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self-care

This morning I find myself procrastinating. I know I’ll feel better on my yoga matt and most definitely I’ll feel like a new person after practicing. Yet I’m dragging my heels. I felt into this resistance and there’s no substance to it. It’s not a message from my body saying “rest” or from my heart saying “listen”. It’s actually a stubbornness arising from my inner three year old who is stomping her foot and saying “You can’t make me!”.

Funny, that’s not where I thought I was going two minutes ago when I sat down to write this! But I’m going to roll with it and acknowledge her presence. So it seems there is a message after all! I could easily override this sweet child and Just Do It. I was ready to ignore her, but the willingness to tune-in to my resistance seems to have opened up the channels of communication.

So what I’m going to Just Do, is sit down and receive what she has to say, show this girl some empathy and really hear her. I’m guessing she needs some reassurance that her needs are important and that I care. I will take the time to do that and explain my reasons for wanting to do yoga; that it is a gift I offer myself because I love how it makes me feel, not because someone told me I have to do it. Or because I need to do it in order to be worthy of approval. It’s not an assignment needing to be accomplished to please anyone else.

As I’m sinking into this awareness I notice the resistance is melting away. While I still plan to have that conversation, I’m astounded by the realization that I often do put pressure on myself to get my self-care activities done so I can cross them off my list, boost my ego for having done so, and move on to the next seemingly necessary achievement. Once again, I’m reminded that intention is everything, and that just like anything else, self-care activities can be distorted to feed the ego or distract myself from the real job of expressing kindness to myself and others.

Be loving. Just Do It. Everything else appears to be questionable!

Radical Self-Care, Just Do It Already!

This morning I find myself procrastinating. I know I’ll feel better on my yoga matt and…
Helping others is guaranteed to blossom in my heart. Countless times I’ve gone work tired or grumpy or out-of-sorts in one way or another and after giving someone a massage, I felt uplifted. Usually it’s the “before and after” contrast in the client that does it; one short hour later and they’re feeling relaxed and experiencing less tension or pain than when we started. I hope I never stop appreciating that.

Last week I was travelling home after a long day at work. The train was 30 minutes late and crowded. So crowded we couldn’t even get in. The attendant kept saying “move back”, but there was nowhere to go and the people who had space to move back into couldn’t hear him. It was frustrating and uncomfortable and it didn’t seem like there was an end in sight. Of course this slowed things down terribly and we were even later getting to the station.

I was in quite the mood by the time I finally got onto my connecting train and sat down. I overheard a conversation in front of me; four young people wondering if they were on the right train. I decided to be a good Samaritan and asked where they wanted to go. It took about two seconds for me to see they were NOT on the right train. I was able to help them sort out a new plan and send them on their way. I realized my mood had totally shifted; gone was the irritable, tired woman struggling to get home. Hello cheerful do-gooder, helper of naïve college students.

This incident was such a brilliant reminder of how acts of kindness, even small ones such as giving directions, can transform the course of a day. I’m sure I would have had a much more somber evening had I not chimed in to help. I had another opportunity yesterday while waiting for a bus. I had just pulled out my book when the man sitting next to me on the bench started a conversation. I went with the flow and had a nice chat with a stranger, who I’m guessing doesn’t have a lot of people to talk to. Again, I felt uplifted afterwards.

Living in a city it’s easy to find ways to be of service; holding doors, helping carry baby strollers up and down steps, giving up your seat on a crowded bus, putting a quarter in an expired parking meter, and smiling at people are all relatively easy tasks and don’t take much time. They’re also all great investments in feeling better about yourself. I’m all about getting involved in win-win situations, and being of assistance when you’re genuinely able to give without expecting a return reward can be a great reward on its own.

Radical Self-Care, Being of Service

Helping others is guaranteed to blossom in my heart. Countless times I’ve gone work tired or…
It’s so easy to wake up and get overwhelmed by all the things that need to be done that day. Even when most of my tasks are enjoyable, I can often start spinning out, worried that I won’t ever find enough time. That’s when checking in with my priorities comes in handy. Achieving a lot of stuff is not my actual goal, surprisingly! Spiritual evolution is. By that, I mean waking up and remembering who I am. Remembering that I am on a mission to be loving and to be loved. To be love itself.

Keeping this in mind while I look at my to-do list brings a sense of ease and peacefulness. In fact, many of those to-do items no longer seem important at all and either get crossed off or moved to more appropriate times. Now that I’ve connected with my essential self, I feel supported by the flow of life and I am no longer struggling to accomplish meaningless goals. As long as I am being true to myself, it doesn’t really matter if my newsletter gets finished today or next week or if my furniture remains dusty for another day or two. Or ten. 🙂

True, there are still errands that need to be run. AND it’s crucial to remember that while I’m in the store buying a new battery for the smoke detector that my ultimate goal is to be in the flow of love. While I’m cooking dinner and taking out the recycling, if I’m focused on being love, any stress or upset about having too much to do evaporates. I’m just doing the task at hand, while being true to my mission. At that point, it’s all joyful. Knowing my goal makes each decision easier and every step along the way lighter. If I didn’t know where I wanted to go, how could I ever expect to arrive?

