Luminous Heart Reiki & Massage

I think we can all agree that chronic tension is unpleasant. It can cause physical discomfort, which can cause mental and emotional distress and create an incessant loop of muscular contraction causing pain which causes muscular contraction.

Chronic tension is often a symptom of an operating system that is perpetually primed for survival and stuck in a pattern of activation and/or collapse.

There are countless reasons for why we hold stress in our bodies. Many of them are external. We live in a system that does not support optimal health for many of us. Women tend to carry an unbalanced mental/emotional load in relationships and at work. There are wars happening around the globe. The economic structures here in the U.S. are squeezing out the middle class and corporations are sucking the life-force from their employees.

All of that is true.

AND! It’s possible that we are making choices that unintentionally add fuel to this flame of never feeling quite safe enough to let our guard down and relax.

I’m going to get real here today; just hear me out, please. You don’t need anyone else telling you that the trauma you experienced, your unruly brain, your Neanderthal husband or boss, your xyz disability or IBS aren’t your fault. Yet, this does not exempt you from the consequences of living in a body that is chronically stressed.

It might not be your fault, AND you’re the one who’s suffering, AND you’re the only one who can decide to make changes, so why not cut out the optional tension?

We can start by looking at social media. The whole shebang is designed to keep you on edge and scrolling. Algorithms have been expertly designed to manipulate your emotions and push your buttons. I see two major pathways that accomplish this- the anger that gets stirred up, especially around politics, much of it created by AI bots to deliberately enrage folks. And the “you’re-not-good-enough” hook dangled by influencers trying to sell you a lifestyle upgrade by making you feel bad about yourself.

Next up, video content. I love a good spy movie, a suspenseful who-dun-it, any kind of apocalyptic zombie/alien/mutated-fungus-that-turns-people-into-zombies thriller.

I suspect it’s because they activate my system in a way that feels familiar. It reminds me of the chaos of my youth, the eggshells that I learned to tiptoe upon, the breath that was held. My brain mistakes “familiar” with “normal” and seeks to recreate that which feels like home. When home was a landmine of explosive emotions, this is a pattern that continues to generate tension long after the circumstances have changed.

All the efforts I make with breathwork, yoga, walking in Nature, mindfulness meditation, journaling… poof! Gone in five minutes of plugging into the TV.

All the shows based on urgency activate my nervous system. Urgency makes for great entertainment and it’s everywhere you look. It’s obvious with horror flicks and action-adventure and suspense movies. But it’s also prevalent in the medical, law enforcement, criminal justice and military based content. So that basically leaves rom-coms and musicals!

Then there are the pet peeves, the grievances, the judgments I hold towards the people around me who don’t live up to my standards.

The jerk who tailgated me in the school zone.

The property manager who tries to convince me the AC has been repaired when I’m the one in the building sweating while she is reading numbers from a digital dashboard across town.

The ex-husband who owes me money from 25 years ago.

Do I want to give these situations the power to usurp my peace? Sure, I am most definitely in the right, 100%. AND, I get to choose if being right is worth the extra tension that gets triggered every time I entertain these memories.

Just because we can’t resolve all the tension points in our lives doesn’t mean we can’t effectively reduce the loads we carry. Just because we’ve been a victim in the past doesn’t mean we need to continue to give away the power that is available to us today. Just because our world is topsy-turvy doesn’t mean we should spend our free time watching shows about times when it’s even worse! Even if it is addictively entertaining.

I’m here to encourage us all, myself included, to get real and honestly evaluate how we might be unconsciously contributing to the tension that wears us down.

Maybe by cleaning up these stressful contributions we can gain the insight, clarity, energy, and motivation to face the more major sources of tension or help dismantle the infrastructure that keeps us spinning on the hamster wheel or break free from the rat race altogether.

What is one small step you can make towards reducing optional tension? Me? I’m going to turn the dial and find a comedy show to enjoy. Any suggestions?