self-care

I think we can all agree that chronic tension is unpleasant. It can cause physical discomfort, which can cause mental and emotional distress and create an incessant loop of muscular contraction causing pain which causes muscular contraction.

Chronic tension is often a symptom of an operating system that is perpetually primed for survival and stuck in a pattern of activation and/or collapse.

There are countless reasons for why we hold stress in our bodies. Many of them are external. We live in a system that does not support optimal health for many of us. Women tend to carry an unbalanced mental/emotional load in relationships and at work. There are wars happening around the globe. The economic structures here in the U.S. are squeezing out the middle class and corporations are sucking the life-force from their employees.

All of that is true.

AND! It’s possible that we are making choices that unintentionally add fuel to this flame of never feeling quite safe enough to let our guard down and relax.

I’m going to get real here today; just hear me out, please. You don’t need anyone else telling you that the trauma you experienced, your unruly brain, your Neanderthal husband or boss, your xyz disability or IBS aren’t your fault. Yet, this does not exempt you from the consequences of living in a body that is chronically stressed.

It might not be your fault, AND you’re the one who’s suffering, AND you’re the only one who can decide to make changes, so why not cut out the optional tension?

We can start by looking at social media. The whole shebang is designed to keep you on edge and scrolling. Algorithms have been expertly designed to manipulate your emotions and push your buttons. I see two major pathways that accomplish this- the anger that gets stirred up, especially around politics, much of it created by AI bots to deliberately enrage folks. And the “you’re-not-good-enough” hook dangled by influencers trying to sell you a lifestyle upgrade by making you feel bad about yourself.

Next up, video content. I love a good spy movie, a suspenseful who-dun-it, any kind of apocalyptic zombie/alien/mutated-fungus-that-turns-people-into-zombies thriller.

I suspect it’s because they activate my system in a way that feels familiar. It reminds me of the chaos of my youth, the eggshells that I learned to tiptoe upon, the breath that was held. My brain mistakes “familiar” with “normal” and seeks to recreate that which feels like home. When home was a landmine of explosive emotions, this is a pattern that continues to generate tension long after the circumstances have changed.

All the efforts I make with breathwork, yoga, walking in Nature, mindfulness meditation, journaling… poof! Gone in five minutes of plugging into the TV.

All the shows based on urgency activate my nervous system. Urgency makes for great entertainment and it’s everywhere you look. It’s obvious with horror flicks and action-adventure and suspense movies. But it’s also prevalent in the medical, law enforcement, criminal justice and military based content. So that basically leaves rom-coms and musicals!

Then there are the pet peeves, the grievances, the judgments I hold towards the people around me who don’t live up to my standards.

The jerk who tailgated me in the school zone.

The property manager who tries to convince me the AC has been repaired when I’m the one in the building sweating while she is reading numbers from a digital dashboard across town.

The ex-husband who owes me money from 25 years ago.

Do I want to give these situations the power to usurp my peace? Sure, I am most definitely in the right, 100%. AND, I get to choose if being right is worth the extra tension that gets triggered every time I entertain these memories.

Just because we can’t resolve all the tension points in our lives doesn’t mean we can’t effectively reduce the loads we carry. Just because we’ve been a victim in the past doesn’t mean we need to continue to give away the power that is available to us today. Just because our world is topsy-turvy doesn’t mean we should spend our free time watching shows about times when it’s even worse! Even if it is addictively entertaining.

I’m here to encourage us all, myself included, to get real and honestly evaluate how we might be unconsciously contributing to the tension that wears us down.

Maybe by cleaning up these stressful contributions we can gain the insight, clarity, energy, and motivation to face the more major sources of tension or help dismantle the infrastructure that keeps us spinning on the hamster wheel or break free from the rat race altogether.

What is one small step you can make towards reducing optional tension? Me? I’m going to turn the dial and find a comedy show to enjoy. Any suggestions?

