tolerance over time.

See if you can separate out the emotions that may be stored in this area clamoring for your care. Or the stories about previous experiences and concerns about the future. If you have been raised in the western world, you mostly likely have been conditioned by society, Saturday morning cartoons, magazine ads, pop culture, and Instagram to have certain beliefs about your body and how it is “supposed” to look and function.

Then there’s the way you use your body, such as repetitive movement patterns, your posture, and the way your body has adapted to your environment. Perhaps the most disruptive, hidden influence is how the nervous system responds to anything unfamiliar as if it were a threat and causes muscles to tense. When this happens over and over again, the muscles sometimes get locked in their contracted positions, perpetually ready for a threat that never comes.

We could also look at causes for systemic inflammation such as allergens in our foods, toxins we’re exposed to daily, latent viruses, chronic stress, inadequate sleep, and mold spores in the walls.

Let’s not forget about the energy body. When life-force is depleted, our systems don’t have the juice they need to function optimally. When energy flow is blocked, chakras are underutilized. When the flow is clogged, often the backlog feels painful and we unknowingly look for ways to discharge this pent up energy that can have detrimental effects.

To be thorough, I’ll add that the soul also plays a role. Not that it needs healing, as it’s eternal and whole by nature, but because we can become separate from it through trauma and programming. When we’re aligned with our essence and purpose, the other elements of healing are more easily accessible.

In short, our body, mind, emotions, instincts, and soul are all intricately woven together and need to be addressed fully to heal. If you’ve been working with an issue to no avail, try switching your focus to one of the other realms.

Or try Reiki. It works wonders as it addresses all the parts, striving to bring them all into harmony. You can learn to give yourself daily doses of healing energy or book yourself a session. You don’t even need to leave home.

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Chasing Symptoms

I had a breakthrough last week in a chronic pain pattern. Woohoo! I discovered tension in…
In this day and age, most of us live lifestyles that are deficient in life-force.

We spend most of our time indoors, in climate control and recycled air, under artificial lighting. So we’re not absorbing energy from nature much of the time.

We’re inundated with chemicals that our poor bodies must consistently detox. From the food we eat to personal care products to downright toxic cleaning supplies, air pollution, water pollution, electronic radiation, and crops that need to be genetically modified to withstand the pesticides that would otherwise kill them… Well, it’s a lot and our systems utilize a ton of energy processing this junk.

Chronic stress and busyness further depleted our coffers, draining our energy tanks, and leaving us floundering.

Repressed and suppressed emotions are stored in the body and disrupt the flow of life-force. Same goes for unprocessed trauma and wounds from childhood.

In short, we spend more vitality than we accumulate. We’re in life-force debt. Most of us, most of the time.

I make considerable effort to minimize wasted life-force, to generate internal life-force and maximize my exposure to Nature, and still I would be in the red if it weren’t for Reiki.

Reiki is a natural form of life-force energy and practitioners are able to tap into it and use it for healing and to support goals such as creativity, connection, freedom, joy, resilience, and peace.

I suspect that our ancestors lived in the flow of this energy.

And then we got civilized and industrialized. We disconnected from Nature and began to honor the intellect over the body and the emotions.

People began to live longer, but with poor quality of life because they didn’t have any vitality in reserve.

Reiki is the easiest way I know to fill up your batteries and give the body what it needs to do what it knows how to do.

Yes, absolutely, the body has innate healing abilities. It has tremendous wisdom and incredible power. But it can’t function optimally on an empty tank.

If you’re in need of a jumpstart, consider a Reiki treatment. It’s a safe, gentle, yet powerful technique for giving yourself the juice you need to carry on.

If you’re in need of consistent life-force deposits, consider learning how to give yourself Reiki. It’s easy and anyone can do it. The capacity to tap into this universal energy is transferred from teacher to student in a Reiki 1 training- it’s not a skill that needs to be learned or a gift that comes naturally.

Anyone can learn Reiki and can use this healing energy to bolster well-being, heal core wounds and trauma, to break free from ancestral cycles, to tend to the inner child, to support all the body’s systems, to regulate the nervous system, to cultivate peace and joy and freedom.

I’m offering an in-person class in Philly, beginning February 27. I’m also open to teaching online; if that’s what you need, let me know.

And if you don’t have the capacity to learn how to do this for yourself, know that you can schedule a remote Reiki session, and receive the myriad of benefits from your home, in your pajamas, without needing to lift a finger.

If you have zero interest in Reiki, get yourself outside and start absorbing some of the life-force that is freely offered from the earth, the stones, the rain and snow, the trees, the wind, and the sun.

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Why is Reiki so Important?

In this day and age, most of us live lifestyles that are deficient in life-force. We…
Healing is an alchemical practice of transformation. We dream of what we want to create without being attached to it while simultaneously making space for our current situation and being willing to release that which stands in the way.

If we’re particularly intrepid and devoted, we might choose to surrender entirely to our soul’s plan and simply follow the breadcrumbs.

The plan is essentially the same, no matter if I’m working on a knee injury, an auto-immune condition, wonky hormones, anxiety, accessing inner strength and guidance, spiritual awakening, or cultivating peace, joy, and prosperity. (I know this because I AM working on all these things!)

It’s rarely (if ever!) a linear path where 2+2=4. It’s more like M.C. Escher’s “Relativity”.

I have developed a basic recipe that captures the complexity of this equation. (Yes, a recipe for an equation, because that’s how un-logical healing is!)

