stress management

  • I think we can all agree that chronic tension is unpleasant. It can cause physical discomfort, which can cause mental and emotional distress and create an incessant loop of muscular contraction causing pain which causes muscular contraction.

    Chronic tension is often a symptom of an operating system that is perpetually primed for survival and stuck in a pattern of activation and/or collapse.

    There are countless reasons for why we hold stress in our bodies. Many of them are external. We live in a system that does not support optimal health for many of us. Women tend to carry an unbalanced mental/emotional load in relationships and at work. There are wars happening around the globe. The economic structures here in the U.S. are squeezing out the middle class and corporations are sucking the life-force from their employees.

    All of that is true.

    AND! It’s possible that we are making choices that unintentionally add fuel to this flame of never feeling quite safe enough to let our guard down and relax.

    I’m going to get real here today; just hear me out, please. You don’t need anyone else telling you that the trauma you experienced, your unruly brain, your Neanderthal husband or boss, your xyz disability or IBS aren’t your fault. Yet, this does not exempt you from the consequences of living in a body that is chronically stressed.

    It might not be your fault, AND you’re the one who’s suffering, AND you’re the only one who can decide to make changes, so why not cut out the optional tension?

    We can start by looking at social media. The whole shebang is designed to keep you on edge and scrolling. Algorithms have been expertly designed to manipulate your emotions and push your buttons. I see two major pathways that accomplish this- the anger that gets stirred up, especially around politics, much of it created by AI bots to deliberately enrage folks. And the “you’re-not-good-enough” hook dangled by influencers trying to sell you a lifestyle upgrade by making you feel bad about yourself.

    Next up, video content. I love a good spy movie, a suspenseful who-dun-it, any kind of apocalyptic zombie/alien/mutated-fungus-that-turns-people-into-zombies thriller.

    I suspect it’s because they activate my system in a way that feels familiar. It reminds me of the chaos of my youth, the eggshells that I learned to tiptoe upon, the breath that was held. My brain mistakes “familiar” with “normal” and seeks to recreate that which feels like home. When home was a landmine of explosive emotions, this is a pattern that continues to generate tension long after the circumstances have changed.

    All the efforts I make with breathwork, yoga, walking in Nature, mindfulness meditation, journaling… poof! Gone in five minutes of plugging into the TV.

    All the shows based on urgency activate my nervous system. Urgency makes for great entertainment and it’s everywhere you look. It’s obvious with horror flicks and action-adventure and suspense movies. But it’s also prevalent in the medical, law enforcement, criminal justice and military based content. So that basically leaves rom-coms and musicals!

    Then there are the pet peeves, the grievances, the judgments I hold towards the people around me who don’t live up to my standards.

    The jerk who tailgated me in the school zone.

    The property manager who tries to convince me the AC has been repaired when I’m the one in the building sweating while she is reading numbers from a digital dashboard across town.

    The ex-husband who owes me money from 25 years ago.

    Do I want to give these situations the power to usurp my peace? Sure, I am most definitely in the right, 100%. AND, I get to choose if being right is worth the extra tension that gets triggered every time I entertain these memories.

    Just because we can’t resolve all the tension points in our lives doesn’t mean we can’t effectively reduce the loads we carry. Just because we’ve been a victim in the past doesn’t mean we need to continue to give away the power that is available to us today. Just because our world is topsy-turvy doesn’t mean we should spend our free time watching shows about times when it’s even worse! Even if it is addictively entertaining.

    I’m here to encourage us all, myself included, to get real and honestly evaluate how we might be unconsciously contributing to the tension that wears us down.

    Maybe by cleaning up these stressful contributions we can gain the insight, clarity, energy, and motivation to face the more major sources of tension or help dismantle the infrastructure that keeps us spinning on the hamster wheel or break free from the rat race altogether.

    What is one small step you can make towards reducing optional tension? Me? I’m going to turn the dial and find a comedy show to enjoy. Any suggestions?

    Opting Out of Unnecessary Tension

    I think we can all agree that chronic tension is unpleasant. It can cause physical discomfort,…

  • If you’ve ever been online, even once in the past decade, you are probably aware that chronic stress has a negative impact on health. The kind of stress that runs quietly in the background as you go about your days has been linked with inflammation and many of the diseases we all hope to avoid.

    Managing it does not mean creating some sort of fairytale life in which you never again experience a stressful situation.

    Nope. It means you handle it, to the best of your ability, rather than letting it take up permanent residence in your body or psyche.

    Easier said than done, I know.

    But I have first-hand experience and front row seats to the very real benefits of making the effort. Things like headaches, muscle tension, indigestion, and sleeplessness can fade away. Reliance on emotional support donuts diminishes. Clenched jaws release and teeth are no longer ground to dust overnight.