Radical Self-Care, Know Your Goal

It’s so easy to wake up and get overwhelmed by all the things that need to …
One of the quickest and easiest ways to raise vibration is to express gratitude. Being grateful instantly elevates me to a sensation of peace and brings with it the knowingness that everything is exactly how it is supposed to be; even if I can’t see that from my human perspective. As I’m oozing gratitude into the atmosphere, I’m drawing more experiences for which to be grateful and simultaneously sending out blessings to everyone and everything I acknowledge.

Lately I’ve been spending a few minutes every night before bed reviewing the day and feeling gratitude for the experiences, events, people, and places in my life. Even the challenges usually contain a gift- a new understanding, renewed patience or tolerance, evoked courage or boundaries, or perhaps surrender of expectations. I do a chronological scan of my day, and finish by feeling grateful formyself for taking such good care of me, and all the teachers who taught me how.

Grateful for my home and the comforts within it, the food which nourished me, my body that carries my essence around. Grateful for my work, my colleagues, my clients, and the opportunity to share my gifts. Grateful for my friends, my family, that friendly neighbor who always gives me a big smile and a huge wave. Grateful for music and the electronics that expand my ability to connect, for air conditioning, and public transportation. Grateful for the freedom and opportunity to explore personal growth and spiritual evolution.

Realizing the vast quantity of things for which I am grateful creates a sense of security and well-being. This sets me up for a peaceful night and restful sleep, which sets me up to awaken feeling refreshed and energized. Starting the day off in a good mood creates a Domino effect of feeling grateful, radiating joy, attracting kindness, and on and on and on…! That five or ten minutes before bedtime are not only rewarding in the moment, but also a great investment in a happy future.

Radical Self-Care, Gratitude

One of the quickest and easiest ways to raise vibration is to express gratitude. Being grateful…
This morning I woke up in a funk. Knowing myself as I do, I recognized that there were three possible outcomes. One was to let the funk take over and drag me down, potentially for days or even weeks. I was all about finding an alternative to this undesirable conclusion. Another possibility was to numb and distract myself from the gnawing sensation inside. I am well-practiced at the art of avoidance and needless to say none of these activities actually make me feel better.

I am choosing Door Number Three: sitting with the pain. My Reiki practice has taught me that much of the suffering I experience is due to stuck emotions. Once I am willing to let go, things begin to shift, and progress might be slow, but it begins rather quickly. Since I had been planning to go to my favorite yoga class, I realized that would be a great opportunity to get unstuck. It was a close call as I really wanted to stay home with the novel I was enjoying and just zone out. So I went online immediately and signed into class, knowing that once I’d paid, I’d have excellent motivation to go.

I highly appreciate the detailed anatomical instruction I received during this “Fundamentals” class at Magu Yoga. Alex is a brilliant teacher and enthusiastically guided us through very specific movements that aligned my posture and allowed my energetic pathways to open. I felt muscle tension releasing and emotional gunk clearing. My limbs were trembling, which I recognized as a sign that my body was letting go of needless tension and my nervous system was unwinding. The precision demanded by this type of class gave my mind something to do other than fret, and the overall reward was body-mind-spirit rejuvenation.

The challenging work of sitting with the discomfort and surrendering attachment is still ahead of me. I’ve cleared any unnecessary tasks from my schedule today to make space for that to happen. The yoga class really paved the way for me to sit quietly and honestly observe what is happening inside. It released the charged sensation of needing to escape as well as the fear of suffocating in the heaviness, which needs to be felt in order for true healing to occur. It created a non-stick surface on which energy can flow rather than stagnating in depression, suppression, or self-pity.

Now it’s time for the main act.

Ready? Set? Sit.

Radical Self-Care, Just Sit

This morning I woke up in a funk. Knowing myself as I do, I recognized that…
My 2.5 year old nephew is a great role model. This kid knows how to have a good time! He will put anything on his head (a shoe, macaroni, the inflatable raft for the pool) and announce “HAT!”. He thinks he’s hilarious. Another favorite game is to hide behind a curtain or under a towel, waiting not-so-patiently for you to say, “Where’s Max?” at which point he appears giggling.

notice he’s wearing just one shoe, on the wrong foot and the book is upside down 🙂

Watching this adorable kid reminds me to laugh loud and laugh often. Research is showing that even false laughter can alter brain chemistry, releasing feel-good endorphins and lightening our moods; I know I feel infinitely better after spending time with friends who enjoy a good chuckle. In this day and age with virtually limitless video available instantly, there is ample opportunity to LOL.

While I may not play silly “hat” games or always have company available to entertain me, I’m often able to pull myself out of a slump by recalling a funny incident or plugging into YouTube. Here’s a short video of a classic Tim Conway dentist skit. It cracks me up every time. Or better yet, spend time with small kids. They can be relied on for a constant stream of humorous material.

