self-care

Yesterday I lost hot water.

(Isn’t it amazing that such a thing as hot, running water is even possible? It’s easy to forget what a blessing this truly is. Until it disappears, that is. Then it becomes very apparent!)

Before that happened, my busy day got rearranged, leaving me with a few spare hours in the afternoon. Curiously, I had a nudge to shower and wash my hair. Weird. I usually shower before bed and wasn’t planning on messing my masses of hair, but whatever. I’ve learned to listen to the nudge.

As luck would have it, I was in the shower, longer than normal as hair washing is a bit of an ordeal when you have lots of it, and the water began to cool.

I was in the right place, at the right time, doing the right thing to notice that there was a problem.

Coincidentally (ha! I don’t believe in coincidence), a part that was needed for my refrigerator shelf that had collapsed earlier in the week (was this all part of the plan? 🤔) just arrived and my landlord was sending over the handy man to replace it shortly.

We chatted about the water and he turned up the temperature on the heater. This made no sense to me- clearly the heater is defective, it didn’t just turn itself down mysteriously. But these are the steps you need to go through as a renter.

Unsurprisingly, there was no change. But since I got my report in when I did and got myself showered in advance, there is no actual problem. Just a repair that needs to happen.

And that’s scheduled for today, most likely when I’m at work, meaning minimal disruption for me.

This story doesn’t really merit telling as nothing really happened. And, for me, that’s generally how it goes. When I follow my guidance, there are no big dramas to report. Things don’t always go as planned, but they work out one way or another, without a big production.

So next time you have an urge to do something out of the ordinary that might not make sense, consider what future inconveniences you might be avoiding.

The trick is in slowing down and paying attention so the messages can get through the mental clutter. If you like hot showers, maybe it’s time to start your intuition training!

Reiki can help calm the monkey mind and connect you to that inner voice. If you don’t have the pleasure of living near Philly, there are always remote sessions, which are an amazing way to get synched up with your inner wisdom.

Schedule a session

I’ve compiled all the intuition chronicles into one place for your convenience. They are not linear, so I’d suggest letting your inner compass guide you to the article that is most aligned with your current needs.

Intuition Chronicles:Listen

Intuition Chronicles: Start Small

Intuition Chronicles: Heron, Duck, Turtle 🙂

Intuition Chronicles: Awaken Inner Guidance

Intuition Chronicles: A Dream Directive

Intuition Chronicles: The Basic Skills

Intuition Chronicles: Using Reiki to Connect

Intuition Chronicles: Start with the Basics

Intuition Chronicles: The Cell Phone Edition

Intuition Chronicles: Reiki Can Help

Intuition Chronicles: The Rearview Mirror

Intuition Chronicles: Following Through

Intuition Chronicles: It’s Not Always About Me

Intuition Chronicles: The Hot Water Episode

Yesterday I lost hot water. (Isn’t it amazing that such a thing as hot, running water…
Online TRE® Introductory Workshop

TRE is one of my favorite stress relief modalities. I took an introductory class with Maria about 12 years ago and found it incredibly helpful. Lately I’ve been using it most days to help with chronic tension patterns that contribute to low back pain.

I enjoy her no-nonsense teaching style. She is very clear about what to do and why and her presence helps me to feel safe, even though we’re not in the same room. Not everyone can teach virtual classes well, but she has mastered this skill.

From her newsletter:

TRE (Tension & Trauma Release Exercise) is an innovative series of exercises that assist the body in releasing deep muscular patterns of stress, tension and trauma. Created by Dr. David Berceli, PhD, TRE safely activates a natural reflex mechanism of shaking or vibrating that releases muscular tension, calming down the nervous system. When this muscular shaking/vibrating mechanism is activated in a safe and controlled environment, the body is encouraged to return back to a state of balance.

TRE® is based on the fundamental idea, backed by recent research, that stress, tension and trauma is both psychological and physical. TRE®’s reflexive muscle vibrations generally feel pleasant and soothing. After doing TRE®, many people report feelings of peace and well-being.

This “tremor” response may seem weird at first, but it feels great to let my body shake from the inside out.

If you have chronic stress or pain or a history of unprocessed trauma, this might be a tool to support you on your healing journey.