    These things might not be as important as reducing the chances of major maladies, but are much more tangible in real time and greatly affect one’s quality of life.

    Clients who come consistently for treatment often reach a point where they aren’t coming to address specific problems any more, but to continue feeling pretty darn good and maintain their resilience.

    Their reports come with amusing details. The quirky issues that no longer present troubles or the quirky fun they get up to once the troubles no longer take center stage.

    Today I got the best report ever. This, coming from a doctor who was on-call overnight all last week, still handling daytime clinical work plus extra admin work because of staff shortages, and a wife and mother. She was stretched pretty thin, and a bit worn out, but not overly stressed or tense. The icing on the cake? Her words: I didn’t even swear at anybody all week.

    Don’t pretend you can’t relate! 🤣

    (Side note: There are lots of folks saying that what we really need is an infrastructure upgrade so that we have fewer stressors. Yeah, sure, that’s ideal. In the meantime, since that probably isn’t happening today, I prefer to roll up my sleeves and take the action that is available to me.)

    Managing stress isn’t about gaining moral superiority or bragging on Instagram. It’s about making your life more enjoyable, your body more comfortable, your emotional reactivity less explosive, your creativity and pleasure more accessible, your people less sweared-at.

    Monthly Reiki-infused Swedish-ish massages aren’t for everyone. But that doesn’t mean you give up and do nothing. A few deep breaths, practiced throughout the day can make an impact and not cost a penny.

    There are tons of ways you can actively participate in handling the stress that life inevitably delivers. Pick the one that appeals the most or is easiest and get started today. Insight Timer has a gazillion guided practices, many of them available for free.

    If Reiki or Reiki-infused Swedish-ish massage appeals to you, that’s what I’m here for!

    Myriad Benefits of Stress Management

    If you’ve ever been online, even once in the past decade, you are probably aware that…

  • We’re gearing up over here for the next level 1 training. YAY!

    Reiki 1 is the beginning point for anyone, yes I do mean anyone, who wants to gain access to the healing energies of Reiki. 

    There are no special skills required, no magical powers, no experience in the healing or mystical arts. 

    Reiki is a natural energy and a Master Teacher performs an attunement ritual that opens a student’s capacity to connect to this energy.

    It’s as simple as that. Reiki itself does the work of opening energy channels. Never has it failed. Anyone can do Reiki once attuned.

    It’s perhaps my all-time favorite thing, watching folks go from ordinary person to Reiki practitioner in the course of an evening. We spend the rest of the classes discussing the foundational topics such as where it comes from, what can and cannot be treated, and how to use it. But it’s the attunement that initiates.

    Reiki, when applied consistently and intentionally, can shift even the most stuck issues. It’s an amazing remedy for stress and pain relief, anxiety, overwhelm, fatigue, and digestive issues. It can be used to support personal growth and spiritual connection, healthy relationships and free-flowing abundance, address old wounds and outdated coping mechanisms.

    If you’re interested in learning how to connect with this spiritually-guided life-force energy, or if you want a jumpstart for your lapsed practice, we begin on May 7.

    Details can be found here.

    That’s me with messy hair and a crooked smile. I’m just a regular person who has devoted her life to being a transmission of healing energy. You could too!

    Reiki 1 Certification begins May 7, 2026

    We’re gearing up over here for the next level 1 training. YAY! Reiki 1 is the…

  • I write a lot about this because it’s so crucial to health. When we live in a state or chronic dysregulation, ongoing stress, and consistent unease, all of our bodily systems are compromised. Learning to embody calm and a sense of safety is essential to reclaim optimal health.

    I also talk a lot about Reiki, partly because I find it the most useful tool for regulating my nervous system. It does other wonderful things too, but for the sake of writing an article and not an encyclopedia, I’ll try to stay on topic.

    We start with knowing that it’s important to do, necessary even, if we’d like to optimize health, happiness, and creativity. For me, that means making it a priority.

    So I’ve made a commitment to do the work. Yes, it is work. Not hard work, but it takes consistent time and attention. I can assure you that it is a worthy investment.

    Next, I want to acknowledge that this is DOABLE. It’s simple, accessible, and practical. You might not know how, might never have even known it was possible, but you can learn.

    I’ll add here that learning new things can be activating for the nervous system because it likes to keep us in the familiar zone. It confuses unsafe with unfamiliar, so you’ll probably need to use these tools while you’re in the process of learning to use these tools.

    Welcome to the complex and spiral nature of healing!

    I’ll assume that if you continue to read, you recognize that you want to do this, can do this, and are rolling up your metaphorical sleeves at this moment.

    In short, you are ready, willing, and able. Right?

    The first step is recognizing a sense of unease in the body. If this is your home base, not to worry, this is a pattern that can be reprogrammed. It will help to add a 5-10 minute awareness practice to your day (morning is especially effective) to sort through the feelings, sensations, and thoughts to reestablish a new baseline.