Opting Out of Unnecessary Tension

I think we can all agree that chronic tension is unpleasant. It can cause physical discomfort,…
If you’ve ever been online, even once in the past decade, you are probably aware that chronic stress has a negative impact on health. The kind of stress that runs quietly in the background as you go about your days has been linked with inflammation and many of the diseases we all hope to avoid.

Managing it does not mean creating some sort of fairytale life in which you never again experience a stressful situation.

Nope. It means you handle it, to the best of your ability, rather than letting it take up permanent residence in your body or psyche.

Easier said than done, I know.

But I have first-hand experience and front row seats to the very real benefits of making the effort. Things like headaches, muscle tension, indigestion, and sleeplessness can fade away. Reliance on emotional support donuts diminishes. Clenched jaws release and teeth are no longer ground to dust overnight.

These things might not be as important as reducing the chances of major maladies, but are much more tangible in real time and greatly affect one’s quality of life.

Clients who come consistently for treatment often reach a point where they aren’t coming to address specific problems any more, but to continue feeling pretty darn good and maintain their resilience.

Their reports come with amusing details. The quirky issues that no longer present troubles or the quirky fun they get up to once the troubles no longer take center stage.

Today I got the best report ever. This, coming from a doctor who was on-call overnight all last week, still handling daytime clinical work plus extra admin work because of staff shortages, and a wife and mother. She was stretched pretty thin, and a bit worn out, but not overly stressed or tense. The icing on the cake? Her words: I didn’t even swear at anybody all week.

Don’t pretend you can’t relate! 🤣

(Side note: There are lots of folks saying that what we really need is an infrastructure upgrade so that we have fewer stressors. Yeah, sure, that’s ideal. In the meantime, since that probably isn’t happening today, I prefer to roll up my sleeves and take the action that is available to me.)

Managing stress isn’t about gaining moral superiority or bragging on Instagram. It’s about making your life more enjoyable, your body more comfortable, your emotional reactivity less explosive, your creativity and pleasure more accessible, your people less sweared-at.

Monthly Reiki-infused Swedish-ish massages aren’t for everyone. But that doesn’t mean you give up and do nothing. A few deep breaths, practiced throughout the day can make an impact and not cost a penny.

There are tons of ways you can actively participate in handling the stress that life inevitably delivers. Pick the one that appeals the most or is easiest and get started today. Insight Timer has a gazillion guided practices, many of them available for free.

If Reiki or Reiki-infused Swedish-ish massage appeals to you, that’s what I’m here for!

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Myriad Benefits of Stress Management

If you’ve ever been online, even once in the past decade, you are probably aware that…
My friend, you are a complex being. You have history that is still alive in your cells, emotions stored in your chakras, coping mechanisms that were helpful when you were younger but have since become outdated. Any of these are good reasons to get a Reiki session and begin to move forward in the direction you desire.

Simply acknowledging the obstacles you face can be overwhelming. Taking steps to face them is courageous, revolutionary even, in a society that is heavily invested in selling you stuff that you don’t need in order to avoid old wounds. When you show up for your appointment, it’s very possible you’ll be feeling vulnerable, anxious, nervous, excited, hopeful, or skeptical. Maybe even all of that, all at once! And still you show up.

That’s amazing.

You’re amazing.

You might not be at your best. Not your most forthright at communicating your needs. Not the most level-headed or open to trying something new. That is perfectly normal.

And I welcome it all.

You do not need to perform okay-ness in the Reiki room. You can be a hot mess here. It will not offend me. It will not upset me or cause me to think less of you.

And you need not apologize for any of it. In fact, please don’t. Apologizing for being human is not necessary when you come for a session.

I always have a backup box of tissues in my studio because tears often come to the surface when healing work is happening. They might be tears of release; oftentimes though it’s grief. Grief that you were unable to face before for any number of reasons. Grief that senses an opportunity to finally be met and eventually integrated.

That grief is welcome here.

You need not apologize for it or the tears that follow.

