healing

Over the past week or so I’ve had numerous occasions to speak up. It’s amazing how small I feel when I’m afraid to voice something that needs to be said. I so admire people who are able to sense their needs and communicate them without the inner torture that I experience. It seems that first I need to verify internally that it’s a reasonable request, then figure out how to say it in a non-offensive manner, then psyche myself up. It’s quite the exhausting process!

Yet somehow I muddle through. It seems that saying “no” is the hardest, and yet sometimes the most valuable sentence I could ever utter. It’s easy to look back over the years at all the times I didn’t but wished I had. Sure, I can give up my only day off to cover for a sick colleague. Sure, I can do a deep tissue massage but use my thumbs instead of elbows and forearms. Sure, I can do more than my share of household chores or errands or listening. Remembering the powerlessness I felt when I didn’t speak up all those times fuels me to keep moving forward.

So while I continue to struggle with this concept, I am forging ahead. I continue to voice my concerns when I get that “off” sensation in my gut and also to decline extra work that I really don’t want to do. I’m committed to reminding the people around me about my boundaries should they forget and to ask for what I want. Most definitely I am a work in progress. I look forward to a day when I am able to speak up with ease and comfort; until then I will just keep practicing. Every chance I get.

Radical Self-Care, Speak UP!

Over the past week or so I’ve had numerous occasions to speak up. It’s amazing how…
One of the quickest and easiest ways to raise vibration is to express gratitude. Being grateful instantly elevates me to a sensation of peace and brings with it the knowingness that everything is exactly how it is supposed to be; even if I can’t see that from my human perspective. As I’m oozing gratitude into the atmosphere, I’m drawing more experiences for which to be grateful and simultaneously sending out blessings to everyone and everything I acknowledge.

Lately I’ve been spending a few minutes every night before bed reviewing the day and feeling gratitude for the experiences, events, people, and places in my life. Even the challenges usually contain a gift- a new understanding, renewed patience or tolerance, evoked courage or boundaries, or perhaps surrender of expectations. I do a chronological scan of my day, and finish by feeling grateful formyself for taking such good care of me, and all the teachers who taught me how.

Grateful for my home and the comforts within it, the food which nourished me, my body that carries my essence around. Grateful for my work, my colleagues, my clients, and the opportunity to share my gifts. Grateful for my friends, my family, that friendly neighbor who always gives me a big smile and a huge wave. Grateful for music and the electronics that expand my ability to connect, for air conditioning, and public transportation. Grateful for the freedom and opportunity to explore personal growth and spiritual evolution.

Realizing the vast quantity of things for which I am grateful creates a sense of security and well-being. This sets me up for a peaceful night and restful sleep, which sets me up to awaken feeling refreshed and energized. Starting the day off in a good mood creates a Domino effect of feeling grateful, radiating joy, attracting kindness, and on and on and on…! That five or ten minutes before bedtime are not only rewarding in the moment, but also a great investment in a happy future.

Radical Self-Care, Gratitude

One of the quickest and easiest ways to raise vibration is to express gratitude. Being grateful…
I ~~have~~ HAD a terrible habit of rushing through meals; like it’s just another thing I need to do so I can move on to the several dozen other things I need to do. What’s perplexing about this is that I go to a lot of trouble to procure the best quality food I am able and to prepare it as healthy, delicious meals. Which I then neglect to savor. It’s ridiculous!

Not only do I find myself scooping up the next bite while I’m still haphazardly chewing, the second that last bite is in my mouth, and I’m up and washing dishes. I know from years of study about nutrition that we best absorb nutrients when we eat slowly, chew every bite thoroughly, and take pleasure from our meals. The Institute for the Psychology of Eating has taught me the benefits of taking time to appreciate and enjoy the food on my plate. I know this to be true. Yet somehow I don’t actually do it. Until now!

Another step in this process is to be present when eating. I’m dedicated to not multi-tasking during meals; this means no books, gadgets, TV, or scribbling on my to-do list. I’ve got this piece down. But it seems that only makes the urge to rush stronger. Since I’m “only eating” and I really have a lot of other things on my plate (haha, pun intended!) I just want to get it over with and move on.

Well, I’m here to proclaim my intention to improve. I acknowledge the importance of nourishing myself, both physically and emotionally at mealtimes. And in order to do this, I need to carve out time to relax and relish every bite, chewing each one before even thinking of the next. I’m willing to commit to the process of pleasurable, although simple, dining on a daily basis. Starting with this ripe peach that is slated to be my breakfast. YUM!

Radical Self-Care, Chew!

I have HAD a terrible habit of rushing through meals; like it’s just another thing I…
I’ve used affirmations over the past two decades consistently. Combined with Reiki, it is the most beneficial practice I know of to change limiting beliefs. As children, we are little sponges that absorb messages we receive from the world without questioning if they are true. As adults, we have the power to examine those messages and decide if we wish to keep them, edit them, or drop them completely.