Online TRE Intro with Maria Alfaro

TRE is one of my favorite stress relief modalities. I took an introductory class with Maria…
It’s easy to think that we’re all at the mercy of invading microbes, but it isn’t that simple. There are so many factors that influence our body’s capacity to defend itself against disease.

Some of the factors fall under our personal influence. And this is where our power lies.

True, I cannot completely control my environment and circumstances, although this doesn’t prevent me from doing my best. Just because I can’t achieve 100% success doesn’t mean I sit on my hands and do nothing.

My definition of empowerment is doing everything that I am able to cultivate the life I desire. If I want optimal health, I’m going to address every factor that is within my power.

While the chaos happening in the world is beyond my scope of influence, I do have a fair amount of sway over how it lands in me. I can’t escape stress entirely (although I take a good stab at minimizing it as best I can!), I am all about metabolizing it so it doesn’t leave me in a state of chronic fight or flight.

Not only is that uncomfortable given the resulting tension and anxiety, but living in survival mode drains the body’s resources, rerouting energy that would otherwise be used to keep ourselves healthy.

Sure, there are supplements you can take to boost the immune system. If you’re forever in super-stressed-out mode, though, your digestion and assimilation is impaired and you won’t be able to absorb them and they won’t be particularly effective.

There are tons of ways to address chronic stress. My favorites are spending time in nature, bouncing on the rebounder, laughing, meditation, tai chi, mantra, and Reiki. These practices all soothe my nerves and help me to move the energy so it doesn’t get stuck in my system.

So before you go spending a small fortune on vitamin C and such, find a way to release the tension held in your body and cultivate an internal sense of peace and safety so your nervous system can relax.

If you’d like some support, I’ve created a remote Reiki treatment exactly for this.

Immune boosting Reiki special

Stress and the Immune System

It’s easy to think that we’re all at the mercy of invading microbes, but it isn’t…
Recently I shared a short video about why I usually don’t recommend stretching for my clients with muscle tension.

What?! 😳

Yup. Very often it doesn’t create the desired results because stretching doesn’t address why a muscle is tight. So it may or may not help in the moment, but rarely has a lasting effect, if any at all.

Here’s what you can try instead if you’re not getting anywhere with traditional stretching.

Of course, massage and Reiki can help with this too. Book a session if you need extra support- I’d be happy to put my skills to work! AND even if you’re getting regular bodywork, daily interventions like this can really make a difference.

Book a Treatment

A Holistic Remedy for a Tight Upper Back

Recently I shared a short video about why I usually don’t recommend stretching for my clients…
A new client returned for his second massage to report that after his first session, he had slept without discomfort for the first time in months. Oh the joy of hearing updates like this! We still have work to do releasing patterns created by overuse and postural habits, but he was feeling hopeful.

He went on to tell me that his previous experiences with massage were so intense that he had been in massive pain for three or four days after each treatment. After experiencing relief from our session, he had come to the conclusion that the previous “strong sensation” (aka painful) approach had actually been making the condition worse.

I concur.

We had a brief chat about pain, the fight or flight reflex, and the resulting release of stress hormones and contraction of muscles. It’s my intention to create the exact opposite effect by encouraging the relaxation response: the release of feel-good hormones, unwinding tension, deep breathing, and muscle melting. It’s part of my mission to educate people about the power of coaxing the body into relaxation rather than attempting (and almost always failing) to force it into submission.

The thing that brings me even more joy is the next step in healing where people recognize that wellness is the result of listening to the messages their bodies deliver, treating themselves kindly, and taking good care of themselves. We live in a world that values doing more, going faster, powering through the upsets, and pushing ourselves incredibly hard. Until we begin to value wellness, relaxation, pleasure, and comfort equally as much, if not more, we will continue to suffer with chronic pain and promote the internal conditions that contribute to chronic and debilitating disease.

If you’re interested in a gentle, therapeutic massage and you live in the Philly area, this is my jam. I’m a no-pain specialist. The goal is to meet muscles where they are, sinking in until the first hint of resistance says stop, and lingering there while inviting the tension to soften. Schedule online here.

If you live elsewhere, I’d encourage you to do some research before scheduling a session. Some therapists are firmly entrenched in the “no pain, no gain” agenda and therefore going gentle is not in their repertoire at all. There’s a local studio that uses 💪 💪 💪 next to each of the providers’ names as an indicator of pressure range. Just like the 🌶️ 🌶️ 🌶️ rating in a Thai restaurant, you can better choose appropriately if you know what to expect.