You can apologize if you forget your appointment and keep me waiting, or if you step on my foot when you arrive. Once a client head-butted me when turning over on the table. That was an apology that was actually merited. In the 23 years I’ve been practicing, those are the only “sorries” I’ve accepted. And I’ve witnessed all sorts of emotional distress, distracted and unfocused thinking, and frazzled nerves.

You need not show up for your healing appointment as if you are already healed. And you definitely need not apologize for the pain you carry. There is no reason to try to take care of me in this situation; it’s my job and my honor to be there, witnessing all the feelings. I can handle it.

Your hot mess is welcome here.

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Hot Messes Welcome Here

My friend, you are a complex being. You have history that is still alive in your…
Today’s post was inspired by a country song.

That’s not a sentence I ever expected to type! I’m not a country music fan, but I sometimes find the lyrics to be creative, colorful, and utterly relatable.

This song was about attempting to drown sorrows, but failing as they (the sorrows) had learned to swim.

We can safely assume that “drowning sorrows” in this context involves a large amount of whiskey.

But that doesn’t really work, does it? It can help you avoid a problem for a short amount of time, but often stirs up entirely new problems, such as a hangover or the consequences of decisions made while inebriated.

Believe me, I fully understand the impulse to escape the uncomfortable feelings. I’m well versed in a wide variety of strategies for doing exactly that. The reason I have so much experience is because it never works, so you have to keep the distractions coming, like a never-ending parade.

I wonder how many sorrows I’ve caused for myself in the pursuit of escaping sorrows. How many layers of suffering did I create for myself in these misguided attempts to avoid pain? I think it’s safe to assume that I’ve more than doubled my struggles in the name of “feeling better”. But it wasn’t better that I was feeling- it was just a temporary numbing.

Let’s just assume that all sorrows can swim. There is no drowning them. Not with whiskey or wine, shopping or scrolling, cookies or ice cream.

Rather than wasting precious life-force to avoid experiencing the full spectrum of emotions, what if we turned to face them?

It requires some courage and moxie to do so. Having some support such as a kind friend, spiritual advisor, or practical tool to help you stay present and grounded can make all the difference.

Reiki is one such tool. Not the only one, just the one I’m most familiar with as I’ve used it daily for the past 23 years. It helps with emotional and nervous system regulation by fostering a sense of peace and calm within. It neutralizes my urge to run away when things get tough and allows me to stay connected with my higher self. It builds harmony, clarity and balance so that I’m better able to meet the sorrows when they appear, but don’t get stuck wallowing in them.

Reiki helps me to be with grief, anger, upset and disappointment as well as joy and peace (which can be equally as uncomfortable if they’re unfamiliar).

These days I experience emotions like clouds in the sky. They come and go, but do not define me. Some days are stormy, some cloudy, some sunny. If I don’t like the weather, I can just wait a few minutes and it will change naturally.

Wherever you are in the world and on your healing journey, I’m willing to bet that Reiki can help you face your sorrows if you’re ready to try something new.

This is a judgment-free zone. I work with people with all sorts of issues, big and small, mystical and mundane, common and bizarre. I’ve yet to meet an emotion that Reiki couldn’t help metabolize when the recipient was truly willing to meet it.

Today is a great day to take a step towards wholeness by reclaiming all the life-force that has been invested in avoiding feelings. Get yourself some Reiki or join a training so you can learn to give yourself daily treatments.

There’s no need to drown sorrows when you can instead become adept at sitting with them and watching as they gradually lose intensity.

The side effects of Reiki treatment are feeling relaxed, at ease, at one with self and purpose, patient, compassionate, and joy-full. You already know the side-effects of several escapism strategies that are doomed to fail.

Those sorrows are not going to drown, no matter how much alcohol you use. Let’s stop this madness and try a holistic approach that cultivates wellness instead of headaches and regrets.

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The Problem with Drowning Your Sorrows

Today’s post was inspired by a country song. That’s not a sentence I ever expected to…
As a Reiki practitioner, I’m in the business of promoting holistic health and healing. I’m here to share what holistic wellness means to me, someone who swims daily in these waters, knowing that my take is different than many others’.