    But today I’m talking about how to interrupt an acute experience of distress.

    My goal for today is focused on self-care. It’s a day off and I have planned to have a restful afternoon with a few enjoyable activities scattered throughout. In reality, I had too many to-do items for the day to be relaxing and I started to feel anxious.

    Enter Reiki. For me, it helps to prevent a snowball effect and gives me enough space and clarity to recognize what’s really going on.

    OK, too many activities means I need to let go of one of them or decide that it’s more important than the ease and rest I am really craving. There’s dissonance between my schedule and my desire and it’s a no brainer to skip the webinar on myofascial release. Maybe I’ll catch the replay. Maybe not.

    Great, so now I’m back in harmony on one level, but I’m still feeling anxious. That’s the thing- you can’t reason your way into a regulated state. This is a physiological condition and needs a physiological repair.

    Fine. So what is it exactly that I’m feeling? I call it anxiety, but what are the sensations? There’s a buzzing in my upper abdomen. I call it hornets in my gut. Most unpleasant! And my quads are contracted as if I’m prepared to flee.

    What does my body need? To know that I am safe. It’s a maladaptive response to confuse a full schedule with danger, but them’s the breaks. That’s how we are wired and better to know this and learn to work with it than to ignore it.

    I can use my senses to log data in my environment and send a signal to my brain that there is literally noting to be afraid of at this time. I look around the room, notice there is no fire, no tiger, no mean girls, and my shoulders drop away from my ears.

    What else?

    An outlet for this energy. I know from previous experience that focusing on my breath, particularly extending exhales and adding an audible sigh can work miracles.

    Now my mind jumps in suggesting that this is too simple, too easy to work against such a major activation. That everyone is always talking about the breath as a form of embodiment practice, but really what do those experts of ancient healing systems really know? Yeah, sometimes my mind is an arrogant jerk.

    I override this little ego trip and spend a mere three minutes sighing heavily over a cup of herbal tea. I wonder what the neighbors think, then remember that one of them played Dancing Queen loudly, twice this morning before 7:00 and decide I don’t care.

    Three minutes and the hornets are subdued. Like 90%. They might actually be butterflies now. It’s that transformational.

    The energy is still alive in my legs and I know from previous experimentation that I need to move. I love the rebounder (it’s a mini trampoline that fits easily in my apartment) for shaking out angst, but many forms of movement are also effective.

    Now that I feel like I’m no longer going to crawl out of my own skin, I can sit and give myself a Reiki treatment to reach complete resolution. I can also have a look at my calendar from my now-calm state of being and make sure my daily activities are aligned with my priority of maintaining this regulation.

    I can also acknowledge that living fully means ups and downs and that there is very likely to be upset in my future. Knowing this, I can refine my plan for meeting whatever comes my way. Generally, I want to be compassionate and aware, tuned in to my body, and well resourced so that I can respond accordingly.

    Healing does not mean ubiquitous calm. How dull would that be?! It does, however, mean that I want to address energy leaks and unnecessary upset, bounce back from minor upsets with ease, and be in touch with my needs and how to meet them.

    If you already have Reiki, you can apply it towards your intention to regulate and repair your nervous system.

    If you’d like to learn how to do this, know that anyone, even the most stressed of us, can learn how to do Reiki for ourselves and share it with our loved ones. I have a beginners level training coming up soon if you’re in the Philly area.

    Booking a session can also provide a wonderful reset, giving you a sense of calm and access to your inner wisdom and intuition.

    I spent much of my life with the hornets in my gut, never really at ease, slightly on edge, waiting for the other shoe to drop even when there was zero reason to be unsettled. Learning how to calm my nerves has been utterly invaluable to my wellbeing and creativity. I have faith that if you’re in that same boat, there is hope for you too.

    Nervous System Basics

    I write a lot about this because it’s so crucial to health. When we live in…

  • TRE is one of my favorite stress relief modalities. I took an introductory class with Maria about 12 years ago and found it incredibly helpful. Lately I’ve been using it most days to help with chronic tension patterns that contribute to low back pain.

    I enjoy her no-nonsense teaching style. She is very clear about what to do and why and her presence helps me to feel safe, even though we’re not in the same room. Not everyone can teach virtual classes well, but she has mastered this skill.

    From her newsletter:

    TRE (Tension & Trauma Release Exercise) is an innovative series of exercises that assist the body in releasing deep muscular patterns of stress, tension and trauma. Created by Dr. David Berceli, PhD, TRE safely activates a natural reflex mechanism of shaking or vibrating that releases muscular tension, calming down the nervous system. When this muscular shaking/vibrating mechanism is activated in a safe and controlled environment, the body is encouraged to return back to a state of balance.