Compassion+intention+non-attachment+nourishment-energetic drains/blockages=optimal wellness.

Each of these elements varies from moment to moment and person to person.

Optimal wellness for me is built on the foundation of my lineage, history, constitution, beliefs, circumstances and resources. Yours will likely be very different from mine.

If we break it down into segments, it can be easier to approach. These segments aren’t actually separate stages of the journey as everything is intertwined, but it can be helpful to look at it this way for easier understanding.

Compassion. The basic art of being kind to ourselves, no matter what. Easier said than done!

Intention. What is the destination of this healing journey? It might take some time and effort to sort through the “shoulds” of what society, family, religion, school, and the advertising industry have led you to believe are the necessary accomplishments of a successful human.

Non-attachment. Allow yourself to want what you want without clinging to it. Goals tend to change slightly (or entirely!) as you begin to move towards them. Often we gain insight and wisdom along the way, perhaps acceptance or forgiveness, and maybe a good dash of humor or humility that changes our perspective. This is why it’s important to hold the vision loosely and allow it to unfold organically.

Nourishment. I’m not talking about eating delicious home cooked meals, although that could certainly be a factor. I’m talking about spiritual nourishment.

For me this can look like sitting by the creek, reading a good book on the porch, lingering in bed when I don’t have to get up right away, laughing with my niece and nephews, meditating, or a playful hour with colored markers. The common factor here is that none of these activities can be labeled as “productive” or “profitable” outside of my healing journey and require a devoted mindset to carving out the time to make them happen.

Prioritize the journey. This means I need to keep my intention in mind when making decisions and say no to things that would derail me. There are a thousand reasons to deviate from the plan, but very few of them are as important as the healing journey itself. It helps to remind myself frequently about the original desire, or to put it another way, why I’m on this path in the first place.

Navigate the obstacles. They will present themselves without any effort on your part- all you need to do is make a plan to move towards your preferred destination and see what emerges. I call them the “yeah, buts”. Yeah, I want that, but… xyz. They often expose limiting beliefs about scarcity and unworthiness.

They will be tasks, relationships and thoughts that drain your energy and block your progress. AND they are another form of breadcrumbs, showing you what needs your compassionate attention.

Some of these things might be easy to release. Many of them will require some introspection and TLC as they are actually wounds coming to the surface for healing. If we push them away or try to skip over them, we miss an opportunity to alchemize coagulated emotions or integrate fragmented parts of ourselves.

All of this requires not only the willingness to stay put and face the seeming obstacles attached to our desires and abilities to nourish ourselves, but also the skill to interrupt survival and coping mechanisms. This is where nervous system regulation comes in handy. It’s the key that makes the other steps manageable. It’s practically impossible to do any of the above work if your mind is screaming “DANGER! EVACUATE! DANGER!” at top volume.

I made this video outlining some very simple steps to turn off those alarms when they aren’t needed. Let’s face it, most of the time we aren’t in mortal danger. Yet biology stimulates this overblown response and it’s crucial to have a plan for dealing with it.

By far, the easiest way I know (and believe me, I’ve spent 30 years looking for the easiest, simplest, most effective solution to my own struggle with chronic pain and anxiety) to support us on our healing journeys is Reiki. That’s why I’m offering a Reiki 1, Healing for Yourself and Your Loved Ones class that begins May 4. If you’re interested in the way of self-empowerment in order to maximize your wellbeing and connect with your inner strength and wisdom, I’d be delighted to have you aboard.

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A Healing Recipe for ALL the Things

Healing is an alchemical practice of transformation. We dream of what we want to create without…
Why am I always talking about the nervous system?

Because I see it as an important key to being healthy and happy. A lot of us spend a lot of time in the disregulated state where it’s nearly impossible to feel good or get anything meaningful accomplished.

If you’re exploring your inner world through meditation or any of the healing arts, you’re likely going to run into some protective mechanisms that will activate your survival response, AKA sympathetic nervous system.

This is a very useful response if you need to lift a car off someone trapped underneath or run away from an attacker.

If you don’t need heroic strength or speed, it can cause very uncomfortable sensations in the body, such as anxiety, tension, or even panic attacks. It absolutely erodes your health over time.

For those of us who live in the modern world, stress is unavoidable. However, we can learn to navigate it so that it doesn’t derail our peace of mind or transformational endeavors.

I’ve assembled some simple and doable tools can help you stay present when your inner judge, perfectionist or bully, suppressed emotions, or unprocessed trauma come to the surface. Staying present is the key to healing and integrating these energies. The alternative is avoiding them, which only delays their emergence, usually until a stressful moment causes a very inconvenient eruption and/or meltdown.

Haven’t we all “been there, done that” enough already?!

I made this <10 minute video to demonstrate some super-easy ways to deactivate the alarm bells and impending panic when things get stirred up. They work wonders! No Reiki is required to utilize these techniques, but they do pair quite nicely with Reiki if you’ve been initiated.

If this sort of self-care and healing work interests you, you’d be most welcome in my upcoming Reiki 1, Healing for Yourself and Your Loved Ones class.

And if your brain is going to explode if you have to learn one more thing and all of this seems just too much, consider booking a Reiki session. Let me and the healing energy do all the work while you lie back and rest.

It’s possible to cultivate a different way of being. It requires some consistent effort to reprogram your operating/nervous system. I can’t imagine any other effort that is more important than taking good care of yourself and cultivating the greatest possible wellness.

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How to Regulate Your Nervous System

Why am I always talking about the nervous system? Because I see it as an important…