This morning I downloaded an app for my phone and purchased a package of 16 guided affirmation meditations from the queen of affirmations herself, Louise Hay. To say that she is my hero is a vast understatement. To say that her book “You Can Heal Your Life” has transformed my life does not even come close to doing it justice. Her work is focused on creating healthy self-esteem, letting go of emotional blocks, and learning to love ourselves exactly as we are.

While it’s absolutely unnecessary to use technology or purchase any recorded affirmations, it is super-easy. There’s something about the tone of her voice that is soothing and seems to bypass my mental resistance. Listening to Miss Louise generates a willingness to surrender my false perceptions and to absorb the healing truth that I am whole, complete, and lovable. Right now. Not after I achieve xyz. Not after I accomplish this or that. Not after I change my bad habits or anything else. NOW.

If you’re not into the app or the book I mentioned above, you could check her out of Facebook. There you’ll find a multitude of affirmation statements to choose from. If you find one that really resonates, repeat it to yourself aloud and often. She would suggest standing in front of a mirror and looking into your own eyes as the most powerful technique. You can even write your own affirmations by using present tense, first person, positive statements. Here’s a favorite that might just float your boat.

Radical Self-Care, Affirmations

I’ve used affirmations over the past two decades consistently. Combined with Reiki, it is the most…
This morning I woke up in a funk. Knowing myself as I do, I recognized that there were three possible outcomes. One was to let the funk take over and drag me down, potentially for days or even weeks. I was all about finding an alternative to this undesirable conclusion. Another possibility was to numb and distract myself from the gnawing sensation inside. I am well-practiced at the art of avoidance and needless to say none of these activities actually make me feel better.

I am choosing Door Number Three: sitting with the pain. My Reiki practice has taught me that much of the suffering I experience is due to stuck emotions. Once I am willing to let go, things begin to shift, and progress might be slow, but it begins rather quickly. Since I had been planning to go to my favorite yoga class, I realized that would be a great opportunity to get unstuck. It was a close call as I really wanted to stay home with the novel I was enjoying and just zone out. So I went online immediately and signed into class, knowing that once I’d paid, I’d have excellent motivation to go.

I highly appreciate the detailed anatomical instruction I received during this “Fundamentals” class at Magu Yoga. Alex is a brilliant teacher and enthusiastically guided us through very specific movements that aligned my posture and allowed my energetic pathways to open. I felt muscle tension releasing and emotional gunk clearing. My limbs were trembling, which I recognized as a sign that my body was letting go of needless tension and my nervous system was unwinding. The precision demanded by this type of class gave my mind something to do other than fret, and the overall reward was body-mind-spirit rejuvenation.

The challenging work of sitting with the discomfort and surrendering attachment is still ahead of me. I’ve cleared any unnecessary tasks from my schedule today to make space for that to happen. The yoga class really paved the way for me to sit quietly and honestly observe what is happening inside. It released the charged sensation of needing to escape as well as the fear of suffocating in the heaviness, which needs to be felt in order for true healing to occur. It created a non-stick surface on which energy can flow rather than stagnating in depression, suppression, or self-pity.

Now it’s time for the main act.

Ready? Set? Sit.

Radical Self-Care, Just Sit

This morning I woke up in a funk. Knowing myself as I do, I recognized that…
My 2.5 year old nephew is a great role model. This kid knows how to have a good time! He will put anything on his head (a shoe, macaroni, the inflatable raft for the pool) and announce “HAT!”. He thinks he’s hilarious. Another favorite game is to hide behind a curtain or under a towel, waiting not-so-patiently for you to say, “Where’s Max?” at which point he appears giggling.

notice he’s wearing just one shoe, on the wrong foot and the book is upside down 🙂

Watching this adorable kid reminds me to laugh loud and laugh often. Research is showing that even false laughter can alter brain chemistry, releasing feel-good endorphins and lightening our moods; I know I feel infinitely better after spending time with friends who enjoy a good chuckle. In this day and age with virtually limitless video available instantly, there is ample opportunity to LOL.

While I may not play silly “hat” games or always have company available to entertain me, I’m often able to pull myself out of a slump by recalling a funny incident or plugging into YouTube. Here’s a short video of a classic Tim Conway dentist skit. It cracks me up every time. Or better yet, spend time with small kids. They can be relied on for a constant stream of humorous material.

It’s been said that laughter is the best medicine. I have to say that I wholeheartedly agree! What’s really great is that hysterical comes in many flavors- silly, dry, witty, sarcastic. It doesn’t really matter which you choose; only that you do make that choice. Did you hear the one about the gorilla who walked into a bar? 😉

Radical Self-Care, Laughter

My 2.5 year old nephew is a great role model. This kid knows how to have a…
As I was sitting in meditation this morning, I had yet another epiphany. I realized that many of the areas in my body where I felt pain were actually holding old resentment, anger, fear, or some form of unexpressed emotion. As I became willing to release the emotion, the tension softened, and the discomfort evaporated. I physically felt how the act of forgiveness restored my energetic flow and relieved unpleasant symptoms.