    TRE® is based on the fundamental idea, backed by recent research, that stress, tension and trauma is both psychological and physical. TRE®’s reflexive muscle vibrations generally feel pleasant and soothing. After doing TRE®, many people report feelings of peace and well-being.

    This “tremor” response may seem weird at first, but it feels great to let my body shake from the inside out.

    If you have chronic stress or pain or a history of unprocessed trauma, this might be a tool to support you on your healing journey.

    Online TRE Intro with Maria Alfaro

    TRE is one of my favorite stress relief modalities. I took an introductory class with Maria…

  • Reiki 2 Certification

    The next series of in-person level 2 training is coming up!

    We meet for 6 Thursday evenings, 5:30-7:30 in my Mt. Airy (neighborhood of Philly) studio.

    November 6, 13, 20 &

    December 4, 11, 18.

    I’m predicting a snowy winter, so we’re also reserving January 8 & 15 in case of any weather-related cancellations.

    This workshop is for anyone already attuned to Reiki 1 who wishes to deepen their practice.

    You’ll learn three sacred healing symbols and how to use them for a variety of purposes. We cover enhanced self-care, treating others in person and remotely, and how to bring Reiki into your daily life in addition to a healing practice.

    It’s a great joy and tremendous honor for me to teach this class in a way that encourages retention and integration of the material and personalization of your practice.

    If you’re interested in joining us, you’ll find more information by clicking the button below. Space is limited, so don’t delay!

    Reiki 2 Certification

    The next series of in-person level 2 training is coming up! We meet for 6 Thursday…

  • I very much enjoy Jeff’s teachings on a very uncommon style of meditation. Instead of going up and out, escaping the body, he guides us down and in, landing squarely in our humanity.

    He’s offering yet another free webinar that I’m excited to attend.

    Here’s an excerpt from his newsletter:

    THE PEACE PARADOX – Why Chasing Calm is Making You Miserable (and What to Do Instead)

    Together we’ll explore:

    • Why chasing “calm” often creates more inner tension
    • How true meditation can welcome ALL emotions – even rage, grief, and fear
    • The astonishing paradox of peace – how true peace emerges when you stop trying to be peaceful!
    • A radically compassionate, deeply human approach to spiritual practice


    This is not about transcending your humanity—it’s about befriending it.

    https://jefffosteronline.com/the-peace-paradox/

    I often share his free webinars here because they address the very obstacles that I and so many others experience on the spiritual path. He’s very generous with his offerings and these freebies offer a taste of what you can expect from his programs should you wish to go deeper.

    I have no financial ties to him, this is just an amazing opportunity I want to pass along.

    The Peace Paradox with Jeff Foster

    I very much enjoy Jeff’s teachings on a very uncommon style of meditation. Instead of going…

  • Reiki 1 Certification Class

    Just yesterday I was thinking about getting a class on the calendar. Today someone emailed me to ask when the next class starts. For someone who operates on intuition, it doesn’t get much clearer than that!

    A fire was lit and the next class has been scheduled. Everything fell together so easily.

    I’ve decided to make this a 5 class series as students always want more time to practice and I don’t like to rush.

    So if you’re interested in learning how to access spiritually guided life-force energy (AKA Reiki) for healing body and mind, heart and soul, this is the starting point.

    We’ll meet on 5 Thursday evenings, 5:30-7:30 at my studio, in the Mt. Airy neighborhood of Philly.

    September 4, 11, 18, 25 & October 2.

    I’m offering a $25 discount off of the $400 price through Sunday 8/10. Use the code EARLY-BIRD at checkout.

    If you want to read more about the class, here’s where to find all the details.

    And here’s the link to register.

    Reiki 1 Certification Class

    Just yesterday I was thinking about getting a class on the calendar. Today someone emailed me…

  • Chakra Healing Treatment

    Seven is my lucky number. In honor of the seventh month, the seven chakras (as portrayed in several traditional systems), and the particularly potent full moon on the day I’m posting this, I’ve designed a new treatment.

    It’s a remote Reiki session for cleansing, charging and balancing the energy centers.

    I love Reiki because it is powerful, yet gentle, and never invasive. It always gives each client exactly what they need in that moment because it works with their bodies’ wisdom rather than attempting to impose some prescribed protocol.

    By focusing in on chakra healing and removing the chatting element of a session, I’m able to offer this 40 minute treatment at only $77.

    I recorded a six minute video to explain the how and why of remote Reiki for chakra healing. I could have gone on and on, but really tried to reel myself in to cover the basics. There’s a lot to be said about working with the energy centers and I’d much rather DO it than yammer on about it.

    You’ll find buttons below for scheduling if it feels right for you.

    Chakra Healing Treatment

    Seven is my lucky number. In honor of the seventh month, the seven chakras (as portrayed…