I will start by saying that it’s complicated. But even that is an understatement.

“Holistic healing” means cultivating harmony and balance in all aspects of your being.

ALL of you.

Nothing is excluded, not even parts you may have rejected that remain lurking in the shadows.

Thoughts, emotions, sensations, impulses, instincts, biochemical reactions, energy patterns, and more.

It is a completely different paradigm from the conventional sick-care model where people with an ailment go to a professional with a stethoscope and receive 9 minutes of divided attention and a prescription to suppress symptoms.

In the holistic model, it’s not simply a matter of swapping out “natural remedies” for the pharmaceutical variety. We are not interested in squashing the body’s messages when something is out of balance. Instead, we are interested in diving down that rabbit hole and exploring the sources of those imbalances.

Generally it involves a shift in one’s perspective, belief system, coping mechanisms, environment, relationships, and/or habits. Meaning that it’s essential to remove that which is interfering with wellness.

Very rarely is it as simple as a 9 minute conversation and a pill.

Imagine finding black mold in your basement. You could slap some wallpaper over it and pretend it isn’t there or lock the door and avoid the area altogether. You’d still be breathing spores, though, wouldn’t you? To actually treat the the mold, it would need to be carefully and methodically removed. Likewise, the origin of the dampness would need to be resolved to prevent future infestation.

That’s the kind of work we do with Reiki. (And you could learn how in a Reiki 1 class!)

Once you wrap your head around the concept that wellness is something we can choose to neglect or to foster, it gets easier to understand why it takes time. And effort. And probably some out-of-pocket spending since the insurance-to-pharmaceutical pipeline is not going to be very helpful in this regard.

While health isn’t always something that we can perfect, it doesn’t mean we shouldn’t take steps in that direction. Every action has consequences, and progress matters more than achieving some mythical goal of perfection.

What I’ve observed over the two decades + that I’ve spent immersed in this work is that the some of the largest obstacles to wellness are internal forces. Things like outdated survival strategies that keep us stuck in unhealthy patterns, limiting beliefs about who we are and what roles we must play, inherited beliefs about what is possible and how we need to behave to be safe and belong.

(Yes, there are massive systemic failures that need to be repaired. Without a doubt the entire medical industrial complex needs a makeover as well as the ridiculous demands of modern day living. These things, however, are outside my capacity to influence in a timely manner.)

These internal factors are all malleable with consistent attention. I can help with the process, but I cannot do the work for anyone. Nor can any other practitioner, therapist, pill, or optimized morning routine. No cold plunge, red light therapy, or herbal supplement can zap away a lifetime of neglected and festering wounds. They might be useful tools on the journey, but they are not the journey itself.

Your compassionate attention is required.

There are lots of reasons you may find this to be challenging. My work is designed to help you meet and dismantle these challenges. Can you do this work on your own? Absolutely. But you don’t have to.

A good starting point is to simply notice how you’re feeling. You could begin right now. I find it helps to place a hand on my heart and inquire within: How am I feeling right now? Allow the answer to bubble up without needing to justify why you feel that way or if you should or should not be having whatever feelings you are or are not having. Just acknowledge what is true for you in this moment.

If you’re feeling especially brave, you could explore this feeling through sound, movement, journaling, or artwork.

How would this feeling like me to move? What sound would it make? What words would it use? What colors or shapes or patterns does it want to express?

A simple practice including the compassionate witnessing of our own feelings is incredibly therapeutic. It’s somewhat of a secret though, as there is no way to commodify this practice and if we all began engaging in such behavior, it would likely disrupt the so-called wellness industry’s profit margin.

Like I said earlier, holistic healing is complicated. There’s more to it than just noticing feelings, but this can activate a shift in your life’s trajectory that can have huge implications over time. It can open up the flow of life-force, allowing all your systems to receive a boost in healing energy and enhancing your immune system.