(I’ll add that out of a possible five 💪, none of these therapists offered a level 1, and only two of the eight offer level 2. There was a whole lot of hoopla about seven of them going all the way to the max. Sigh.)

If you call a spa and ask for a certain kind of pressure, you’re likely to get a “yes”. Yes, sir, how high sir? The goal in a spa is to book lots of sessions and the front desk folks are eager to get you in the door. You might try asking which therapist they would recommend given your desire to relax instead of suffer. Since they might never have had a massage, might enjoy something entirely different, or don’t know the staff’s strengths and weaknesses, this approach is hit or miss.

Instead, I’d suggest going with an individual in private practice. Someone who works for him/herself and has hopefully created some content online so you can get an idea of what to expect. Sure, the spas and the franchises will have glossier websites with lots of bells and whistles. But this mission is about finding a good match for your needs, and that’s likely to come from a humble site like this one.

You could start simply by saying that you enjoy a relaxing/gentle/medium or light pressure/full body treatment and wonder if that’s available. Then listen to what they don’t say. They might agree, but with hesitation suggesting that this is out of their comfort zone or that they just aren’t into work like this, even though they can do it.

Personally, I’d rather have no massage than to suffer through one that hurts or to have to constantly ask the therapist to back off. AND there are enough of us providers out there, I feel confident that you can find a compatible practitioner if you do a little exploring.

Massage doesn’t have to hurt. I truly believe that it shouldn’t. But you’re going to have to advocate for yourself because much of the world doesn’t know this yet.

Painful Massage is Not the Answer

A new client returned for his second massage to report that after his first session, he…
Whether you’re unsure of how to get your healing journey started or stalled somewhere along the way, it can help to have a simple, daily practice to rely on. Something to sink your teeth into.

There’s so much information available to us these days that’s it’s easy to get lost down never-ending rabbit holes, exploring all the options, but never actually taking the first step.

I love kundalini yoga. I find it to be immensely transformative. Mantra, mudra, breathwork, movement, and meditation are all basic components that are combined for synergistic rewards.

You’ll have to leave your need to know at the door. While there are indeed reasons why making particular sounds and hand gestures creates a particular effect, the learning of these reasons often leads to years of study. Study is not practice. It produces information, not results.

I will say that chanting produces a vibration in the head that is said to affect the pineal gland. If that means nothing to you, don’t worry. It’s not necessary to understand to reap the rewards.

I’m not going to get into the history of kundalini yoga. Let’s just say it’s THOUSANDS of years old. From a time when there were fewer distractions and adepts could more easily drop into the moment and their bodies and notice the changes brought about by their efforts.

Nor will I get into the potential benefits of this particular practice other than to say it can help you get unstuck. But only if you do it.

I’ve chosen share kirtan kriya because it is so easy to do. It requires a mere 12 minutes of your time. It has four simple syllables, to be combined with four simple hand gestures.

This video does a good job of guiding the way. The chant is done aloud, then whispered, then silently, then whispered again, and finally aloud. Just follow along.

Traditionally a practice like this is performed for 40 consecutive days for maximum benefit. If that seems like a big commitment, ask yourself how much you’d like to experience relief. If you want to feel differently, you must do something different.

If you have access to Reiki, activate it before you begin and enjoy the bonus of marinating in healing life-force energy. While Reiki remains my number one all time suggestion for healing, for those who haven’t yet been trained or don’t want to or have access to a practitioner, this is a fantastic alternative.

It’s especially great for folks who find meditation or resting in stillness to be torturous. The movements and chanting give the mind something to focus on. This can be done sitting in a chair or standing, even lying down, if that’s necessary.

What do you have to lose? Twelve minutes a day is a pretty minimal investment. Give it a try and see how it feels. Showing up for yourself on a consistent basis is one of the most compassionate and empowering acts possible.

And you’re worth it.

Feeling Stuck? Try This.

Whether you’re unsure of how to get your healing journey started or stalled somewhere along the…
Maybe you’ve heard about the amazing health benefits of ginger. It’s been shown to support better digestion and decrease inflammation.