It’s been said that laughter is the best medicine. I have to say that I wholeheartedly agree! What’s really great is that hysterical comes in many flavors- silly, dry, witty, sarcastic. It doesn’t really matter which you choose; only that you do make that choice. Did you hear the one about the gorilla who walked into a bar? 😉

Radical Self-Care, Laughter

My 2.5 year old nephew is a great role model. This kid knows how to have a…
As I was sitting in meditation this morning, I had yet another epiphany. I realized that many of the areas in my body where I felt pain were actually holding old resentment, anger, fear, or some form of unexpressed emotion. As I became willing to release the emotion, the tension softened, and the discomfort evaporated. I physically felt how the act of forgiveness restored my energetic flow and relieved unpleasant symptoms.

Of course it is always my choice to hold onto resentment and keep the pain. It may very well be true that this friend did behave like a jerk and that friend didn’t keep her promise. Letting go of my reaction to these events doesn’t condone their behavior, but it does release me from my role as judge, jury, and executioner. As long as I’m pointing the finger at someone, the need to punish arises. While I’m neither cruel nor vindictive, I am well practiced at withholding love and acceptance as a form of silent punishment.

The problem with this system is that I am only punishing myself. My true nature is to be in the flow of love, and judgement separates me from that truth. My desire to practice forgiveness has been reinforced; not as a spiritual practice, but as a practical one. I long to be set free from the weight of judgement and the burden of pain. I already feel lighter and more resilient. I have complete faith that with diligence I can experience major liberation and the joy that comes with integration.

Let me be clear that while I believe harboring grudges and ill wishes always produces pain of some sort, I do not wish to suggest that all pain is the result of bearing un-forgiveness. Also, some wounds may take professional guidance to heal. I do not wish to belittle anyone’s experiences. However, I think we can all benefit rather quickly from letting go of the smaller stuff; such as being cut off in traffic or stood up for lunch. Given the choice of righteous indignation or comfort and freedom in my body, I’m opting for the latter. Every single time.

Radical Self-Care, Forgiveness

As I was sitting in meditation this morning, I had yet another epiphany. I realized that many…
I’m an overachiever when it comes to hydration. I enjoy a drink a big glass of filtered water first thing every morning and rarely leave the house without my reusable bottle. Most days I put down close to a gallon of quality fluids. Living in the high dessert of New Mexico really established this good habit decades ago.

Then last week I went to an art opening and decided to dress up. The ridiculously small purse that matched my dress was barely big enough for my wallet and keys, let alone a liter of water. I chose not to bring my backpack or canteen and convinced myself it would be fine.

I was wrong. By the time I got to the gallery I was already thirsty. The only drinking water available was from a fountain and it just wasn’t easy to stock up. Of course there was plenty of wine, which further added to my dehydration. This was also the night when I epically failed as public transportation guide and spent an extra two hours navigating my friends and myself home. Parched doesn’t even begin to describe how I felt. A headache arrived and I just couldn’t get satiated at that point.

It took me the entire next day to recalibrate. I easily recognized how I betrayed good self-care for fashion and payed the price of feeling crummy for a full 24 hours. I don’t think I can change the styles of the times to make a stainless steel water bottle an acceptable accessory. But I am willing to let my needs supersede fashion and am prepared to carry it anyway; maybe even dress it up with some sequins or glitter.

Radical Self-Care, Hydrate

I’m an overachiever when it comes to hydration. I enjoy a drink a big glass of filtered…
I am finally willing to admit that my VitaMix needs to go in for repairs. It’s leaving bigger and bigger puddles as it drips from the base. The good news is that when you spend a fortune on a blender, it comes with an extended warranty. So when I called customer service, things went smoothly until she said it would be returned to me in 8-10 days. <GASP!> Then she said, “Pamela, don’t panic.” Clearly she could tell by my stunned silence that I was ready to panic!

OK, so it probably won’t take as long as that, but holy cow, I use this machine A LOT! Like every day, a lot. Yesterday I used it three times! I made cashew butter (well worth the effort for an organic version with only raw cashews and pink Himalayan salt), smoothies for the rest of the week (which I froze for super-convenience during my busy stretch), and roasted potato and curry soup (which btw is the bomb!). Clearly I have an affinity for smooth and creamy meals.

As far as life problems go, being without my super-duper blender for over a week is pretty low on the list; most definitely what is called a “first world problem.” I get that, I really do. But I rely on this machine to create spectacular delicious and nutritious meals. Most of you would likely agree that this combination is not all that common. However, it has become apparent that I am overly dependent on a gadget.

So I have switched gears and am preparing to welcome a short break from blending. For the first 40 years of my life I didn’t even know what a VitaMix was, so obviously I am able to survive without one! I will get creative in the kitchen and maybe even find some new recipes for fabulous meals I never would have explored because I was too busy blending. I might get adventurous and try a new restaurant. I might even do the unthinkable and order a smoothie from the juice bar!

While this might seem like a trivial matter, the lesson of resilience is one that runs deep. It’s a good reminder to practice being more flexible with simple matters so that when something profound comes up, we’ve practiced letting go and adapting to changes. Bumps in the road keep us alert, and thinking outside the box stimulates neuroplasticity. I’ve come to see this leaky blender incident as a blessing in disguise and am looking forward to the creativity it inspires.

Radical Self-Care, Adapt

I am finally willing to admit that my VitaMix needs to go in for repairs. It’s…