For those with unprocessed acute trauma, it can also trigger some heavy, upsetting emotions. In this case, it’s wise to have some support on standby and to go slowly. Maybe you start with just three breaths and then turn your attention to something more comfortable.

Somewhere in between suppressing your feelings and trying to do everything all at once is a middle ground. Choose something easy or the one thing that you know will yield a cascade of beneficial results. Take one step in that direction. And keep going.

If you want the support of spiritually-guided life-force, AKA Reiki, consider scheduling session or joining a class. It would be my great honor to hold space and provide healing energy for your journey.

Reiki Training

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Holistic Wellness. What does that even mean?

As a Reiki practitioner, I’m in the business of promoting holistic health and healing. I’m here…
We’re gearing up over here for the next level 1 training. YAY!

Reiki 1 is the beginning point for anyone, yes I do mean anyone, who wants to gain access to the healing energies of Reiki.

There are no special skills required, no magical powers, no experience in the healing or mystical arts.

Reiki is a natural energy and a Master Teacher performs an attunement ritual that opens a student’s capacity to connect to this energy.

It’s as simple as that. Reiki itself does the work of opening energy channels. Never has it failed. Anyone can do Reiki once attuned.

It’s perhaps my all-time favorite thing, watching folks go from ordinary person to Reiki practitioner in the course of an evening. We spend the rest of the classes discussing the foundational topics such as where it comes from, what can and cannot be treated, and how to use it. But it’s the attunement that initiates.

Reiki, when applied consistently and intentionally, can shift even the most stuck issues. It’s an amazing remedy for stress and pain relief, anxiety, overwhelm, fatigue, and digestive issues. It can be used to support personal growth and spiritual connection, healthy relationships and free-flowing abundance, address old wounds and outdated coping mechanisms.

If you’re interested in learning how to connect with this spiritually-guided life-force energy, or if you want a jumpstart for your lapsed practice, we begin on May 7.

Details can be found here.

Reiki 1 Certification

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That’s me with messy hair and a crooked smile. I’m just a regular person who has devoted her life to being a transmission of healing energy. You could too!

Reiki 1 Certification begins May 7, 2026

We’re gearing up over here for the next level 1 training. YAY! Reiki 1 is the…
When folks are in the early stages of learning to receive and interpret intuitive messages, it’s only natural to want to tell the world. Alas, they often feel confused or hurt when sharing an “inner knowing” is met with skepticism, or worse yet, mockery.

It’s a sad truth that we live in a world that often doubts and disrespects the metaphysical. Many people refuse to believe what they cannot sense with their own eyes. Being a purveyor of spiritually guided life-force energy, I’ve mostly become immune to the glazed-over expressions, raised eyebrows, and abrupt conversation changes, but it took some time to get there.

These experiences can be incredibly discouraging to those just trying out their new skills. It’s my suggestion that until you get your footing firmly established, you keep your newly discovered magic to yourself or within a supportive inner circle.

Recently a friend told me that she had a nudge to move her car from the street into the driveway. When she told her husband, he said it was fine where it was. Several hours later, they were abruptly awakened after a someone had crashed into the car, causing extensive damage. While she now has proof of the I-told-you-so variety, it’s little consolation for the expense and inconvenience. Next time she’ll just move the car, or whatever the nudge suggests.

Until you gain confidence in your ability to access inner knowing, you might find it beneficial to keep your exploration on the down low.

If you need some support, perhaps you can find an online community or even a local Meetup group with like-minded folks. (Or book an appointment with me. I love cultivating this stuff!) Just as you wouldn’t throw a first-time swimmer into shark infested waters, be kind to yourself by sharing selectively. There’s no sense in subjecting yourself to disparaging skeptics.

Once you have developed some trust in your abilities, you can share your insights more widely. By then, you won’t be as vulnerable to the naysayers and might even have some fun playing with their resistance. Or you’ll quickly figure out that some people are just contrary for the sake of being contrary and simply ignore them.