Yes please!

To get the rewards though, you need to be consistent with your efforts. A client tells me she eats lots of ginger because they get Indian takeout every week. While that is no doubt delicious, it’s far from medicinal.

Fresh is more effective than dried. So even sprinkling some powder on every meal will have questionable results.

What about prepackaged teabags? Meh. It’s pretty weak, most likely pretty old, and don’t get me started on the bag itself. Why are they shiny? Plastic. Hard pass!

If you’ve ever bought fresh ginger with good intentions only to throw it out a few months later when it’s all shriveled up, I get it.

It’s shaped weird. Why can’t it just be smooth and … organized? It’s all lumpy and chaotic.

Well, for starters, it’s a root. That’s what roots do.

But it doesn’t have to be as complicated as you might think.

First of all, you don’t need to peel it. Whew! I give it a good scrub with a vegetable brush under cold running water.

You don’t have to grate it either. Pu-lease! After massaging people all day, the last thing I want or my arms and hands need is intensive kitchen labor. And I could go the rest of my life without ever cleaning the grater again and be quite happy.

I slice it thinly. Easy peasy.

You don’t even have to simmer it on the stove if you have an Instant Pot. (btw consider getting one if you don’t! I use mine several times a week.)

The problem with simmering is you need to keep an eye on it, adjusting the temperature, making sure it doesn’t boil over or boil dry. I don’t have the energy for babysitting my tea.

But you can pop it in the IP, pressure cook it on high for 12 minutes, and enjoy tea for days.

I like to make my extra spicy and use it as a concentrate. I fill up half my mug with the ginger juice and top it off with hot filtered water. Voila!

The day that I finish the last drop, I start a new batch. It’s become second nature and now I almost always have some on hand. If it’s there, I’ll gladly drink a cup or two every day.

I’m all for healthy living, but it has to be simple and doable if I’m going to keep it up. This is my latest shortcut victory. What’s yours?

Ginger Tea- the Easy Way

Maybe you’ve heard about the amazing health benefits of ginger. It’s been shown to support better…
I just got back from the most glorious hike. It’s drizzly and cold here in Philly, but it’s my day off and I wanted to go to the woods. While I was trekking through the trees, I chuckled to myself about descriptors people often use for days like today.

Dreary.

Miserable.

Dreadful.

Come on, now! You can write a story in your head about it being a miserable, rainy day, and it will most definitely be true for you.

But is it True, with a capital T?

No!

It’s rainy. It’s wet. The sky is gray. There are mud puddles. The fallen leaves are slippery. These statements are objectively True. That means I need to dress appropriately and be careful where I step on the trail.

So I did. No biggie. And you know what?

Nowhere did I find any misery.

Instead, I found fresh, clean air. Mud puddles! (My inner child was delighted to have a splash.) And magic. That’s the story I told myself, and for me it became True.

I did pass a couple along the path and we all agreed that it was wonderful being out there without much company. The fellow said that the rain keeps the amateurs away and we all had a good laugh.

As adults, we have myriad opportunities to stretch our comfort zone and rewrite our stories. If we don’t, the zone shrinks over time and we begin to lose freedom of choice. It’s up to each of us to recognize how much discomfort we can face in order to grow and build resilience. Or we can wallow in our restrictive demands for comfort and forever remain an amateur.

For me, hiking in a drizzle is not much of a stretch. Perhaps that’s because I have a great affinity for water and a disposition and constitution that enjoys the cold. There are other areas of life that are much more challenging for me, and this new insight has all sorts of ideas brewing about how I can better meet them with grace and willingness if not ease.

And it all begins with the words I use to describe the event/situation/environment I choose to face. Will it be dreadful or simply unknown? Dreary or just wet? Miserable or potentially magical?

You tell me.

(Please do! I’d love to hear what words you use to rewrite an old story that keeps you from experiencing absolute freedom. What’s your rainy day equivalent?)

Love Me a Rainy Day!

I just got back from the most glorious hike. It’s drizzly and cold here in Philly,…
Help for Empaths

This seems particularly relevant now. Just because you’re sensitive doesn’t mean you have to absorb all the energy that comes your way.

Empathic Overwhelm?

This seems particularly relevant now. Just because you’re sensitive doesn’t mean you have to absorb all…