Of course it is always my choice to hold onto resentment and keep the pain. It may very well be true that this friend did behave like a jerk and that friend didn’t keep her promise. Letting go of my reaction to these events doesn’t condone their behavior, but it does release me from my role as judge, jury, and executioner. As long as I’m pointing the finger at someone, the need to punish arises. While I’m neither cruel nor vindictive, I am well practiced at withholding love and acceptance as a form of silent punishment.

The problem with this system is that I am only punishing myself. My true nature is to be in the flow of love, and judgement separates me from that truth. My desire to practice forgiveness has been reinforced; not as a spiritual practice, but as a practical one. I long to be set free from the weight of judgement and the burden of pain. I already feel lighter and more resilient. I have complete faith that with diligence I can experience major liberation and the joy that comes with integration.

Let me be clear that while I believe harboring grudges and ill wishes always produces pain of some sort, I do not wish to suggest that all pain is the result of bearing un-forgiveness. Also, some wounds may take professional guidance to heal. I do not wish to belittle anyone’s experiences. However, I think we can all benefit rather quickly from letting go of the smaller stuff; such as being cut off in traffic or stood up for lunch. Given the choice of righteous indignation or comfort and freedom in my body, I’m opting for the latter. Every single time.

Radical Self-Care, Forgiveness

As I was sitting in meditation this morning, I had yet another epiphany. I realized that many…
I’m an overachiever when it comes to hydration. I enjoy a drink a big glass of filtered water first thing every morning and rarely leave the house without my reusable bottle. Most days I put down close to a gallon of quality fluids. Living in the high dessert of New Mexico really established this good habit decades ago.

Then last week I went to an art opening and decided to dress up. The ridiculously small purse that matched my dress was barely big enough for my wallet and keys, let alone a liter of water. I chose not to bring my backpack or canteen and convinced myself it would be fine.

I was wrong. By the time I got to the gallery I was already thirsty. The only drinking water available was from a fountain and it just wasn’t easy to stock up. Of course there was plenty of wine, which further added to my dehydration. This was also the night when I epically failed as public transportation guide and spent an extra two hours navigating my friends and myself home. Parched doesn’t even begin to describe how I felt. A headache arrived and I just couldn’t get satiated at that point.

It took me the entire next day to recalibrate. I easily recognized how I betrayed good self-care for fashion and payed the price of feeling crummy for a full 24 hours. I don’t think I can change the styles of the times to make a stainless steel water bottle an acceptable accessory. But I am willing to let my needs supersede fashion and am prepared to carry it anyway; maybe even dress it up with some sequins or glitter.

Radical Self-Care, Hydrate

I’m an overachiever when it comes to hydration. I enjoy a drink a big glass of filtered…
I am finally willing to admit that my VitaMix needs to go in for repairs. It’s leaving bigger and bigger puddles as it drips from the base. The good news is that when you spend a fortune on a blender, it comes with an extended warranty. So when I called customer service, things went smoothly until she said it would be returned to me in 8-10 days. <GASP!> Then she said, “Pamela, don’t panic.” Clearly she could tell by my stunned silence that I was ready to panic!

OK, so it probably won’t take as long as that, but holy cow, I use this machine A LOT! Like every day, a lot. Yesterday I used it three times! I made cashew butter (well worth the effort for an organic version with only raw cashews and pink Himalayan salt), smoothies for the rest of the week (which I froze for super-convenience during my busy stretch), and roasted potato and curry soup (which btw is the bomb!). Clearly I have an affinity for smooth and creamy meals.

As far as life problems go, being without my super-duper blender for over a week is pretty low on the list; most definitely what is called a “first world problem.” I get that, I really do. But I rely on this machine to create spectacular delicious and nutritious meals. Most of you would likely agree that this combination is not all that common. However, it has become apparent that I am overly dependent on a gadget.

So I have switched gears and am preparing to welcome a short break from blending. For the first 40 years of my life I didn’t even know what a VitaMix was, so obviously I am able to survive without one! I will get creative in the kitchen and maybe even find some new recipes for fabulous meals I never would have explored because I was too busy blending. I might get adventurous and try a new restaurant. I might even do the unthinkable and order a smoothie from the juice bar!

While this might seem like a trivial matter, the lesson of resilience is one that runs deep. It’s a good reminder to practice being more flexible with simple matters so that when something profound comes up, we’ve practiced letting go and adapting to changes. Bumps in the road keep us alert, and thinking outside the box stimulates neuroplasticity. I’ve come to see this leaky blender incident as a blessing in disguise and am looking forward to the creativity it inspires.

Radical Self-Care, Adapt

I am finally willing to admit that my VitaMix needs to go in for repairs. It’s…