You can also ask for guidance about setting (and enforcing!) boundaries to protect yourself from insensitive… folks.

Some of us know things without knowing how we know them or being able to justify their validity. We happen to live in a culture that overly reveres the material world and dismisses the gifts of the intuitive. Don’t let that stop you from connecting with your guidance from the spiritual realm.

This is part of a series I’ve written over the years, and I’ve compiled all the Intuition Chronicles below for your convenience. I’d suggest letting your inner compass guide you to the article that is most aligned with your current needs if you want to explore further. Or just pick one at random. 😉

Listen

Start Small

Heron, Duck, Turtle

Awaken Inner Guidance

A Dream Directive

The Basic Skills

Using Reiki to Connect

Start with the Basics

The Cell Phone Edition

Reiki Can Help

The Rearview Mirror

Following Through

It’s Not Always About Me

The Hot Water Episode

Intuition Chronicles: Ignore the Skeptics

When folks are in the early stages of learning to receive and interpret intuitive messages, it’s…
If you’re reading this, chances are you are actively involved in co-creating more wellness in your life.

The more you learn, the more complicated it seems.

It’s not just what you eat, but where it came from and how it was stored and prepared. Not just that you exercise, but when and where.

My neighbor and I were joking the other day that if you do all the things, when are you supposed to work?

It’s a lot to hold in your awareness, let alone to follow through.

I’m leaning into doing less and the tools that are helpful but don’t require another item on my calendar, shopping list, or the creation of a to-do spreadsheet.

Such as music. Not all music, obviously, but some varieties can be soothing or uplifting, calming or energizing.

And all you have to do is press play and maybe pop on some headphones.

Here’s to doing less and receiving more.

No More To-do’s, Please

If you’re reading this, chances are you are actively involved in co-creating more wellness in your…
I haven’t been posting very much this winter. At first, I felt the inward draw of the shorter days around the solstice. I didn’t have much to say and leaned deeply into introspection.

As the days began to lengthen in January, I still was quiet. Incubating something, but still, not much to say about it.

Then, this happened:

Nine inches of heavy, wet snow. We’re still dealing with the aftermath two weeks later; heaps of plowed snow at every intersection and covering many parking spots.

It’s been disruptive to say the least. We’ve had a few warmer afternoons when the piles softened and then refroze overnight, now icy and slippery instead of lumpy and surmountable.

Even Phil, the oracle groundhog has acknowledged that we have a long way to go until spring arrives.

And now, we have yet another string of days that are brutally cold.

I’ve met my match. While I might feel invigorated walking in twenty degree weather, I’ve learned that my line is drawn when we dip into the single digits. And certainly negative 13 (cuz the crazy wind) is not conducive to a healthful stroll around the block.

A good part of my “therapy”, both physical and mental/emotional, relies on daily walks outside, preferably amongst the trees instead of cars. But this is just simply not available to me currently.

It’s a bummer, but I can pivot. Part of the reason I invest so heavily in my daily therapy is so that I have reserves for when I need it. Also, so I can access my intuition about when I need to pivot.

This weather is a good reminder that I can’t control everything. Actually, I can’t control most things! All I can do is the best I can with what I’ve got to work with. And today, that’s going to be indoors despite a desire to get some fresh air and sunshine.

This was a long way of saying, if you’ve been dealt less than ideal circumstances, you can fight against it, give up entirely and go back to bed, or roll with it. Take a moment to truly assess your resources and challenges before falling into default patterns. Learning to roll with it can yield amazing, unforeseen results.

If a door is closed to you, you can try to ram it down. But I’ve learned (the hard way!) that exploring options and seeking an open window often leads to fortuitous events.

When I let go of the plan my mind has made and choose to go with the flow, that’s when miracles happen.

And I am most ready for a miracle today!

I bet you are too.

So that’s what -13 degrees F “feels like”!

I haven’t been posting very much this winter. At first, I felt the inward draw of…